Motherhood Uncensored

WOHM-ish

I've been a work-at-home-mom since I left my job as a university professor back in 2005.

Okay, so really I was a stay-at-home-mom because I'd hardly qualify writing this blog as working.

But then I started Cool Mom Picks. And got a partner.

And I began writing more than just scholarly journal articles, though I'd like to think that my Mominatrix column is somewhat scholarly.

Ahem.

And all of a sudden I was doing a bit more than I could with kids running around, or in the couple hours that they were napping and the few hours at night before I'd collapse on my bed with a remote and a bunch of rich housewives bitching at each other.

It's been a challenge managing my work with my job as primary parent most of the time. And it's been even harder balancing all that within the confines of a relationship. Part of the difficulty was due to the fact that much of what I did and still do developed over time.

It was never a position that I accepted or a job that I took.

And so many people, including my husband, still saw me as a SAHM with a business on the side, when really I was a WAHM without childcare.

What a difference a title makes.

Thankfully, we've come to a place where what I do is not just "playing on the computer."

Most of the time.

And with the help of some part-time childcare now, we're both able to do what we need to do without one of us feeling guilty or getting pissed off.

But I still find working from home a challenge. The distractions are plenty, and it never fails that I'm sucked away from a project by the large load of laundry or pile of dishes. And while that's not a big deal all the time, I do feel as though I'd be able to get more work done, and thus have to sit in front of the screen for less time, if I had a quiet space where I could go to write.

And that's just what I've found.

A cool co-working space about 25 minutes from my house. I pay a small monthly fee to have access along with a bunch of other professionals like me, so I can go with my laptop to an "office" and work in the peace and quiet whenever I choose.

Of course, the challenge will be to actually get the work done there so I don't end up working there and at home all hours of the day. I'm really hoping it will let me be more focused on my work so that I can be more focused on what's going on at home.

But it's a start.

And boy does it feel good.

Use one color please

Just the other night, I had admired my daughter's creative way of coloring yet another homework sheet. Ever since her teacher decided to place the best homework up on the wall, she painstakingly colors the tiny, annoying little pictures, even if its not required.

She used to never really care about the damn coloring part, just grabbing whatever crayon she could find just to be done with worksheet #47 of the day.

And honestly, I didn't blame her. 

She's been able to color in the lines since she was about two and a half. She's a ridiculously amazing artist. And she can color in the freaking lines like a champ.

So when the very paper that I had commented upon, the one where she colored half of each shape using multiple colors - some of them rainbows, some of them alternating stripes - with "USE ONE COLOR PLEASE" on it in big red letters I was pissed.

I didn't see the "Use only one BORING color for each shape" anywhere on the paper. 

Because it wasn't there.

I've had my issues with the ridiculous grading system, like the 78 Quinlan got on a handwriting assignment that required her to write no less than 15 lower case letter "f's." I'm not surprised that by the 7th one she got sloppy. I'd get sloppy after writing four of them.

But even in the areas that she's doing well, I question the grading methods. How does a Kindergartener get a "98" in Science? 

I didn't show Quinlan the paper because she didn't need to see it.

And I don't hang over her when she does her homework to be sure that she carefully writes every fucking letter so God forbid she doesn't get a red circle around the part of the "t" that went too far over the bottom line.

I shit you not.

This is not how I want my daughter to start her entrance into the exciting world of organized education.
It can be exciting and invigorating to be a part of an amazing learning environment. 

And I admit that at the beginning of the year, I had mixed emotions as to whether she'd get it at this particular school.

But given our options at the time, it was our best, feasible choice.

I'm thankful that she enjoys it. The ridiculous worksheets. The coloring inside the lines. Her job as "bathroom monitor" where she gets to tell her teacher who talked.

She gets to exercise her inner tattle tale, apparently.

But I'm realizing that just because she enjoys it, doesn't necessarily mean it's the right place for her. She's got an amazingly creative mind - from her dress up clothes, to her imaginative play, to her insanely cool drawings. 

There's just got to be a place that doesn't limit her to just one color.