The Revolving Door of Motherhood
I admit wholeheartedly that I had a very hard time adjusting to motherhood. Hell, I'm still adjusting and I'm toting around a full-fledged toddler. I have always loved children, but it's easy to love kids when they are someone else's - and you can give them back after a few hours. When you have your own, it opens up a regular Pandora's box full of issues that never ONCE crossed your mind. Vaccinations? Illnesses? Poop? Babysitters? Diapers? Potty Training? The list goes on. For me, I believe the hardest part so far has been dealing with the constant changes that occur with my daughter - thus disrupting common order and peace-harmony-love in my household.
It seems as though once you conquer a milestone, yet another one waits on the other side. I have not once felt any level of comfort when it comes to the major areas of my child's life - eating, sleeping, and teething. It seems as though once I get to a point where one thing is working really well, another one goes totally SOUTH. It's this perpetual motion of motherhood that I liken to a revolving door.
I believe humans desire some level of structure and routine. It's probably why we all get in a rut so easily. It's true that routine and predictability breeds comfort and comfort breeds happiness. Change is scary for many people - even the most adventurous folks. Moving to a new place, taking a new job, even eating at a new restaurant can wreak havoc amongst even the most sane of adults. We are creatures of habit - at one level or another.
So, when I happened upon motherhood and realized that my daughter would sleep through the night for 2 weeks, and then she would be teething and back I was, sleeping in the red chair, I freaked out! OR, she would be eating without argument, and then she would be teething, and back I was, feeding her frozen peas and grapes. I was SO attached to my little achievements, that when they were turned upside down on a very frequent basis, I was up in arms, pulling my hair out, and wondering why the hell I was given a child.
Since then, I have learned that milestones come and go, and so do times of peace-harmony-and sleep in my house. I'm dealing with a rapidly growing little human who is learning new and exciting skills each day. So, I try to rejoice in the mini-moments of restfulness and ease that come my way, and then try to remember, when they are seemingly erased in a matter of minutes, that the door of motherhood is always revolving. And while that may be a pain in my ass right now - at least I know, it's moving, and it won't be stopped in the land of no-sleep-teething-pain-drainage-hell for long. And, I'll be able to walk through that door again to see what adventures (hopefully a full night's rest)lie on the other side.