Holiday Gift Giving 101

I'm really not a fan of V-day. It annoys the piss out of me that we are all sucked into the vacuum of "pseudo-love" when really it's just another day that they have decided would be good to sell shit, particularly RED. I'm not anti-romance, by any means, but I grow tired of the constant bombardment of teddy bears, chocolates, and roses that represent very little about how I feel towards my huz after 2 or so years of marriage and one toddler. Look, when you get that point (and cripes, I'm only at the beginning) you wish for a bit more than a stuffed red rabbit can really express - time together, deep conversations, and well SEX. Let's face it. I'd prefer some good lovin' and a nice card over anything else you could buy me. None of this bang you for 2 minutes and then fall asleep naked half on top of you crap. But, perhaps a nice bath, candles, lingerie, and LOVE MAKING?

When you get to my ripe old age of 30 (heh), there comes a time when you have enough crappy stuff. You don't want anymore things you are not going to use that you are just going to have to 1) give away, 2) throw away, or 3) pack away and MOVE. The sentiment is lost amidst the "why did you buy that? I don't need or want that. Where the hell did you get that?" discussions post holiday. I'm not trying to be a bitch here, I'm just trying to say that if you want to get us something, get us some HOT SEX. Why bother spending the money on all that shit when really, all a girl wants, is some nice FREEEEEEE romantic sex.

And, really, this works with ALL HOLIDAYS. Perhaps some red-white-n-blue- panties for independence day (set her free, man, set her free). OR, some role-playing at Christmastime ala Santa and his special little elf. At least then WE will know that the GOOD SEX is coming at least 4-5 times a year. Think of all the money both of you could save, plus everyone needs a little shot *ahem* of optimism now and then.

So, this Valentine's Day, buy some candles, bath oils, rose petals, and lingerie - or if you are on a budget, buy nothing and just wear some hotnsexy boxer briefs - put on some romantic music, maybe SADE or STING, and WOO THE LADY. WOO HER HARD. WOO HER BAD. WOO HER GOOD.

Make V-day truly her V-day (you know the "other" V...), and all will be well for EVERYONE.

Comments

[knq]

Stella - Agreed... It's another holiday created by a man FOR SURE - or a woman who was sick of not getting anything ever.

And I'm glad you like my hairy balls... post that is :)

[Stella Nole]

see, here is the prob, my friend.

were talking about men. if you were married to a woman, this wouldn't be an issue. women have an intuition about 'needs', that men can't, or just don't want to tap into.

i couldnt' agree more with what you are saying, but I won't hold my breath. whats more interesting to me about V-Day, is the concept of showing your love, in some fashion, because its a holiday and its expected. Really, we shouldn't need 'one special' day out of the year for love.

as for the other holidays...sentiment will ALWAYS TRUMP the long list of shallow hallmark 'gifts' men think they are supposed to rush out and buy the day of after theyve gotten off the phone with you or talked to their buddy and been reminded it was even A HOLIDAY at all!

ha. your hairy balls post was awesome. by the way! loved it.

[knq]

Tres patriotique....!!!

[Dawn]

Perhaps you can get a flag shape waxed in the poon for July 4th...