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The Revolving Door of Motherhood

DoorI admit wholeheartedly that I had a very hard time adjusting to motherhood. Hell, I'm still adjusting and I'm toting around a full-fledged toddler. I have always loved children, but it's easy to love kids when they are someone else's - and you can give them back after a few hours. When you have your own, it opens up a regular Pandora's box full of issues that never ONCE crossed your mind. Vaccinations? Illnesses? Poop? Babysitters? Diapers? Potty Training? The list goes on. For me, I believe the hardest part so far has been dealing with the constant changes that occur with my daughter - thus disrupting common order and peace-harmony-love in my household.

It seems as though once you conquer a milestone, yet another one waits on the other side. I have not once felt any level of comfort when it comes to the major areas of my child's life - eating, sleeping, and teething. It seems as though once I get to a point where one thing is working really well, another one goes totally SOUTH. It's this perpetual motion of motherhood that I liken to a revolving door.

I believe humans desire some level of structure and routine. It's probably why we all get in a rut so easily. It's true that routine and predictability breeds comfort and comfort breeds happiness. Change is scary for many people - even the most adventurous folks. Moving to a new place, taking a new job, even eating at a new restaurant can wreak havoc amongst even the most sane of adults. We are creatures of habit - at one level or another.

So, when I happened upon motherhood and realized that my daughter would sleep through the night for 2 weeks, and then she would be teething and back I was, sleeping in the red chair, I freaked out!  OR, she would be eating without argument, and then she would be teething, and back I was, feeding her frozen peas and grapes. I was SO attached to my little achievements, that when they were turned upside down on a very frequent basis, I was up in arms, pulling my hair out, and wondering why the hell I was given a child.

Since then, I have learned that milestones come and go, and so do times of peace-harmony-and sleep in my house. I'm dealing with a rapidly growing little human who is learning new and exciting skills each day. So, I try to rejoice in the mini-moments of restfulness and ease that come my way, and then try to remember, when they are seemingly erased in a matter of minutes, that the door of motherhood is always revolving. And while that may be a pain in my ass right now - at least I know, it's moving, and it won't be stopped in the land of no-sleep-teething-pain-drainage-hell for long. And, I'll be able to walk through that door again to see what adventures (hopefully a full night's rest)lie on the other side.


Take a look at some of the posts in my blog, I was the furtherest from motherhood a woman can get. From crazy dancing on top of a car doing burn outs, through to medical specialists telling me I'd never have children. I was SOOO terrified when I found out I was pregnant I do believe I went into shock, no joke. How could someone like me ever be a parent? I was all over the place, I had enough problems taking care of myself, hell, I didn't take care of myself. I just played life like it played me. Everything, and I mean absolutely everything, changed. My life is completely different now, and I wouldn't give it up for the world. I actually enjoy the change, it feeds that wild child in me, that first morning question of “Oh god what's going to happen today?” and keeps me on my toes. I was terrified again when I found out I was pregnant again, and went through all those same feelings. But as I sit here now I can't help but smile, there's something beautiful about your baby telling you “your all poohzzz mummy” .. nice to see you can string a sentence together sweetheart .. lol

Just found your blog through GGC - I really like it! You have some fantastic posts...great stuff and I will definitely be back!

At least we know that the revolving will be consistent. When I finally figured that out, I felt a whole hell of a lot better. Thanks for posting ladies!

and MIM - and thanks for the roll. I have enjoyed reading!

My Therapist told me that for some parents, their expertise comes later on.

What's hard, I think, is that everyone expects you to be an expert on your kid. But geesh, sometimes you just don't know!

I have no words of wisdom except to say that with children it's just a cycle of change over and over. I've given up counting on anything except that.

What a great post! This is exactly how I felt and even STILL sometimes feel. Just when you get settled into your routine . . . they go and change again on you. Little buggers! But, in the end, we wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, how else are they going to grow up and move out?

Thanks for your comments on my blog, BTW! I really appreciate you taking the time to voice your opinion. I hope you don't mind if I blogroll you.

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