10 Weirder and Randomer Things About Me

I am currently avoiding the television because the huz (who never watches tv) has decided HE is watching the FLIGHT 93 movie on AnE tonight and well, like Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan, it's a movie in which I know hundreds of people get killed, and I just don't feel like having the image in my head before bed. I'd much prefer watching the Biggest Loser Family Finale - making me, well, the biggest loser.

Anyway, I was tagged by my pal over at (This) Girls Gone Child. And since I already did a post like this way back in the day, I figure, this list will include weirder and more randomer things about me - oh, and my daughter. Hence the meme and sheshe. And, I can't take credit for the idea - GGC is way ahead of the times - living it up in the L to the A...

MEME

1. I fast forward uncomfortable parts in movies. It doesn't matter if I have never seen the movie before or if I have seen it a thousand times. And, it's not just like murders or scary scenes, it's like people getting yelled at by their mother, or children getting caught by the childcatcher (sorry, just watched CHITTYCHITTYBANGBANG)...

2. I have a grey streak on the right side of my head and I hate it. It used to be bright red and I had hairdressers ask me all the time if I dyed it that way. NOPE - and about 4 years ago it turned WHITE. I dye it every now and then... or pluck it.

3. I was married before and I won that wedding on a tv show (nothing national). So, when I got divorced, it wasn't so bad, since we didn't really spend anything on the wedding itself. And, I figured, it couldn't have been real since the pastor was named REVEREND BUDDY.

4. I chew my nails but only when I'm breastfeeding. I started doing it to keep myself awake - and now I can't stop - except now, I chew my daughters as well. She doesn't seem to mind and it keeps me from having to try to clip hers.

5. I'm obsessed with plucking eyebrows, pulling out in-grown hairs, that sort of thing. It's very fun for me. I could do it all day. The huz had an ingrown hair in his face (he has to shave everyday - damn military) and it was about 1/2 inch long. I almost had an orgasm when he let me pull it out.

6. In reference to #3, said ex gave me a strap on dildo (large and black) as well as a regular notsogreatfloppywhatthehellwillIdowiththis dildo and offered to allow me to fuck him in the ass if I wanted to shortly before we divorced. Not sure how that came into his mind. Desperation causes people to do crazy shit. I declined the offer. I'm way more into metaphorically fucking people in the ass. TYVM.

7. I have a very messed up GI system (thanks DAD) and I have bad gas. I don't fart in front of strangers or anything, but I have, on occasion, blasted my husband out of the bed. I have also thought that death was coming to me on the toilet. The pink stuff is my friend.

8. I hate anxiety provoking games - such as "Red Rover" and "Fool Ball." I get so uncomfortable that I cry and laugh at the same time. I'm not crying because I'm laughing so hard - it's more like a thisisreallyfunnynoitsnotitsreallyawful kind of cry. It can also happen when I'm in the middle of very uncomfortable conversation - or when I found a playboy bunny earring my husband used to wear (he does not wear an earring EVER).

9. My engagement ring diamond is from the ring my husband gave to his ex-fiance. She took everything when they broke up (and none of it was really hers) including the ring, but he stole it back. Not sure how I feel about it - but it's damn purty and big.

10. My daughter's birthday is the same day as this guy I dated between husbands. It still kind of freaks me out. But, it's still the best day of my life.

SHESHE

1. She shares her name (different spelling) with Ben Stiller's new kid. WE chose it first - and I think it sounds better on a girl.

2. She is a classic cancer (her sign). I'm not a huge astrology person, but I like to read it.

3. She is obsessed with babies. Live or play.

4. She just learned how to say "bad babies" - a song by Sandra Boynton. Her first 2 word phrase. Great.

5. When she doesn't want anymore food or she is mad at me, she just lets her food fall out of her mouth on the floor. It really pisses me off.

6. She is obsessed with Pooh - although she has never seen a tv show or movie with him. She wears a pooh shirt every day. Therefore, we shop at K-mart for all her clothes.

7. She is a master at wooden puzzles - recently conquering an alphabet puzzle, without assistance, in less than 5 minutes.

8. She asks for the playground by saying HORSE and her muppet movie by saying PIG.

9. If she sees a baby on tv, she will kiss the tv.

10. Her nicknames are as follows: Goosie, Miss Goose, Lady Goose, Goosaluna, and Goosamarooney. I also sing her a song "The goose is loose - the goose is on the loose." Then I started calling her Loosey Goosey - and then I stopped. HEH.

So, I'm sticking with the MOMMY TAG TREND, here goes:

Izzy, Fidget, and Kyra (all of which are coolass blogs on my roll list). YOU ARE IT.

AND PS, I didn't forget:

Happy Monday.

Comments

[kyra]

oh my god! i've been tagged! i can never come up with such entertaining tidbits! but i'll do my best... either that or come up with random thoughts on OTHER people i know...tee hee. i'm TOTALLY with you on the plucking eye brow thing--i've got a BIG HAIR PREOCCUPATION especially now since so many are sprouting. ahh! aging!

[Beth]

Yah - the dildo/ass action was hysterical - and I think matrimony by Reverend Buddy cannot be valid!! :)

Oh - and I hear you on the nicknames! My son is the Gooseman and Mr. Gravy. My daughter is Foofy-doo and the Beaner. I'm not even sure where these came from...:
)

[Artsy Momma Chic]

I am soooo relieved that there are other rational people who enjoy an occasional ingrown hair removal or a popping of a blackhead or zit! Seriously you can know how fantastic that is!! LMAO I thought I was a real nutcase!! GiGgLeS!! My favorite ingrown hairs are the ones in my boyfriends beard!! How theres like a million hairs alltogether when you pull it out! I cannot believe I'm typing all of this! I may have to go back and delete it...nah!!

I actually CHOKED on my coffee when I read about the ex and the strap on!!!!!!! TOO FUNNY!!

[knq]

I love duncachino - and well, I HOPE my mom doesn't read this (HEH) - actually I know she doesn't and well, I should have taken him up on the offer - cuz god knows this hubby won't be offerin that up any time soon LOL...
Now off for plane nightmares - I got sucked into the damn movie and after crying for 20 straight minutes, I want to go hug my daughter and NEVER fly again. DAMNIT.

[girls gone child]

i TOTALLY am with you on the popping-shit thing. i LOVE popping pimples, maybe because of all those years with BA-AD skin. I pop my husbands black-heads, white-heads too and once in a while I get a GOOD one on his back. Yes!

I am very impressed with your honesty a la the big black dildo. I am totally a fan of all vibrating, large phallic objects but was too shy to mention this (my parents and in-laws read my blog as well as my grandparents who are pretty liberal but STILL) in my list. Never was asked to do any ass-fuckin though. You are one lucky lady.

Thank you. Truly entertaining. I would have expected nothing less. :)

[Kristen]

Isn't it funny how the kids always end up with lots of nicknames? Sometimes random, sometimes related to their original name. Like, for some reason my husband began calling our son David, "Duncan" and "Dunkachino" and "Duncan-Lunkin". And my poor, poor daughter. How could you ever make something awful out of Sofia, right? Well, it started with "Sofi" then became "Sof" and morphed into "The Sof-a-loaf" and now she's just pretty much "Loaf". When I get a whiff of her diaper after she's been hiding in the corner I ask her brother if the "Loaf's done a loaf." I swear, I didn't mean for it to end up like this. At least your nicknames for your daughter are cute and she couldn't possibly ever hate you for them...