In Response to Lisa Guest at PatrickDempsey.org

Dear Ms. Guest:

I appreciate your concern regarding my recent encounter with Patrick Dempsey. I am the certain Motherhood Uncensored that you speak of - and yes, I am, in fact, a woman (glad you caught your mistake as I'm pretty sure no one would have figured that out).

Just when I thought no one had actually read or really cared about my Patrick Dempsey posts, there you are, reprinting my entire post for your fellow message board readers. Granted, I get a fair share of visitors looking for McDreamy, however I can't really offer them more than a couple of juicy stories.

And while at times it felt as though Mr. Dempsey was truly in my presence, particularly on my celebratory test ride *ahem* of the great "rabbit pearl" a few lonely nights ago, I am sad to report that, alas, I have never ever had a real life encounter with Patrick. However, I'm flattered that you thought my story believable enough to question its validity.

So, fear not, you still have a chance. And apparently, I'm in the wrong profession. I'll be calling a book agent tomorrow. So, thank you, Ms. Guest. The pleasure has been all mine. You'll be the first to receive an autographed copy of my new novella "The Patrick Dempsey Encounters."

Sincerely,

Motherhood Uncensored

Comments

[brielle]

I love derek and merediths relationship together. Though the "dempsey fans" are sitting in front of their television, jaws touching the ground getting lower and lower as the episodes get hotter with more relationship. Though I AM one of those "dempsey fans", a big one to say the least, I don't take the show TOO seriously.... kind of, haha! Anyway their relationship is so cute how they act around eachother; derek being flirty and acting like they're married or some sort, and meredith acting like nothings happining, playing hard to get or something!!

[Chase]

There's NO way this story could have been real. Duuhhhh. I mean, honestly, does anyone think you can fit those hobbit feet into Manolos??

;)

[Kristen]

The rabbit pearl? That's what I call his "thing" --

hehe.

Oh honey the rabbit pearl was amazing tonight.

[Lucinda]

Wow. I wouldn't have known about the rabbit pearl if I hadn't been reading the running commentary on it on this site.

The question is, does your husband know about the rabbit pearl????

[dazed]

I love the rabbit pearl. Love. It. Oh and PD too.

[Kristenq]

Um. Thanks Izzy. It's because I'm an amazing writer LOL (just kidding).

And it's [rabbit pearl] simply...

Orgasmic.

How lame - I know...

[Dawn]

So....what WERE your thoughts of the Rabbit Pearl ( and mine is plain old pink).

I feel so happy for you!!

[Izzy]

I knew about the rabbit pearl and I knew about the PD stories (emphasis on the word STORIES) but I did NOT know there was a patrickdempsey.org

I'm not going to knock a fan site. I get the whole devoted fan thing. I guess my question is how could they not know it was fiction. HELLO?

[Sunshine Scribe]

That was perfect! And who knew there was a PATRICK DEMPSEY message board??

Let us know when the book comes out :)

[joy]

ok--all this rabbit pearl talk has got me crossing my legs. especially the "mine's purple" statement. rabbit pearl--whassat? i guess i must do some research.

good job on the literary skill, Mr Motherhood Uncensored.

[Becky]

Patrick Dempsey and the Pearl all in one..you rock!!!

[TB]

This is fucking classic! Classic! She seemed outraged by your tale, personally affronted even.
I love it!

[Redneck mommy]

Wow. Really, what more is there to say when you cover the ole Rabbit Pearl and McDreamy in one post. Nice job, chicky!

[Noelle]

Of course you can. And why the hell not?

[Kristen]

Don't worry, Lisa. I didn't know what a rabbit pearl was either. God knows where I'd find the time (or privacy) to use it. Kristen-that was too funny. The writing was very good, though I'm pretty sure I was with Dempsey that night, so I knew you were full of it. ;>

[Her Bad Mother]

Next? Seems you've already started it.

Now, would that novel be all about Patrick? Or would be more Motherhood Uncensored Does Hollywood? You know, a different munchable each chapter?

[Kristenq]

So who cares about everything else, the question is CAN I WRITE THE NEXT AMERICAN MOM ROMANCE NOVEL? I'm not kidding.

:)

[GIRLS GONE CHILD]

Wow. I totally believed it. You got me, bitch. Damn you and your genius!

[Julie]

Oh the humanity. It would be fucking hilarious if it weren't so sad.

What DO you think of the rabbit?

[Alyssa]

omg! :rofl:

Somebody must really think you are a greeeaaat fiction writer now. Hehehe..

Rabbit Pearl eh? I always thought you were a "bullet" kinda gal. ROFL!!!! Sorry I couldn't resist ahhahaha!

[Hillary]

So...I suppose writing down all of my Jake Gyllenhaal fantasies and publishing them on my blog is a BAD idea?

Damnit!! =)

[Mom101]

I'm on Amazon, trying to put in an advance order for your novel but apparently you're not able to do that until the book has actually been published. Darn it all.

[krista]

Hilarious. Well at least you can know you are a convincing writer. Haha.

[J.]

Yeesh. Some people...

[fidget]

you could title it "A Million Little Patricks"

[Her Bad Mother]

Two days in a row of Motherhood Uncensored writing talent smackdown! Clearly, you rule blogging - but parody and fiction, too? Triple threat.

So, um, maybe you could combine these. Maybe write an HBM-meets-Patrick fantasy? (Or, HBM meets John Cusack?) You know, to flex your writing muscles.

[mama_tulip]

I like the dolphin with the rotating head, personally.

[jess]

Ah yes, the rabbit pearl. Mine's purple.

[Lisa]

Wow. There's a Patrick Dempsey message board. Um. Wow.

On another note, he was totally cheating on me and my Rabbit Pearl! That's hot!

[Lisa B]

You know, if writing "letters to Penthouse" paid, I think you'd make some serious cash.

Oh and I learned something tonight. I had to google to Rabbit pearl. How pathetic and dorky am I?