I admit to enjoying a hearty laugh from some of your tales of mommy misfortune. You know, lipstick wall art, tupperware excavating, and my favorite, the ever popular bathtub poopy. But if there's anything I should have learned from my luck as of late, it's best to keep the lips zipped and the laughing to the idiots on America's Funniest Home Videos. Because you never know when you're going to be fishing poop out of a tub chock full of plastic toys and foam alphabet letters.
And so, there it was. The husband called to me from the bathroom.
"Hey hon, you've got to see this. She's farting in the tub and bubbles are coming out of her ass."
Nice. But wait. My baby's blowing ass bubbles and I wasn't about to miss it.
But then. I heard it.
"Oh no. She's pooping. Damnit."
I'm not sure why I kept running towards the tub, but I figured I could at least fish her out so that I avoid the other fishing.
It was pretty bad. Turds floating amidst weird word combinations like "cmfarn" and "dijsog." I slapped her on the toilet and he donned a makeshift glove formed out of a plastic shopping bag, grabbing turds as quickly as he could.
After a few chuckles, we figured it was almost inevitable. Like sleepless nights, and sore breasts, pooping in the tub was just par for the course. We had made it. Another parenting rite of passage to check off the list.
And hey, you have to admit, it definitely beats the shit *ahem* out of bobbing for apples.