This Meme is Gonna Get You...

Sheesh. Even Amalah did this one. It's moving like rapid fire throughout the blogosphere and alas, I've been tagged by Five lovely ladies. So, here are 6 REALLY good ones (or at least I like to think so):

1. Those were NOT a picture of my feet in the last post. I actually have really nice feet people - I've even gotten several "nice feet" as pick up lines in bars. It never worked , mainly because I'm not into women, except Angelina - maybe.

2. I used to dance with a ballet company. I could stand in a doorway on one leg with the other one on the top of the doorway. (For those of you trying to picture this, it's a big split...). I am, however, one of the clumsiest people I know.

3. I dated a Rhodes Scholar in college. He was a mennonite so he was not allowed to dance, but he could hump my leg. I always thought that at some point he would "move over." He never did. It took me way too long to figure that out.

4. Until I was about 17, I thought oral sex was when you talked doing it with your girlfriend/boyfriend. I used to look it up in the dictionary because I had a feeling that just wasn't right.

5. I was a veggie and then vegan for about 8 years. KFC broke me the first time and the 2nd time was hot dogs. I have a love/hate relationship with processed meat.

6. I have a 35 inch inseam. It's hard to find pants. And I look horrific in elastic waist ANYTHING. I really tried the whold umbros thing back in 1991. Very very bad.

Consider yourself tagged (I'm going big - plus everyone I know has already done this one):

Dooce, Alice, & BusyMom

Comments

[Busy Mom]

I finally did it!

[Mommy-off-the-Record]

I'm trying hard to be a veggie right now myself. My weaknesses are salami and prociuitto, but I've been "clean" for a year. Woohoo!

[Lisa]

I'm sure I could come up with a decent response if I wasn't laughing my ass off right now! The leg-humping-mennonite will have me laughing for days!

[Redneck mommy]

Number four is just plain, laugh your ass off funny. Just the other day, I heard a couple of eleven year olds trying to decide what oral sex was. According to them a blow job is where one person has to breathe heavy in the other person's ear. If that were true, my hubby would be getting blow jobs every day!

[nonlineargirl]

You were a dancer and yet you have nice feet? How did you do that?

[Mrs. Chicky]

duh, I meant "image" not "imagine". Its time to put down the wine, Mrs. Chicky.

[Mrs. Chicky]

The former Catholic in me is thinking Oral Sex = Phone Sex... And don't even get me started on blow jobs.

btw, I'd like to thank you for getting the imagine of a mennonite humping anyone's leg stuck in my head.

[Christina]

#4 is awesome. I thought you could get pregnant by kissing all through elementary school.

And I'm laughing my ass off at Stone Cold Creamery. Wrestlers and ice cream - ooh yeah!

[Her Bad Mother]

Ditto on the oral sex. For a ridiculously long time. Cuz I believed *everything* my mother told me.

I got her back, tho, years later, when she and my dad split up, and she became, um, 'active' again after over 25 years of marriage. She asked me what a hand job was (they were Catholic, people - they kept it clean), and I told her that it was a 'sexy' manicure. To the best of my knowledge, she never asked for one at a salon.

Oh, and on getting words/names mixed up? There's a sort of screwdriver that is apparently called a Stubby (Husband is handy). It's a cute little thing, I like it, and I have always called it a Chubby. Which causes Husband much embarassment in Home Depot. "Are we looking for a Chubby?" "Will you need a Chubby for that job?" You get the picture.

[Pattie (Domesticator)]

I'm with you on the KFC thing...but only if it's the crispy kind. Of course, every time I eat it, I feel sick after...doesn't seem to stop me, though.

[something blue]

That was a fun read. I love finding out what makes us all Special.

Can't believe dirty bird broke you. I'm just not that into meat, but the smell of steak on the BBQ gets me every time.

[Sunshine Scribe]

Great list!

I was sure oral sex was analagous to french kissing!

As a veggie now I can tell ya that I can't go in a KFC for fear of caving!!!

[Kristen]

WTF - Like am I total idiot.

JOY JOY JOY JOY.

I have no idea why I want to call you Gina.

Okay - fuck it. I'm just calling you that.

I should have put that I do tend to call things by the wrong name. Like Cold Stone Creamery I call Stone Cold.

Consider yourself special.

[Kristen]

Oh Gina - Ye of little faith. Dooce will do it. Oh yes she will.

Okay - enough with my delusions.

[joy]

those stupid, sexy mennonites and their leg-humping. why do they do it?

sorry, could not think of anything else. this is the meme that will not die... well, you did just tag dooce, so maybe we're ok.;-)

[Noelle]

Number 4 is priceless! Along the same lines, I knew what oral sex was, but thought that "oral contraceptives" had something to do with it: "But if you can't get pregnant from oral sex, why would you need a contraceptive?"

[chelle]

Thank goodness those were not your feet!! ewww!

[Kristen]

I was a veggie from the time I was in 8th grade until 19 or 20- I can't remember which- and FRIED CHICKEN BROKE ME TOO! How funny!

[mrsfortune]

#5 - are you serious? I thought I was the only lame-o that craved KFC and hot dogs during my veggie phases! Rock on!

[Kristen]

Since I was tagged 5 times, I was thinking of doing 30. Since I've way more than 6 - but alas, that's way too much for my readers at one time.

Can't wait to read it BusyMom.

[Busy Mom]

I just have to narrow it down to six things...

[Nancy]

LMAO at numbers 3 and 4!! (can just hear you thinking, move over dammit!)

I think Dooce did this one, but you might get Alice. Good luck!

[Eden]

I was the same w/ #4 in HS. Someone once said, "Can you get pregnant from oral sex?" I gave an indignant, "Of course not!" She said, "Are you sure?" I said, "How can you get pregnant by talking? Jeesh."

/idiot

[mama_tulip]

Number four is KILLING ME. LMAO.