It seems the web meanies (or blogtards) have been making their rounds. Even with my posts on popping butts and kid leashes, both of which I was able to include porno pictures (always my favorite way to piss-off the random visitor), I haven't really gotten hit that hard. Granted, I have been called judgmental (for which, I hate to break it to you people, I AM), and a *gasp* yankee (again, TOTALLY a YANKEE - remember us, abolished slavery?), but really, it's been pretty tame.
However, it seems the posts on the South seem to get under peoples' skin. And sure, I get it. You are not all idiots drinking lemonade on your beat up porch with 14 dogs and a washing machine sitting on bricks. I get that. But, I'm not talking about your South people. I'm talking about mine. And mine deserves to get bashed. Hard.
Here's what this brilliant commenter, ironically named "bumblefuck" had to say about my post on Mississippi:
Yes, you live in the middle of fucking nowhere. I take it from the swift glance of your blog that your job has some connection with Mississippi State. If you must drive through Reform, you're on Highway 15, and I'm guessing you live in either Louisville or Ackerman. I'm from MS (yes, I know the abbreviation) and I went to school at MSU, but my hometown is nowhere near that area. You say Mississippi sucks but you really are in the worst part of the state. Your blog should be called "Why This Area of Mississippi Sucks." Every state has its good parts and bad parts. You just happen to live in the bad part. I suggest you explore the state a little more. Jackson and it's suburbs offer more of the east-coast jive that you crave (though I gather all you really want is somewhere to shop), and north MS is pretty "up-to-date," as is the coast (pre-Katrina). I love it when people come from big yankee cities to MS and complain about how much it sucks.
So, let me just say this dear bumblefuck. Not only did you incorrectly guess where I live, but you also mistakenly pointed out that my part of the state is "up-to-date." I won't go into how I still got offered an enema and shave at my birth, or how I had to stay in the general medical wing of the hospital because they only had 2 labor and delivery suites that you had to, in fact, pay extra for - not because they were awesomely fancy, but because they had more room.
If they are so up-to-date, why, when I finally found a store that carried Jumbo Shells did the manager of the store say "Wow, thems is really big macaronis."? Or when I asked for soy milk in my coffee, the lovely barista (that's being generous) asked me what animal that came from.
And for the record, it is obvious to me that you have never been outside of Mississippi because no one in their right mind would ever say that suburbs of any town in this state (even Oxford or Jackson) has an east-coast jive. That's seriously insulting the east coast - and while there may be shit trashy areas of New Jersey, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts that would make anyone cry for their mother, I can assure that NONE of them are as bad as your not-so-fair state, regardless of how great the suburbs of your capital city may be.
Since you are quite uncertain as to what an east coast jive actually is, let me take this moment to enlighten you:
Drive the fucking speed limit, finish a sentence in less than an hour, and don't call me maam. I'm sure you can come up with something a bit more creative. Or then again, maybe not.