Why My Students Will Never Be Writing Songs for Sesame Street

As I was thinking of my topic for today, I did a quick mental run through of all my previous posts and realized I hadn't written much of anything about work. There's probably a good reason for that - namely, I feel as though work stories tend to have a had to be there kind of air about them and I work with clients and I feel as though their shit (unlike mine, obviously) should be kept private. BUT, I am more than willing to share funny stories of my students, and that is what I offer you, dear MU readers, today.

If you haven't picked out this info, prior to motherhood, I was a college professor in music therapy. If you (like most other people I meet on a daily basis) have no idea what the hell that is, click here. My job consisted of preparing students (through classwork and clinical situations) to provide therapeutic services for people with health needs by using music. Sounds really complicated - or at least I try to make it sound that way because playing music for sick people just doesn't have the same ring.

Once students have the BASIC ability to play an instrument (namely guitar or piano - maracas for the really slow ones) and sing at the SAME TIME, I send them off into actual clinical situations with real live people - basically a group of fourteen 3 & 4 year olds at the campus daycare. In music therapy speak, that's an easy crowd; you can sing or play ANYTHING and they are happy (hence my argument for the popularity of Barney and the Wiggles). Students generally give me the she's-throwing-us-to-the-wolves type reaction, not knowing that if I threw them to some adults, they would literally be chewed up and eaten as a nice salty nursing home lunch.

As a professor, I have the joy of watching these lovely interactions from behind a two sided mirror. When I was a student, the two-sided mirror gave me some level of ease; I knew that if I royally fucked up, someone was there to save me and I didn't have to look at their scouring face while I did it. What I didn't know is that the tw0-sided mirror was purely to provide professors with a little mid-day entertainment while masking their 4-minute eye rolls when a student (me) forgets the tune of "Row, Row Your Boat" and repeats it 12 times, OR hiding their vigorous wrist-slitting motions when a student (me) sings a song entitled "What Did You See On The Way To Music" to a person who is TOTALLY BLIND and missing one eye.

So, when I encountered this ditty, I shouldn't have been surprised. It's a music therapy student's proud moment when they unleash a self-created music therapy song upon the masses of snotty-nosed children at the day care center. And, generally speaking, I review the songs for content BEFORE they do them - alas, this one must have passed by me (or maybe I saw it and just decided I'd stick around for the good show). In either case, this doozy, performed with much energy and gusto, reminds me that my students WILL NEVER be writing songs for Sesame Street.

The Beaver Song

Beaver one and beaver two, show us what your beavers do

[Actually, my beaver doesn't do any tricks these days]

chchchchchchchchchchch <-- chomping noise?

Beaver three and beaver four, open up your beaver door

[do they have doors or is that just virgins?]

chchchchchchchchchchch

Beaver five and beaver six, show us all your beaver sticks

[past conquests, perhaps?]

chchchchchchchchchchchch

Beaver six and beaver seven, let's all go to beaver heaven

[where is this, exactly? the playboy mansion?Ah the old beaver home...]

chchchchchchchchchchchch

Beaver eight and beaver nine

STOP - It's BEAVER TIME

[I have nothing to say]

[enter bad booty shaking]

Comments

[Julie]

I need the tune to that Beaver song, please. I think we need a few rounds of that one over here.

[bridgermama]

pssst...love your new site (forgot to mention it earlier)!

[Lisa B]

That was so hysterical. I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes. I needed that. THANKS.

[TB]

Awesome! I'm going to sing that song to my husband tonight.

Strangely, I do know what music therapy is. My best girlfriend here in Columbus has a Masters in music therapy. Now that she is raising her kids, she's giving lessons, but was working in therapy for several years. It seems like such an amazing way to incorporate something you love with really rewarding work.

[Dawn]

"What did you see" was sung to the "Drunken Sailor" tune - Wasn't it? Huh? huh? I knew it was.

Yeah, Thank god preschoolers think all singing adults are awesome. I do a mean "Grey Squirrel, Grey Squirrel - Shake your bushy tail".

But how did the teachers get through without peeing themselves?

[Belle]

Hi! Just here from the Crazy/Hip Blog Mamas ring. Congrats on MotW!

I was reading your Mississippi stories....they caught my eye because I'm originally from Water Valley, lived in Batesville and Oxford, and attended Ole Miss.

Now I'm in a tiny town in Alabama right outside Huntsville. Heh, and I work for a Target store part time :)

[stefanierj]

Hmm, beaver sticks...didn't someone recommend http://babeland.com for those on another one of your posts?

[Kristina]

Thanks I needed that. I am a HS English teacher and I tell you, this is by far the best thing I have read from a student! LOL

[knq]

The sad thing - it's kind of catchy.

And PS - me with the girl who was blind - I totally kept asking her and she kept saying...

CLOUDS... AW... I was like CLOUDS? how about a train? or a bike? LOL

And she was like

CLOUDS...

I felt sooooooooooooooooo awful.

But it's not as bad as this one student at the nursing home who asked this man (without feet) if he wanted some socks as his bingo prize...

[Mrs. Davis]

So are you going to tell this student that a beaver might not be the best choice of animal for this song? Or can you do that without coming across as inappropriate? OMG, I would have been DYING if I had to watch that from behind the mirror! Excuse me now while I go gather my beaver sticks. Bahahaha....

[mrsfortune]

Dang!!! Hilarious. :) Loved it... maybe it can go on the next "Kidz Bop" album. Kidz Bop 69. hahaha.

[chelle]

hehehe that is so funny! I can just see a kid going home singing that!!
chelle

[C.M.Chase]

*gasp*

Hhahahaha! I'm, for once in my life, speechless.

[Mom101]

"Show us what your beavers do..."

Laughing so hard! At least it wasn't "show us all your beaver tricks" which would have made for another kind of show entirely.

[Jess R]

*sigh* I'm still laughing.

"What did you see on the way to music?" *giggle*

Oh, and then the topper: The Beaver Song.

Hehehehe. *sigh*

[chichimama]

OMG. Double snort. Snoted out my diet soda actually. I'll be laughing all day. Thank you-

[bridgermama]

HA! So funny! Thank goodness little ones are pretty innocent at this age, having no idea that the lovable wood gnawing creature can mean something so completely different!

[Jaime]

Hysterical! Maybe that song should have been entered into the "toddlerpornspeak" contest!

[Christina]

...and I have this bad image stuck in my head of a bunch of beavers doing a "hammer time" booty shake.

What was the kid thinking?

[Christina]

*snort* hahahaha!

These are the same students who, when younger, wrote the crazy things about Mozart that I put on my blog, right?