You can't believe I live in Mississippi and you can't believe how crazy it is.
Sure, I write rather entertaining posts on my mother's journey to China, how moms are really training to be secret agents, and parenting in general. But for the most part, I feel like people know me as the college professor suffering through her lonely days in the Deep South.
Sounds so dramatic. And yet, it's fairly accurate.
And while Mississippi certainly has its fair share of quirks, like misquitos, pimento cheese sandwiches (and yes, they taste as bad as they sound), and some really bad hairdos, I have to admit that its been pretty good to me.
I mean, I started a college undergraduate program, wrote a book, met my husband, and had my daughter. And hell. Look at my blog. Just from bitching about a state with way too many 's'es. Okay. Maybe there's more. But still. Admit it. You love the Mississippi cracks.
And while I have suffered through various forms of racism, some really bad meals, and several conversations where I had no clue what people were saying, I have to realize that there are some good things to be remembered.
But don't worry. I'm not getting all sappy on you.
I'm just reminiscing before I kiss Mississippi's stinky, anti-green, red-loving, porkrind and chitlin eating, slow driving, bad accent, ignorant fool ASS GOODBYE.
Because in a few months (or maybe sooner), I will no longer be a New Jersey transplant. That's right. I will once again be a NJ/PA/DE resident (not sure yet). It seems that the Air Force, after trying to send us to North Dakota and then keeping us here indefinitely, has finally approved our early leave request. And so WE ARE OUT.
Let me say it again.
WE ARE LEAVING MISSISSIPPI!
And sure, part of me realizes that my blogging career has been largely based on my life in Mississippi and I'm a little worried.
What will I blog about? Will anyone read me when I'm complaining about my too-hot soy mocha at Starbucks? Or that I had to sit in traffic for 2 hours just to go 35 miles? Or that my soft pretzel salt got stuck in my teeth and I had to go to the dentist? Or that my plethora of friends through me a baby shower and I farted. In public.
UGH. That's just doesn't sound as fun as the "black n' white prom," "free shave and enema" offer at the hospital, and deep fried pickles.
I mean, will you still love me if I'm in Philly?
But then I realized (for various very long reasons that have to do with money and the air force) I have to live with my in-laws for awhile. Yes, those in-laws.
So, I'll have more than enough blog fodder... so long as I don't have to pay too much for my wireless, computer time, and babysitting. How much do grandparents charge these days?