As I was leaving music class the other day, I was talking with another well-educated, reasonably informed (or so I thought) mom about children's clothing, namely that there was really nowhere around where we live that sold really great stuff. Not that I'm looking for designer cute-ture (thanks GGC), but I do like nice clothes that don't fall apart after one washing, and I prefer to not have to dig through 1200 racks of shit to find ONE nice dress ala TJMAXX but WAYYYYY worse. Anyway, she agreed with me and then said "Well, you can't find any boy's clothes around here that aren't gay, and daddy doesn't want us [speaking to child] looking gay..."
And there you go. Just had to go there. I mean, really... You are an educated woman of the 21st century and you are still using THAT? And then I thought, I shouldn't really be surprised, since I hear it ALL the time from a lot of people - edumacated and not. Hell, they still use RETARDED down here (and I mean referring TO the folks with disabilities and for other things they believe to be stupid and dumb). AND, while we do live in gay-hate-country-I'm-an-ignorant-redneck USA, I know it's not isolated to this part of the country.
I think we all realize at some level that being gay is not a choice because if it were, then really, NO one would choose it - especially here in the US when as gay person, you can barely get married, have kids, and LIVE happily and safely, with equal rights. Wait let me rephrase, no one except women who have been burned OH too many times by asshole men, would choose to be gay *wink*. Anyway, now that we are in agreement about that, let's address the issue at hand, shall we? Looking gay.
What's so bad about it, I wonder? I mean, have you really ever seen a badly dressed gay man? Not me. And, have you really ever seen gay men only wear pink sweaters and light blue t-shirts? NOPE, can't say I have. And, have you ever seen a raggedy coiffed, nasty shaven, scraggly looking gay man? NOTTA - only when he's pretending to be straight (blllahahahahaha). Technically speaking, if someone says that to you, you should probably take it as a compliment, because based on my scholarly research (gay clubs, bars, and pals) gay men dress WAY better than straight men.
And then we get into gender roles in this society - ones that are so fucking messed up that I can't even find a gender neutral toy for my 18-month old. It's either kitchens or toolworkshops. It's either dolls or trucks. And, if you buy the one that is "opposite" your child's gender, people look at you like you are a freeeaaaaakkk. Can society jam the whole "women-love-domesticity" shit down are throat anymore? And really, why the hell do we as women continue to put up with it? *says while counting the number of dolls and purses laying around the house* Seroiusly folks, haven't you thought that the gender specific colors are socially programmed in our brains and REALLY girls don't prefer pink, but it's what is forced upon them by society?
And c'mon, can a baby really look gay? I mean I know we obsess about "who's gay and who's not" - try to pick them out at restaurants and dance clubs because we're total idiots (I for one refuse to engage in this stupidity...), but really, do people sit around at baby showers and play groups going "Hmmm... totally gay..."? I THINK NOT. How is it that if the MAN lets his SON wear a light blue shirt than that means clearly HE is gay? - although he is married, with a wife, and son, so clearly, unless he has internalized homophobia and hate gays because he is one (yes, it exists), then he's probably NOT GAY. HELLO!
Oh, and have you noticed it's mostly about MEN'S clothing - because, we the female oppressing society, still LOVE the idea of a lesbian. And therefore, we don't go around saying flannel shirts and mountain boots on a girl is GAY... it's just the purple argyle sweater in the Men's Section of BR.
So people. If you don't like the light blue shirts and the pink shorts for your son FINE. No big deal. But, why don't you just say you don't like them, or you think they're ugly, or even GROSS. But, I just don't think it's necessary to insult an entire culture of people (surely people raise eyebrows when we say "that's so LATINO" or "BLACK") every time we just think something is silly. Changing LANGUAGE leads to changing MINDS.