Alternate Title: The Blogging Mommy Wars
Do you write a mom blog or a mommy blog? Apparently there’s a difference. I was informed of this the other day during my boredom-induced massive blog-reading fest. I thought that I was aware of all the appropriate cultural terminology. Obviously, I was incorrect.
I guess I hadn’t really thought of it that much since I’m somewhat focused on, um, childrearing. Let’s face it. I’m lucky if I can make it out of the house with make-up, clean underwear, and matching socks.
But, after reading the posts I have given the idea a bit more thought. And really, I’m not sure I get it. Is being a mommy blogger that more offensive than being a mom blogger? And just for the record, I’m actually a 'mama' blogger, so I’m not sure if my opinion really counts.
I’ve always associated the mother moniker with age. Young moms always seemed to be called mommy by their littles ones; as they got older, they dropped the my. But, leave it to humans (particularly women) to use a word to marginalize a particular group of people. That is what we do, isn’t it?
I gather that mommy blogger represents some apron wearing, rubber-stamping freak, who blogs about her cute perfect children without coming up for air. She wears high-waisted jeans with a sweatshirt and turtleneck, and her hair is something right out of an 80’s magazine. She drives a *gulp* minivan, participates in every school bake sale, and leaves little love notes in her kids’ lunches. She reads McCalls, Redbook, and romance-suspence novels. Her life is her kids and her husband, and so is her blog.
And she pisses us off.
What is it, though, that we really loathe? Is it that she denies her womanhood for her family – that she perpetuates a “false” image of motherhood that puts pressure on us? I mean, I agree that high-waisted jeans and turtlenecks are inexcusable, but I’m not sure it’s enough for me to say “No, I’m a MOM blogger, thank you very much.” And while I’m not necessarily inclined to read blogs that are of the dear diary/daily event-of-my-life kind, I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with them.
If you look at my blog explosion profile, my selling point is that I’m revolutionizing the mommy blog. I have high hopes. Hell, my alternate tag line is “No More Mrs. Nice Mom.” And, I’m listed in the Just for Women category NOT the kid/mom blog section. So, it’s obvious that I do know the difference between those blogs and what I’m trying to write. However, my point was never to separate myself from the massive number of mother-type blogs out there, but rather to find my own little niche within the generally very inclusive group – or so I thought.
While I don’t feel that women should have to give up their womanhood when they become a mother, and should seriously consider stepping into 2006 with slightly lower-waisted bootcut jeans, a nice layered haircut, and a v-neck t-shirt, I’m not going to separate myself from those that choose not to do so.
So why are we starting another mini Mommy War (or should I say bake-off, Mrs. Fortune?)? All this fucking in-fighting does nothing for us as women. I’m not going to get into a huge socio-cultural discussion about the whole thing. Quite simply, it makes sense for folks of a similar cultural membership (aka woman and motherhood) to identify with a more specific group of folks, but, the whole disdain for the other group, like it’s annoying or even insulting to be associated with them just doesn’t make sense.
However, it doesn’t surprise me.
Haven’t you thought that maybe the mom'my's wouldn’t mind a little help finding their old self? – and maybe us not-so-moms or slash/moms could benefit from just a little shot of sentimentality and applique sweaters every now and then?
Simply put, there’s a bigger battle out there to be fought. There’s nothing that can bring a group of people together like childbirth. We all have something in common – something great that is shared. So, call me mom, mommy, or bitch with a baby. We’re way stronger as a unified group.
Save the caddy shit for real life.