Why Do You Comment?

I admit that my commenting has been extremely subpar these days. I took a break from it on my vacation and I've been slow to get back to it. And while I read about 65 blogs, plus writing almost the same (okay, I'm exaggerating, but you get my point), it's getting to be a little overwhelming.

Then Izzy's post got me thinking. You know. People read and they comment. Then they expect you to come back and do the same - with the hopes that you get hooked on them, add them to your blogroll, and run off together to the Cayman Islands. Heh. But then, they either don't come back, or they come back and comment once. And you realize. Maybe they're not that into me.

It sucks, but you get over it. Or do you?

So, do you stop reading them altogether? I mean, did you just read their blog just because you wanted them to come back to read yours? And because they don't read yours, you won't read theirs?

Hey. I get it. You want some readers and so you leave a comment. It's how I find new blogs - through clicking back in my comments. And I have done and still do the same at other blogs. However, it seems like it's bad etiquette if you don't click back and leave a comment - like interweb eyes start a-rolling. And you hear the "getting to big for your britches" type sentiments.

So, why do you comment? I mean. What's your motivation? Does every post you read speak to you enough that you need to say something, or are you motivated by something else? Like empathy (I like comments so maybe they do too), potential readership (maybe they'll click back if I comment), or potential hits (maybe the other commenters will peruse the comments and click to me).

Would you rather have someone read you a lot and not comment much ala lurker-chic, or someone who reads you based on clickbacks and your comments, and just comments on your blog to get you to come back?

Are comments really what blogging is about? Are they essential to your blogging existence?

C'mon. Spill the beans.

Comments

[Jacob]

Good site

[Beverly]

I just like to comment because I am social and enjoy conversation. I guess I forget that not every comment leads to a conversation, though... *grin* I just do it when I want to, and that's that. :)

[KC]

I've thought about this same question before and was going to post about it, actually, so there goes that idea.

I comment because I like what I read. I relate. Or I like your writing style. Or I thought of something witty enough to leave a footprint of my visit. Or you're my friend. And sometimes, I do comment because I want greater exposure.

Especially when starting out, I think commenting can be your only springboard. Otherwise, it can be difficult finding that specific audience who finds your blog utterly perfect.

[Mommy off the Record]

Wow! 110 comments! So I guess one good way to GET comments is to write a post about comments. LOL. :)

[Melba]

I found your blog through Krista (the silent K) I didn't read the 109 comments that came before me.

I comment for several reasons:

1. If someone asked a question and I know the answer (or have an opinion on their question)

2. For encouragement; especially for weekly challenges like Illustration Friday. If I don't know the blogger I usually leave something short and specific I liked about their work.

3. There are my blogging friends that I read every day and usually will comment on every post because it is like we are having a conversation we each other.

4. When some one's post really moves me I comment.

There are definately blogs I read everyday because they are interesting, but I don't want to start a comment relationship with.

I am commenting here because of reason #1!

[Mark P.]

Great questions raised in your post. We've all gotten comments like, "very interesting" or "great post." Wondering if they even read your blog. I will admit that I want people to read my blog, and this is a way to accomplish that. So I guess I'll see you at my blog. Bring your friends. I'm not a comment whore though. I only leave comments when I like at least some aspect of the post. Happy blogging.

[Mama Mia]

I comment because a particular post has made a strong impression on me, or because I happen to be in a talkative mood. I don't comment to get more readers, but I am delighted when that does happen. :)

[Dana]

To echo Lisa's sentiments over at Blogher; I think each blogger can decide their own etiquette. I read a lot of blogs, but I honestly just don’t have the time to comment as much as I’d like to, which sucks. I have to kids to wrangle, a family business, plus my workload to manage. I do make a real effort to comment if a post has struck a chord, if the person is someone I would party with, or sometimes to throw in my 2c. I like comments on my site because I like the interaction – one of the reasons I began blogging was because I stay home and motherhood, much like writing, is often a solitary pursuit. It’s good feedback and all writers need it, whether they realize it or not. I try to remember that with regards to others.
If given a choice, I would rather be read by someone who identified with or was entertained by a post as opposed to a social climber who could care less.
As far one commenting because they want traffic, I think that kinda does a disservice to blogging in general. Good writing gets traffic period. To try to bypass that makes it harder for readers and hurts legitimacy. Maybe a bit hyperbolic, but look what happened in the music industry.

[Karla]

Good post. I read ALOT of blogs but I don't comment on all of them. I don't comment on them to get comments on mine. I don't care that much. I find blogs that I like by people who I consider to be similar to myself (mostly, a Mom). I usually will only start commenting if something really strikes me or if I've felt I've lurked long enough LOL

[Heidi]

I read, but don't always comment. I actually have 425 new posts to read in my bloglines right now. It's killing me.

Naturally, I LOVE to get comments on my blog, and I've noticed that my comments cut back when I'm not commenting, so I'm sure there's a correlation.

However, if I don't immediately think of something relevant to say in regards to a post, I just move on. Everybody I read eventually says something to which I have a response.

So eventually you all get to hear my opinionated rants!

[Stacy]

I try to comment as much as possible because I want the person to know that I was there and that I agreed/disagreed with what they said. I also love getting comments for the same reason. To feel like someone is out there listening. How am I suppose to know you stopped by unless you leave a note? Sometimes I comment so that maybe I'll grab a few new readers myself but not always. And I do take it personal when my readers fluctuate. I wonder what I've done to turn them off. But I'm starting to realize more and more that we are all just busy. As moms, we've got a lot going on and it's hard to juggle it all. I think Izzy was also the one who wrote about not posting for a day or two only to find out that her blog DID survive ~ that her readers didn't disappear if she missed a day. I try my best and I love the people who come see me regularly. I couldn't ask for a better virtual support system so I try not to be greedy!!

[Lisa]

What number am I here? 5,674? ;-)

I have become the ultimate comment slack-whore. I can blame it on the store and the kids being home for the summer, but honestly it's more that I hate the politics of it all. I liked living in my little happy place that consisted of people commenting on my blog because they liked what I had to say. Now, with all this comment debate going on in the blogosphere it has me all paranoid, like a cocaine addict staring out the peephole watching for the cops. I don't want to think that people comment on my blog because I've commented on theirs, or they want me to comment on theirs, or *gulp* it's a pity comment. GAH!

I comment if I feel like I have something to add, or agree with a post, which in some cases means I was actually able to make it through reading the post. I hope others do the same, it's nice when they do, but I don't find it essential.

[chilihead]

I'm a lurker. I read you just about every day, but I don't know that I've ever left a comment. I don't expect people to come to my blog if I leave a comment. I don't click onto every person that comments to me, either. If a post speaks to me, I'll leave a comment. If not or I don't have anything to add, I skip the comment. Plus, I'm just ridiculously lazy.

[Nancy]

See, normally I try to read the post AND all the comments, but I didn't make it through this entire list... ;-)

With my best blogging buds (the number of which has gotten huge) I do try to read every post and comment on as many as possible. Unfortunately I am now in a perpetual Bloglines backlog because of this... but I digress.

I leave the comments to let the people know that I "hear them" -- I try to find a way to connect depending on what they write about.

I used to hop around and read new blogs and comment where I felt a connection to a particular blogger -- that's how I discovered at least some of the blogs on my blogroll (by commenting first.) Now I pretty much read only the sites of bloggers who I have an "active relationship" with -- who I talk to off-blog, who regularly comment on my site, or who I'm just drawn to because their writing is so excellent.

I have a similar post on blogrolls brewing, just have to get it all processed.

[mo-wo]

I comment for lots of reasons. Varies by blog -- the state of their blog and the state of my own.

But let me say this... The best comment I have ever given was my first one to Sarah at sarahandthegoonsquad... I was without words for a couple months reading her. I ultimately made this my comment. 'I'm speechless'.. A version of Amen and yer smart! Silly tho' it is this is really my favorite comment.

besides its all the sitemeter crap that really messes you up!

[MamaPajama]

Obviously a bit of an uncommitted lurker...and as always, late for the party. But I wanted to comment because of the fact that I do tend to be a bit of a lurker. There are a number of blogs I read regularly and am consistently entertained (or intrigued, or awe struck, or inspired, ad nauseum). I don't consistenly comment and I suppose that's simply a function of enjoying anonymity but when a post really makes me think, or ignites my empathy or concern or admiration, then I will comment. Sure, it's nice when a comment is 'rewarded' with a visit b that's not been the motivating factor. Usually, it's just a desire to express my appreciation for what someone else has said - often my very own thoughts with the small difference of coherence.

[Undercover Angel]

When I first started my blog in February I didn't have to worry about this, because I figured nobody would ever comment on my blog. Then, I started getting comments on my blog, and I started reciprocating - and I loved it! I am almost as addicted to commenting as I am to blogging.

Right now, the most comments I've received on posts are about 27 (except for Thursday Thirteen posts when I get considerably more). I still respond to each and every comment I recieve - I enjoy reading other blogs and always find that I have something to add to the conversation. I may not always be able to respond the same day - but I always respond within 2 or 3 days.

I also add the blog of everybody who comments on my blog to my BlogLines so I can keep up to date on their blog and leave them comments.

If I were in your position and recieved 60-90 comments on every post, I may not be able to continue with reciprocating the way I do right now - I think at that point reciprocating comments would become a full time job, and that would be hard to swing with all of the other things in my life, like my family...but I'll cross that bridge if I come to it, and figure something out hopefully.

[Busy Mom]

Nice blog! I agree! Me, too!

OK, kidding. I'm thinking I don't think enough about comments and commenting after reading this.

I value every comment I get, I admit I've gotten lazy about commenting since I've been using a feed reader. I enjoy the blogs I read regularly and I try to comment if I have something to say, plus, I like to comment on blogs I've stumbled upon just to say hello if they appeal to me.

[Aly]

Great post -- I love the way you posed this question.

I'm a relatively new blogger on the scene, and I must say that at the beginning I was a bit disheartened to recieve no comments.

I have my list of "faves" which is sort of small at the moment, seeing as I'm still starting out -- and yes, I will comment on those ones if the post reaches out to me and grabs my attention.

I'm still not getting many comments over at Ramblings.. but that's ok. It's MY blog, and the fact that I have people actually reading it is a compliment in itself, whether they leave a comment or not!

[Melissa]

I am not a huge commenter. Maybe I should be? But sometimes I really don't have anything exciting to bring to the table other than a hearty "Uh huh, yep!" Other times, the post just doesn't speak to me. Most of the time though, I'm just tired/busy/cranky and you can always consider me supremely lazy.

Yes, I should comment more. I adore comments on my site and I should really show my appreciation for the good writers out there. Including you!

[ktjrdn]

Wow, I have to go to sleep now, and don't have time to read all the somments above.

I comment usually because of what I read. I rarely leave a comment if I don't 1) feel moved by the post or 2) have something interesting to say or 3) am asked my opinion (like here)

I absolutely love comments on my blog though. (I always feel kinda like Steve Martin in The Jerk, when he sees his name in the phone book) I would love to know who's reading, and comments are the only way. That said, I don't feel commenting is required by Miss Manners or anything.

[Karen]

When I first began blogging...I did the comment to get comments game. It was exhausting...because once people started reading and commenting, I started to feel obligated to always return the comment even if I hated their journal, or didn't have anything relevant to say. It felt like a job...and then I started to feel as though I was writing for an audience and so I lost some of myself that way because I wanted to be sure I was entertaining. And somewhere along the way I started to measure my worth by the comments I received which felt bad.

So now...I comment when I feel I have something to say. I read a lot of blogs where I comment all the time and they have never once commented in mine and that's ok because I do not want someone to feel obligated to RETURN comments. There is always that voice in my head that says that it might be because they hate my blog...but I realize I am not everyone's cup of tea and move on.

I think we can all tell when someone is commenting because they feel they HAVE to comment. I'd prefer one meaningful comment to 50 of the other kind.

[Stacy]

OK. You just commented on my blog, so here's my comment. Tag, you're it!

Seriously though, I read lots of blogs too and and have pondered this comment etiquette myself.
I admit I think it’s about 50/50 with my commenting: Some of my comments are because I really have something to say, the rest are purely selfish. Notice me, notice me, NOTICE ME! Hey, I’m trying to sell a book here.

[Sydney]

You just inspired me to de-link some folks who I never read, but felt guilty about de-linking..... And don't feel required to comment on my blog, or read it unless you want to. I want people to read my blog because they LIKE it, not because they feel they have to. And if they want to stop, that's cool. It just means I need to make my writing more interesting.

[Amanda]

I read a lot of crafty blogs and I comment mainly to give encouragement and to compliment them on their designs.

[Kym]

I tend to be a lurker and I don't comment regularly on any blog. I often read things so late that there are already so many comments, I don't feel a need to leave a "Yeah, what she said!" I try to comment if I actually feel I have a point to make.

With that said, if I've been reading someone awhile, I do like to jump in just so you know that I'm here. Getting other people to at least visit my blog IS a nice by-product but isn't the reason I comment.

I don't think there is some sort of etiquette where you have to comment on every single post or where since I posted a comment on your blog, you have to comment on mine. If you like my stuff, comment. If not, whatever. Quite frankly, I get tired of seeing some of the same people comment every single day--they just seem like they're pimping their own blog at that point.

[liz]

I leave comments when I have something to say. Sometimes I go on reading the blog, and sometimes I don't.

If somebody from a blog I am not currently reading leaves a comment, I usually try to go back to their blog and say *something*.

As to deleting comments, on the whole I don't. I do edit comments that use language I don't allow on my blog--if I wouldn't want it said in my living room, I edit. But I make a notation of the edits.

Comments aren't essential to my blogging experience -- don't get me wrong, I do appreciate them.

[Stu Mark]

I comment because I want the world to see how smart I am. That last sentence brought to you by Stu's inner child. Was it too candid? I don't care. I *love* commenting, I love the thrill of having an audience, any audience. I want people to laugh, I want people to think, I want people to grow, and I want people to like me. Please and thank you.

[kittenpie]

I was reading and commenting before I even had a blog - I just like joining a conversation, hearing what other people have to say, putting in my piece.

Now that I have had a blog for a bit and have a small circle of blogs I really like, bloggers who feel like friends, I like to read their thoughts and let them know when I've dropped by too. It's not too often that I have nothing to say (heh.), and if not, then I don't bother.

[selzach]

I comment when something in a post really strikes me. The only time I find for surfing blogs is during lunch hour or breaktime, so mostly I lurk...so many great blogs, so little time.

I get very few comments on my blog. I'm not a stellar writer and I'm an infrequent poster, so I don't expect to attract readers. Sure, it hurts my feelings when people comment once and run, but if I find a blog I really like, I read it regardless.

P.S. I *really* like your blog, even though I hardly ever comment.

[jaelithe]

Um, I just comment when a post I read inspires me to say say something. When I read a particularly witty or moving post. When I empathize with what a person is saying because I have experienced similar. When I think I might actually have semi-useful advice for someone in need. When someone says something that pisses me off and I feel compelled to speak out. Times like that.

I try to click through to a commenter's blog every time I get a comment from someone new, mainly because I enjoy reading other peoples' blogs and I am always curious.

I've never left a comment just to try to increase traffic to my own site. I don't even look at the traffic on my site. I suppose I might look if I had ads.

[mama_tulip]

Holy crap, 82 comments? I feel so late in the game here.

I comment because I want to. Because the post I read makes me feel like I have something to say, whether it be of a personal nature or a funny, light-hearted nature. If it's a subject that I don't want to comment on, I don't. I don't feel pressured to comment. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I want to but I get distracted, you know?

There are a couple of blogs that I read and comment on that the author doesn't comment on my site. That's okay. I'm cool with that. And I've always thought that people who read my blog will comment if they can and want to and won't if they don't want to or can't.

[Sylvie]

I usually only comment when I have something to say, sort of relate to a post or if someone refers me to the blog I like to say why I stopped by.

[Her Bad Mother]

I comment because I love feeling part of whatever discussion is going on, assuming that I'm interested in it, which I usually am, because I'm a conversation whore. Often I have something to contribute; other times I just love the talking and want to chime in.

I also try to comment as much as I can with those who I consider 'friends,' or with whom I'd like to become friends. As it goes, though, that's turning into pretty much everybody because everybody that I come across is pretty freakin' smart/funny/cool/all-of-the-above. But lately I've been lagging, because I got behind after the Royal Tour, and then WonderBaby turned into turbo-baby, and there are tons of commenters that I'm dying to get back too. Feeling like a bit of a shmuck about it, actually.

But I think that regardless of why we leave comments, the comments matter, for better or for worse. A couple of months ago I did a post that did not get a single comment and it gutted me. I obsessed: why why why? Had I said something stupid? Oh god - offended someone? Come off as one of those bloggers that a few people have said here that they don't like? Twisted, maybe, but when you know that people - even one or two - are listening to you 'speak', you need to at least get a nod or a um-mm. Or you wonder if there's something wrong with you. I never want anyone to feel that way. So I try to make it clear as often as I can, that I'm listening.

[Lisa B]

I read most blogs because I like them. I love getting comments but if some people don't comment back, that's ok.

But I check out a new person, comment several times and never hear a reply and they are so-so, I don't go back to them.

But it is really nice when you read someone and they check you out/comment in return. I try to do that if new people check out my site.

[krista]

Oh wait, they are gone now, maybe it was a fluke.

[krista]

Oh wait, they are gone now, maybe it was a fluke.

[krista]

Agh! There are ads in your comments section?

[Candice]

I'm more of a lurker usually.. I'm definitely not a compulsive commenter.. & I definitely don't feel any pressure to be so.. how shallow..

Commenting for me is like thrifting.. if I see something that appeals to me I'm so there!

[greensunflower]

I started doing it because I realized how much I LOVED comments, but then realized that an added bonus was it was returned in kind... so I guess both.

[andy]

I think new bloggers like to see evidence that people are reading there blogs. I think once you get used to the 40 comment posting you know you have readers comments r not and it doesn't really matter. I throw blog etiquette out the window. I don't think you need to comment on another blog just because they commented on yours. Shoot, email if you want. Reasons why I comment: I like what you wrote, I feel like I can contribute, Answer a question, let you know I am participating in some community, or just to let you know I am still reading.

In my mind readers work this way. You post. They comment. You acknowledge their contact. You all participate in some side conversation (perhaps this relates to the post or other blog content). The connection is made and hopefully it lasts. There needs to be a sense of discovery and connection... if not, its just a post and probably doesn't need anymore action.

[Chase]

I also wanted to add...if I'm moved by something, I will leave a comment, regardless if it has 100 comments already or not. I put myself in that situation - if *I* wrote a post was good enough to garner a lot of comments, I'd want to read them all...they'd all mean something. I cried at all of my "sorry about your dog" comments...each one felt great reading.

I commented on Amalah's blog the other day when she had well over 150 comments (I think it's over 200 now). But she had a great post - I wanted to show my support.

I don't think people should say "why would MY comment matter?" To me, EVERY one does. Even if it's just "yay! Go, you!"

[Karen]

It's an interesting question, as I think one starts a blog in order to be heard. One commenter noted that if they weren't looking for some connection with the outside world, they would choose to write in a journal instead. To that end, I have to admit that I LOVE A COMMENT.

However, I am a bad commenter. I have intense guilt that I don't get the chance to often read my most consistent commenters, and even more rarely leave a comment. The kids run in and out of my legs, I sew all day for pennies, and my joy is to grab a few solo minutes to read about your (the collective "your") experiences and relate them to my own.
So generally, I comment when I have the time, or when I am particularly moved/amused/horrified/tickled by what I have just read.

[lildb]

I may be repeating what many of the other commenters have already said, since I can't spare the time to read through, ahem, seventy-plus comments; holy cow! But I find that I comment some of the time b/c I feel weird reading and not leaving a calling card, if you will. The other times I comment b/c I'm motivated to do so by the particular subject of the post; I am moved by some aspect of it. (I find that I am moved often by your posts, btw, hence my fairly regular comments here.)

When I don't comment, after reading like a glutton, I feel weird about it. Like I'm taking the free mints and not leaving a tip. I dunno. It's probably silly, but it makes me uncomfortable. This applies particulary for sites that don't have a large readership/very many comments; the guilt really gets to me. The bigger the blogger, the less urge I feel to comment, b/c for fuck's sake, how am I possibly going to come up with something original to say that doesn't just bore said blogger blind?

On the other hand, I should probably re-evaluate my handling of the blog reading, b/c I have lately found myself avoiding blogs I really like reading, when I don't have the energy to comment in an amusing or thought-provoking manner.

Damn!, but you just insist on coming up with some mind-blowing content, lately. I can't seem to stop myself from diahrrea-commenting all over your blog like a freaking dog that just ate too much garbage-can-pizza.

[jozet]

I refuse to comment on this topic because now you've made me feel self-conscious.

;-)

No, really, I comment because as a writer I like feedback of any sort once in a while, and I figure that other writers do, too. I mean, it isn't all mastubatory, right?

Anyway, no, I don't comment because I expect reciprocal comments. I can't always reciprocate myself for reasons x, y, and z (mostly being "my kids are about to shave the cat, my kids are about to set a fire, and my kids are about to set me on fire) and I hope that people understand. I read a lot more than I comment.

[Chag]

First of all, since you write on 800 different blogs, I don't see how you have time to read others' blogs, let alone comment on them, but you do. Hats off to you. You're like a little dynamo or something.

I comment when something someone wrote moves me. If I think it's funny, I'll tell them. If it's something I can personally relate to, I'll give them my own personal experiences on the matter. But I don't comment nearly as much as I should. I'm a bad blogger.

Plus, I read through BlogLines, so if people publish their full feeds, I'm less inclined to actually click the link to go to their site and leave a comment. Because I'm lazy.

[Kristen]

If I'm specifically asking for advice, of course I love comments. If I am having a bad day and post about it- I like the support I get from my bloggifriends. I also love getting comments from new readers, letting me know that "hey, I'm here!" But I don't feel a particular need to have comments, though I have to say, it builds the old ego up a bit, lol.

[Daily Piglet]

Great subject and topic. I began my blog in order to (hopefully) strengthen my writing skills, and I love to read. Anything.

For me, I comment if a post moves me to comment. It is always nice when the person comes back to my blog and comments. If they don't, that's ok too.

My interests and opinions vary from minute to minute. Some days I get inspired by certain blogs, and other days I wonder why I even bookmarked it.

As for the "friends" I've met, I tend to comment more on theirs just as a way of saying hi and letting them know I support their blog.

I can see how easy it is to get caught up in comments as a measurement for self worth. It's a bit like the entertainment industry in that you are totally selling yourself. In a lot of cases, you are selling yourself sight un-seen.

I would rather folks comment on my blog b/c they liked what they read rather than just a bait and hook type of situation.

[sweetney]

well i guess the idea is that blogging is *a conversation*, right (okay, so i kind of want to gag at that last sentence, but you know what i mean)? yeah, of course i want people to comment. i don't want to feel that i'm writing into the void, you know?

and over time, i feel like i've gotten to know my commenters -- those who blog and those who don't -- and i'd kind of miss them if they didn't come around every once in a while at least.

that said i am A HORRIBLE commenter. i READ a shitload -- an almost psychotic amount of blogs -- but i simply don't have the time comment on everything i'd like. do i feel bad about that? sometimes. i want those i read to know i appreciate them... there just isn't enough time in a day, sadly.

[bubandpie]

If there's an upside to Blogger's recent pissiness, it's that I've realized how much I enjoy commenting in and of itself. It's not the potential delay in comments logged on my posts that bothers me - it's the frustration when I just HAVE to tell "Hello Josephine" that I love Nutella TOO and frigging Blogger won't let me!

[Mrs. Chicky]

I think its good form and mighty neighborly (yee-haw!) to leave a comment if you're reading someone's blog or if they comment on your's. There are those days, however, that you just don't feel like putting forth the effort to comment. Sometimes a girl just wants to zone out and lurk, ya know? If I do that I try to leave a comment on the person's next post.

Plus, Big Brother is watching in the form of Site Meter and Stat Counter. Even if someone doesn't leave a comment on my site, I know they've been there. You can run but you can't hide. Bwah-ha-ha-haa.

[wordgirl]

I started commenting before I started blogging. I really wanted to enter into a "discussion" of sorts by commenting. When my comments started getting longer than the post I had read, I realized it was time to get my own space.

[Izzy]

I don't really have any set policy, per se but typically I comment

a) if someone has written something I can really relate to and I just have to share my thoughts

b) to show appreciation for the obvious time & effort someone may have put into a particular post

c) I want to connect with someone because I feel like I really relate to them as a person.

It is because of option c) that I left you a comment after clicking your blog rental someplace else :)

[Lisa]

I think they are very essential in the beginning not just to get people to come visit your blog but to develop relationships with other bloggers. Now come visit my blog dang it..I left you a comment! Just kidding I have been reading you for quite a while and will keep reading even if you never visit my blog.

[Paula]

If there is something that particularly captures my attention and interest and sympathy, I'll feel inspired to comment. If not, I won't.

The amount of time I can spend blog writing/reading is variable. Some weeks, I'm able to get a lot done. Other times, I can barely find a moment to sit and read. So writing comments sometimes becomes very selective out of necessity.

There goes the Impling...

[urban child bride]

If someone I read asks a question in a post, I try to comment with an answer. A question in a post is a request for feedback, and it just seems like good manners to comment.

In general, I enjoy being part of the blog conversation. Sometimes my comments are just a way of saying, "Hi, I'm reading," but I prefer to have something to say that at least *feels* like a contribution to the topic.

[PHAT Mommy]

I don't leave comments in the hopes of getting a return visit. I leave them to let the writer know that I appreciate what they have to say. I'm not very consistent with my reading/commenting. I'll find someone I love and read regularly, then get behind for awhile, then come back and read again. There are just way too many wonderful blogs out there to read and comment on all, all the time.

Sometimes I come to blogs (like this here fine blog) and I see 50 - 200 comments and I figure adding my "Yeah, me too!" to the mix just isn't necessary. If I have something unique to say, I will comment.

However, reading your post I realized that I don't exactly "do unto others" in this case. I *definitely* would love to have every single person who reads my blog leave a comment. It's just great to get that feedback, good or bad, on what I've written.

[Jerri Ann]

I"m commenting to tell you why I comment. I comment only on entries that get my attention usually. I happen to enjoy comments myself although I only get 4 to 5 a week...I also find lots of nice blogs to read in other folks comments...if someone writes a particulary funny comment, I go find their blog if they have one....

[Lia]

I always get here so late everyone has said it all before. I've been wondering about the comment ettiquette - and I guess I only do it if a post has moved me and if I still feel I have somethig to contribute to the dialogue. Or if I feel moved by the words enough to want to reach out and say hi. You have the ability to get people talking and should consider it a compliment.

[Mama C-ta]

For how many blogs I read I generally don't comment much. Mainly b/c I'm usually NAK or just have 1 second to skim a post before I have to do something extremely important like change a diaper or wipe a nose.

I definitely don't comment to get hits or readers, I feel like that's a bit two-faced in some way. Not trying to put down those that do it, for me personally I don't like to comment just hoping I get something in return. I only comment when something worth (in my mind) saying in response pops into my head. But also most of the time the people I read are such talented writers that I'm scared to comment b/c I'll look like such a turd next to their fabulous post.

I love getting comments so I feel badly when I don't comment but it happens. I don't comment just for the hell of it if nothing comes to mind. I do always visit someone's site when they comment on mine out of a curtesy though. I've found tons of great blogs that way and others I check out and never come back.

[jennster]

i comment because i have something to say. or i'm commented to visit someone who visited my blog and is new. i will also comment on blogs i like, and maybe they'll read my blog and like it too. they don't have to comment, but i really do think that comments are the KEY way for us to find eachother. more than someone's blogroll, because comments are more personal. i wrote about this on my blog awhile ago.. and dammit, i'm giving you the link cause the comments are enlightening. :)
http://jennnster.blogspot.com/2006/04/loving-your-fellow-bloggers.html

[Mary]

Too many comments here to read now... I'm sure someone else will have said what I am going to say but here goes anyway...

I comment because I'm a talkaholic and this is the blogosphere equivalent of that. I am also an extravert.

At first, on some sites, I felt a little like I was intruding on someone's conversation but I soon realized that most bloggers welcome any commenters (polite ones)whether they are strangers or not.

I don't hold any expectation of someone returning my "call" so to speak. My blog is kind of random and not created specifically for larger traffic. However, when someone does come over to pay a call, MOM101, Lucinda, Motherhood Uncensored, I really enjoy it and am happy for the company.

But that's just me! ;)

[Mommy off the Record]

The longer I blog, the more I change my view on this. At first, I thought that it was good etiquitte to always leave a comment on someone's blog if they leave a comment on yours. But then I saw that some people get like 40+ comments PER post and I thought well there's just no way. Because that rarely happens to me (hey, I wish!), I try to go back and comment on others' posts if they comment on mine, but if I don't have the time, I just go back to comment on my favorites.

I think there is something quite validating about getting comments. Like you realize you've touched someone, made them laugh, etc.

Honestly, if it wasn't for comments, I wouldn't be blogging. I'd be writing in a diary. And where's the fun in that?

[DD]

A fellow blogger called me a "comment slut" in reference to how many blogs she sees me comment on.

I actually find myself commenting more on the newer, lessor known blogs b/c I remember that feeling, like no one was listening.

On the pop blogs, I read, I inwardly agree/disagree and move on. I can't say it any better or differently than the first 643 commentors did so why bother?

[Amy Jo]

I often want to comment, but feel that I won't be able to express myself clearly. Sometimes what I start out saying becomes something totally different by the end! I read a lot of blogs, and only comment occasionally, but I do try and make an effort to de-lurk once in a while! Like now!

[Latte Man]

I comment when I feel I have something to contribute to the topic at hand (or a question is asked).

I learn of new blogs through commenters in my blog as well as commenters on blogs that I like.

I appreciate if someone that I comment to visits. But the last thing I would want is a comment to "fulfill" some sort of "Comment Reciprocation" If what I say moves someone to comment GREAT. Otherwise don't bother. You are not doing me any great "favor" as I see it. I want comments from "readers" not from "Here is my pity comment back"

[radmama]

Um.. is because I'm mouthy a good enough reason? *blush*

To elaborate:

I entered the blog world through comments. A dear friend was cycling across the country and checking in with the rest of the world through his blog on Xanga and rarely had enough time to read his email. In order to leave cheeky/snarky/appreciative comments for him, I had to have a Xanga account.

Then I looked around, discovered writing I enjoyed and communities that interested me. Due to the fact I cannot keep my mouth shut, reading led to commenting.

My own blogging began just for the hell of it. Writing in my blog corner was primarily an end-of-the-day-single-mom-brain-dump and a desperate attempt to do more than talk to the cats after kidlet bedtime. In retrospect, I realize that it was also because my academic/professional writing wasn't going at all well at the time and I NEED to write on a daily basis in order to maintain my slim grip on mental health.

I think my blogging is trite, self-indulgent, un-edited garbage and I am shocked/appalled/amazed/intrigued by the fact that I have "an audience."

Whether or not someone visits my blog or comments is unrelated to how I feel about myself or my blog. My participation via comments anywhere on the interweb is more about expression of ideas, debates, appreciation and just plain ol' community. Blog comments are the alt. newsgroups of the 21st century . :-)

[Not that lovely friendships have not emerged from my blog, but that is a comment for another day.]

I'm mouth and longwinded. :-)

[Motherhood Uncensored]

I think it's ironic that blogger is currently down and is not accepting comments right now.

bwwwhahahahahahaaha

Seeing as I just tried to leave about 10,000 comments. Bastards.

So, everyone who has posted that has blogger. That is my excuse today.

Blogger sucks ass.

Carry on.

[dutch from sweet juniper]

Commenters are the guy who yell "freebird" at the concert.

They are the people who want to make an intimate connection with a stranger they admire, even though they're standing in a crowd of people not yelling "freebird." They want to see the singer look up, smile, maybe playfully grind out the first couple chords and then go back to playing what the rest of the crowd wants to hear.

I was never that guy in real life, but I was in the blogging world.

At first, I commented more than I blogged. I commented even when I didn't have anything to say. I loved the community that swelled up all because of commenting. I commented on big blogs and little ones.

Lately, I haven't been doing it as much, mostly because I read everyone in bloglines now. Bloglines is evil. But I still try to leave comments for almost everyone who leaves comments for me. But we have been getting 50+ comments on some of our posts, and man it can just be hard to keep up. Not because I don't want to, but because there just isn't enough time.

I will say that I know a number of people who commented heavily on sweet juniper, and then disappeared the second I added them to our blogroll. I felt used, and thought that was kind of lame.

So the next topic you should bring up is blogrolling. Kristen, you are the ultimate meta-blogger!

[Kristin]

I've thought about this a lot too.

I appreciate my comments so much that I worry about hurting commenters feelings if I don't comment back...but then I already read twenty seven kazillion blogs a day, for my own use and Blogging Baby. And I cannot comment everywhere or I'd never sleep.

I leave comments when a post speaks to me, and also pepper sporadic comments to frequent commenters when I can because I love them.

I also have a few blogs that I read and never comment because I secretly don't like the blogger but am trainwreckishly addicted to them.

[Melissa]

I love comments, they make me happy. I tend to comment on blogs that I love every or almost every post. It's like having a conversation of sorts with a friend. But I read a lot of other blogs through bloglines that I don't comment on.

SOme people get a ton of comments (you). I don't and I'm ok with it. But I do like that the same 10 people or so comment all the time on my site. It feels like they are my friends and are supporting me, even if they just say, hey that is cool. It's a way of being in touch in the internet world. Everyone feels differently about it. I guess there is no easy answer.

[chelle]

Honestly, why read through the post and not say something?!?! There are a few blogs I just read but they are usually information based blogs rather than a post from the heart. If someone has taken the time to share a post, I comment. Sometimes I stop reading/commenting but it is rare usually only when I am offended. I do not post if the author has 106 comments, because will my comment make a difference ... I doubt it. I do appreciate comments from the people I read because to me we are just one big community of smart, funny, interesting women and men. To be part of that community one should participate not just reap the benefits. Just my thoughts...

[mothergoosemouse]

I would comment, but this post didn't really speak to me. I think I will go back to my site now and turn off comments.

[Tonia]

I really only comment when I have something to say that pertains to the post, but I do enjoy comments from others. I don't mind the traffic but that is definitely not why I do it. I do it so later I can remember things about my son.

[reluctant housewife]

I love getting comments. If I didn't I would turn them off.

However, I only comment when the feeling hits - somedays I'm commenting all over the place and other days I surf and read quietly.

I guess that means that I am breaching some bloggy ettiquette code. So be it.

I never expect reciprocal comments. (Except from you. I expect you to go to my blog as soon as you read this - ASAP! Ha ha.)

In all seriousness, I want people to comment when they want to - not because they feel obligated. For that reason, I don't feel pressured to do reciprocal comments myself.

Comments are great. To me, it's like leaving a little tip when you read something good. But if I want to start a conversation, or think I have something in common with a blogger I send an email. I find that the direct approach is better.

[Chase]

I think I'm a comment hypocrite, to be honest. I get upset when my readers don't leave comments (because, whaaaa, I'm not validated as a writer), but sometimes I go weeks without commenting on someone else's blog.

I now have 96 blogs in my Bloglines that I read everyday. And I usually read every word that's typed. So, my commenting has been pushed back to those posts that move me in some way, whether it be with humor, a direct question (like yours today), sadness, likemindedness, etc. I do this with both the tiny blogs and the bigguns.

I do, however, try to keep up with and comment more on those people who regularly comment on my stuff.

With that said, sometimes I get commenters that I visit their blog and I literally can't think of anything to say...so I don't. But I ALWAYS respond to comments in my comments section. Even if they never see that I did.

I love the comments and often think to myself "why have only 6 people commented?!?!?!", but when I have a big post (like my lotto pictures one, or when my dog died) and I get 50 comments? I know people are still out there...and that's ok with me. :)

[Lit]

I'm de-lurking. I've been reading you for quite some time and this is my first comment, mainly because it's about commenting and I was thinking a couple posts ago that I should really say something. But, really, I just like reading you and didn't expect anything else other than to read your posts. I've had various blogs for almost five years and definitely in the first couple of years watched my numbers go up and down and commented mainly to bring people to my site (and then developed a complex about commenting - Ack! I hope she doesn't think I'm comment-whoring! - kind of thing). Anymore, though, I just like reading other people and haven't any real desire to make my numbers jump. So this comment is to tell you I'm reading and I'm liking...and that's all.

[Wendy Boucher]

I love getting comments so I comment on other sites that I read. It's that simple. I don't blog to get comments, my family lives 3,000 miles away from me so I blog in part for them. Same with faraway friends. The surprise has been how many online friendships I have developed. But I do love those comments!
By the way, I'm having a little housewarming at my new Wordpress site: www.wendyboucher.com/blog. Be sure to come by but bring your own mixers. I'm out.

[MetroDad]

As dumb as it may sound, I like to comment on people's sites who comment on mine because I think it's bad manners to do otherwise. My mother's sense of etiquette is killing me. In the back of my head, I can hear her saying, "How come Johnny always comes over to visit you and see what you're doing but you never go over to his house?"

But generally, I like commenting on people's sites to let them know I'm reading them and that I appreciate their writing.

[Michele]

1 - "Does every post you read speak to you enough that you need to say something" -
No, but I try to throw one in anyway when its a place I read daily. Unless they already have 40+ comments because then they dont need my cheesey input.

2- "or are you motivated by something else? Like empathy (I like comments so maybe they do too)" -
Yes, especially when I find a blog with no comments, then I want to say "hey, I am reading." But I am also motivated majorly by "Hey, me too!"

3 - "potential readership (maybe they'll click back if I comment)" -Sometimes, especially when I have something major in common, like twins or whatever

4 -"or potential hits (maybe the other commenters will peruse the comments and click to me)" - no, but I have been found by some of my favorite people this way

5 - "Would you rather have someone read you a lot and not comment much ala lurker-chic, or someone who reads you based on clickbacks and your comments, and just comments on your blog to get you to come back?" - I like the attention so comments are nice, but I also like someone who knows my back-story and comments only on important stuff.

6 - "Are comments really what blogging is about?" - no, but yes. Blogging is journaling, which is singular, but on the internet, so definitely in search of an audience/community for sharing.

7 - "Are they essential to your blogging existence?" - they are the icing and having a place to get things off my chest is the cake

[Sarah-Jean]

If I write a post and no one comments on it, I feel like it was uninteresting to people and that I have to try harder, which usually discourages me.

So when I go on to another person's blog and I read their posts, I make a comment. I feel it's almost obligatory if you read the post. Almost like writing a review of a book....

When I leave comments on personal blogs, it's only because I find the post interesting.

When I leave a comment on a large public blog, it's usually to generate readership for my own blog.

[marnie]

I only started commenting on blogs that I like fairly recently. One day I decided to make it known if I do love a blog...

If I comment on your blog you can be sure that I check it daily for updates. It's my way of saying "I think you're cool."

Nobody thinks I am cool. I certainly don't do it for traffic to my own site. I went 3 years without a single comment so I don't have any problems talking to myself. *cry* Really.. I don't.

*sob*

btw - I think you're cool and read your blog every day. Your "tell it how it is" writing style is truly refreshing.

[Petite Mommy]

Ok, if anyone said they didnt care about comments I think they would be lying. We all want people to like us and when you are getting comments then obviously someone likes you or likes your site, or likes that you have a popular site with a high page rank. Comments validate you and makes you feel like someone understands what you are going through.

I comment on a few blogs that I like every few days. I dont do it everyday and I dont blog everyday. I started my personal blog as an extension of my main website since it was also about moms. I range from personal topics to site topics and just whatever. I like comments but I dont expect that many comments as I dont leave that many comments.
For some blogs, I leave comments on almost all their posts just because I have became online friends with them and they comment on mine on a daily basis so it's a reciprocal thing I guess. For others that I havent become friends with then I guess I comment when I read something that is enjoyable or funny or something with which I can identify. I only comment on mom/parenting blogs.

[Cyndi]

I'm becoming a comment "snob", if you will. I used to just seek out other blogs to comment on so they'd read mine. But stupid people started pissing me off. I'm a snob. I got associated with people I didn't want to be. So I'm more selective with my commenting now. I've whittled down who I read. There are a lot of bloggers out there and a lot of blogging mamas out there, but few I find funny or with whom I identify. You, I find funny and engaging. AngyBlackBitch, I identify with. RedStapler seems to be the NICEST lady a live and I love reading her. You get my point........there are too many lame blogs out there to read em all or care about if they are reading you. There are some, quite honestly, I wish WOULDNT read me.

I'm a comment snob.

[misha]

I just want to know why people actually keep commenting on the sites that have 200-300 comments in seconds. How does the writer even read all of those?

[Emily]

I typically don't comment on the "bigger" sites. I like commenting on smaller, not well known sites, like my own b/c it's nice to know that someone is reading and appreciating what you have to say. Once in a great while I will leave a comment on a higher traffic site only if it is a topic that is important to me. Other than that, I'm sticking with the little guys!

[katbliss]

Good question! When I first started reading blogs I ALWAYS left a comment, sorta like a "Kathy was here" sign. I spent way too much time trying to come up with something to write even if I had nothing to say. Now, I comment when I actually have a comment. I read your blog everyday!

[munchkin]

Personally, I comment only when have something to contribute, or when I want to give someone a pat on the back for a post, or because I really really liked what they had to say.

I have a blog, but it sucks, and no one ever reads it. For now Im fine with that. Im pretty much using it as a personal journal and a way to share photos with my family or non digital friends. If someone else comes by thats cool. I think eventually if I get the han of this writing thing, I might want more people to come visit.... I get what youre saying about comments... just not my motivation at this time :).

[Sunshine Scribe]

This is interesting.

Comments are validating. Of course they are. Anyone who claims otherwise should turn their comment feature off. But when I started blogging I didn't expect anyone to read me besides my close friends that I gave the url to. So the comment thing has been an unexpected bonus to help me stay motivated to continue blogging. But I don't blog "for" or "because" of the comments. They are just the sweet, juicy cherry on top.

It can get ridiculously time consuming to comment on dozens of blogs everyday and then you feel guilty if you don't. There are a handful of bloggers whose writing I respect or who have become "blog friends" that I try to read and comment on most of their posts. Then beyond that I comment only on posts I am really interested in.

When I get a new commenter I always reciprocate the first time in case their objective is as you have suggeted, to get a comment back. It is like saying hi back to someone who greets you on the street. Just good manners :)

[Jenny]

This post is making me feel really slutty. Is there such a thing as a blog-slut because if so, I think I am. I probably leave 20-30 comments a day but I'm going to chalk it up to the fact that I'm a speed-reader with lots of coffee breaks and not that I'm just a big old whore.

[fizzle]

I feel like this is the own up, thus break up question, and I'm trying to explain why I used you. Why I never called and how it's not true that I never cared for your hairless pomeranian.

Here's what my tireless research of blog reading's unfolded - I'm not the greatest of marketers, so I don't whore myself and seed comments like I'm proliferating the earth. I am interested in good writing, experiences or intriguing tales.

Bloggers like you (with a following) are harder to convert to readers anyway. You're too busy. You've got a list of blogs. You're playing the violin on the weekend. And hanging out at pools with 2 day old babies. Tough act to follow.

I'm a pretty loyal audience if I like the writing. If a blogger's personality and I don't match, then I'm not spewing my words all over their private spaces. (Now why did I just make this all sound like dirty, hot sex?) But commenting is a way of connecting.

There's something junior high about commenting. Or salesy. You know whose interested in you, you know whose only promoting themselves. And many relationships don't last the "wow, you're a good writer" stage...

[Andrea]

In my case, I probably over-comment. I try to leave a comment on the blogs I read daily mostly if I have something to add (and I usually do, even if it's not that witty) but sometimes just to say "hey, I'm still reading." To me, it's a big compliment for someone to spend their time reading what I have to say on my blog. I'm not saying my time is so valuable that I want people to know I stopped by and be flattered, but I feel as if comments to my site are compliments, validations that I'm not alone. If my taking the time to say "I feel you" may make someone else feel validated and less alone, then it's worth it. After all, sometimes my real life friends just need someone to listen, but if my blogging friends do, they may not know I'm listening if I don't comment. Those times, I may not say much, but how are they to know I'm supportive of them if I don't leave a calling card? And I don't mind lurkers at all, because commenting isn't for everyone.

I don't generally comment to get new readers, though I have gotten a few by that means. Mainly, I write my posts to say what I have to say, and if people comment, I'm happy and glad they stopped by. I'm happy and glad people stopped by if they didn't comment. Someone thinks enough to at least look when they've found me.

I try not to get bent out of shape over comments, both getting them and leaving them, because I mostly blog for myself and to keep my far away family informed of our lives. It's a new way to stay in touch. And I'm making new friends to boot.

[Asha Dornfest]

I, too, read many blogs every day. For me, commenting is less about traffic/self-promotion and more about participating in the conversation. I comment when a) I have an emotional response and I want to reach out to the author ("I'm with ya on this") or b) I have something (I think) valuable to add to the discussion.

I feel I "know" frequent commenters because I visit their blogs, but I don't feel obligated to comment there unless I have something to contribute. I don't keep score on who comments, how much, and whether I've/they've reciprocated. Karmically, it evens out.

Blogging is like tossing out messages in bottles. I launch my ideas and thoughts into the world, and accept that they take on a life of their own -- most of which I'll never know about. If I get a message back, great. If I don't...I toss out another bottle the next day.

[krista]

I comment on your site as part of my morning routine, partly because we've been blog buddies for awhile and I like your writing, and partly because I know there is a lively comments section over here. I enjoy reading everyone elses comments while I am here, so I might as well add to the party.

I don't expect reciprocity form people. I appreciate it when it happens, but I don't expect it. I don't feel people owe me anything when I comment on their site.

Don't get me wrong, I love getting comments, but sometimes if I get too many comments it stresses me out. I don't want to be an ass by not clicking back and commenting but if I have 20 comments, and try to read all those sites and comment with heart and meaning, I would be on the computer for an unhealthy amount of time.

If I comment on peoples sites, and they don't come back to comment on mine, I don't hold a grudge. Sometimes I might be a little disappointed if I have commented alot on someones site, and have gotten absolutely NOTHING back from them, but I just remember how stressed I get when I get alot of comments and I remind myself that we all have lives outside of the computer.

To answer your question about why I comment though- I comment to contribute. In best case scenarios it leads to a bloggy friendship, but sometimes it isn't about that. Sometimes its just about bearing witness to someones words. Sort of like the amen sister thing.

[Bliss]

Oh, and I usually comment when a post really makes me think or makes me laugh so hard that I have trouble catching my breath.

[Bliss]

Hi, longtime lurker coming out of the woodwork.

I've only been into the whole blogging world (reading and blogging myself) for a few months. At first I was slightly miffed that people didn't leave comments, and then I got over it. I knew that people were reading (Thank You Sitemeter), and so I didn't feel like I was just talking to myself.

I know there are certain rules of conduct that one should try to follow, but on the internet it's so hard to pin down exactly what those are. And when you can't pin them down everything can quickly dissolve into high school mode, and I disliked high school enough the first time around.

[Rebecca]

I actually read a few blogs everyday, but seldom comment. Sometimes I just don't know what to say or feel that I need to say something. I do agree though that some people do comment to get people to there blogs.

[Redneck mommy]

I like to leave comments on blogs that move me, inspire me, or tickle my fancy. I like the whole participation aspect of blogging.

But as for receiving comments, while I love and appreciate them all, even the stupid ones, I always feel guilt if I can't get back to them and reciprocate. I love reading my comments but certainly, my blogging doesn't revolve or hinge on my comment count.

Cause after blogging for months and only having like five comments a day, that would be hard on my ego. So I blog because I want to, because I need to chatter on and not annoy my husband. And who better to chatter to than the vast, all knowing internet?

[Kristi]

I comment when I can, when the post speaks to me or I relate in some way. I do feel the pressure, but sometimes it's just enough to read someone.
Or, what Mom-101 said, except I'm saving for a vacation to Namibia! :) And at the rate I get comments, it'll never happen.

[TB]

This is a good question. We discussed this topic a lot at Blogfest last weekend. Here's my take:

-Blogging is essentially reciprocal. I like to know who's reading so even if you only comment once and then go back to lurking, it's cool with me.
-If I comment a lot on someone's blog who is not a huge blog rockstar, I do sort of expect them to stop by and vistit, at least once, then if they don't like what they see, it's all good. I try my hardest to check in on everyone who comments or links to me.
-If I go out of my way to reach out to you by sending an e-mail to you directly rather than a comment on something you wrote that really spoke to me, let me know that you got it and it meant something to you. That's just common courtesy no matter how big your blog is. That kind of behaviour turns me off pretty quick.