I have been sucked in, for good reason, by Mrs. Fortune, who is trying to get us all to embarrass ourselves with our poetic masterpieces of days gone by. In layperson's terms, she wants us to share our crappy teenage-angst poetry.
Now, while I did write good ode-to-my-shitty-life poems every now and then, most of mine were in the form of song. Yes, up until very recently, I actually used to write songs, play guitar, and sing at bars. But, the late nights and smoky bars became a bit much. Plus, it's really hard to write songs when you aren't getting screwed over by a stupid asshole boyfriend.
And, while my rousing renditions of "Mama Said Poop It Out" ala LLCoolJ and "2foot2, full of poo..." are quite a hit with the little one, I'm not quite sure they'd go over so well in even the best of Mississippi Bars.
So, while I did write a few songs worthy of an audience, I pulled out my this-shall-never-see-the-dim-light-of-a-dingy-bar song just for you.
Faker*
(Think loud thrashing guitar, angst-ridden 20-something)
V1: You can read a book, not my body
Tune up baby, and open up your eyes
Screaming ain't the key to happiness I was told
This shit you are giving me is getting fucking old
lalalalalala yeah...
Ch: So, what's mister big man gonna do?
Shot down with a rifle that's loaded with the truth
Take your mirror, get back on your horse
Cuz baby your love is like a curse
lalalalalalala yeah yeah
V2: Don't touch me, just go touch yourself
The pleasure I'm needing is something that you've never felt
You don't know what you're missing, you're in your own world
Let me wake you up cuz you ain't doing it for this girl.
*Alternate titles:
I need a rabbit.
You suck in bed, you dig?
Angry chic music! I love it. Too cool.
Posted by: Lisa B | March 21, 2006 at 10:12 PM
Dude, you were more like Ani DiFranco. Nice work.
Posted by: TB | March 21, 2006 at 09:52 PM
p.s. -- I added a comment to Reluctant Housewife's post with a link to my old journal entries if you're interested.
Posted by: Nancy | March 21, 2006 at 08:51 PM
LOVE - IT. But I really want to hear the lyrics to "Mama Said Poop It Out."
Posted by: Nancy | March 21, 2006 at 08:50 PM
Oh yeah, i'm liking it, Love the rabbit title too!!!
Posted by: debambam | March 21, 2006 at 08:05 PM
I thought that was a pretty good song. I mean, shit and shinola, if Hillary Duff can do it - I would MUCH rather hear the rabbit song
Posted by: Dawn | March 21, 2006 at 07:16 PM
I have no idea. Hee.
Posted by: GIRLS GONE CHILD | March 21, 2006 at 06:02 PM
Dude, I can barely use my own cellphone. How the hell do I do the audio post?
Posted by: Kristen | March 21, 2006 at 03:56 PM
That is wicked fresh. I wish you could audio that shit and perform it live from MU.
Posted by: GIRLS GONE CHILD | March 21, 2006 at 02:34 PM
I vote for audioposting!!!
Posted by: Jayne | March 21, 2006 at 02:31 PM
Ouch for the lyrically bitch-slapped one!! I hope you actually sang this for him.
Good stuff.
Posted by: stefanierj | March 21, 2006 at 12:55 PM
Ohhhhh, fantastic! That is SO Alanis! Reading this makes me wish I could dig up the lyrics to songs my husband wrote back in college. All I can remember is "Paintings in red blood fade away...." Gack.
Posted by: Mrs. Davis | March 21, 2006 at 12:41 PM
Laughing so hard right now. That line, "Don't touch me, just go touch yourself" I just said that to the poor hubs a few hours ago. Heehee.
Glad to read your poetry. You still inspire! Hee hee.
Posted by: Redneck mommy | March 21, 2006 at 11:23 AM
Shot down with a rifle that's loaded with the truth....
Pure poetry.
Posted by: Mom101 | March 21, 2006 at 10:53 AM
Fucking brilliant, babe. THIS (among many other things) is the reason I used to call you my "MS idol".
Posted by: Hill | March 21, 2006 at 09:31 AM
my favourite line by far: "Don't touch me, just go touch yourself"
hehehehe.
Posted by: krista | March 21, 2006 at 08:18 AM
OMG Kristen I am laughing so hard. You were like Chrissy Hynde meets Dr. Seuess! (And btw, this was RH's idea, not mine!!!)
Posted by: mrsfortune | March 21, 2006 at 08:11 AM
Ha ha!
I added yours to the list.
*ahem*
Posted by: reluctant housewife | March 20, 2006 at 10:57 PM