I'm Just Not Sure if I'm Going to Make It

I've been walking a very fine line of "just about to lose slight control on the grips of my sanity" and "convulsing on the floor in a Tony Soprano x 12 panic attack."

If you haven't figured it out yet, I have pretty decent coping skills.

But they are waning.

And I am slowly fading.

Putting her down for naps everyday and bedtime every night. Reading the same three Maisy stories two times a day. Feeding her almost every meal - or at least preparing it so they can attempt to do it for me. Struggling for a good 30 seconds to get my large pregnant body off the bathroom floor after her bath. Having to sit and put my large swollen lower legs up after only 1-2 hours of being on them.

And them. Yeah. Those people.

I'm just about to lose it.

But just when I thought I might climb out the window and attempt to hide on the roof, my daughter, my sweet sweet daughter FINALLY (for the first time EVER) decided that she did not need me to lay with her for 20-30 minutes while she fell asleep to take her nap.

No crying. No pleading. No throwing things at the door. No screaming bloody murder.

Just her in there reading alone for 2 hours until I finally offered her a big enough piece of candy post nap for her just to lay her little head down without mine next to it.

At least someone knows what I need.

Thank you sweetie. Thank you.

*We're trying bedtime too. Apparently, I have to talk to Santa and tell him she wants two dollhouses (that would be two more than I'd like in my home, however...). And a ghost marshmallow candy. Except it's now almost 11pm. And while she's not crying, she is reading books in the dark. Still. And playing with the fancy baby monitor that plays music.

That she knows how to work apparently.

Guess we'll have to start bedtime at around 6pm so she's asleep by 8pm.

I can handle that.

Progress. Thank God for progress.

And candy.

Comments

[Nancy]

Glad to hear your girl Q is taking good care of you. (well, at least at naptime.) She is so adorable.

Hang in there, K.

[Her Bad Mother]

My situation is not exactly the same - not pregnant; not living with IL's; Husband at home - but with his looooooong hours, I have stretches of time (weeks) that look exactly like that (minus the in-laws) (except for this past weekend).

I hear you. It's HARD. H.A.R.D. But, yes, thank the gods for those precious moments when you realize who and what you're doing it for.

Bliss in a tutu.

[Robina]

Ah, how sweet! She is beautiful! So mine's not the only one to throw stuff at the door? Does she kick the walls? I gave up making mine go to bed to take a nap. She falls asleep on the couch watching cartoons. Maybe not a good thing, but it keeps both of us from stressing to the breaking point.

[Lia]

Good girl Q, stick it out there MU, remind us again how long this temp situ is for?

L

[mothergoosemouse]

Three cheers for unassisted napping!

And even though she was still up at 11pm - if she's relatively quiet and entertaining herself, it's all good.

[cANNEtankerous]

I feel your pain and I'm glad Q decided at just the right moment to change her naptime style. That's what gets me the most about parenting--the repetition. Same stories, same rituals, day after day and sometimes hour after hour. It reminds me of that movie, "Groundhog Day," with Bill Murray.

[Jennifer]

I so totally feel for you. I think your daughter must too. Is there anywhere else you could set yourself up? Even in a small rental for a few months until your husband is back and relocates you? Anywhere that is not there?
You are handling the situation amazingly well. I'd be a pregnant, sobbing mess at this point, or else I'd have stolen the in-laws' Visa to charge my apartment at the Residence Inn.

[Sara]

I wish there was something to say or do to help. You're holding on amazingly well under the circumstances.

So wonderful about Quinlan's sleeping progress...you're raising a real-life heroine already! That picture is so cute, it's ridiculous!

[Damselfly]

I love her style. Is that the pioneer baby fairy look? :)

[Becky Brahma]

OH yeah...candy goes a long way in this household also! I feel for ya...who knew kids and pregnancy could be so hard combined?? I have noticed I have been so busy with DD, I haven't had a chance to even ponder enjoying this pregnancy. I hope your sanity stays in tact...maybe Quinlan will surprise you and decide mommy isn't needed anymore to lie next to her. What a great gift that would be, huh?

[BFF]

Let no one underestimate the power of candy.
hang in there, sister.
C'mon over, though. You won't have to hold on so tight to your sanity over here.
:)

[qt]

Fuck -that picture is enough to keep ME going for the next month! All I can think about is what you will tell her when she is pregnant -

"You think YOU have it bad? When I was pregnant I had to live with the sinlaws and they hung my bras up over their soup pots...."

[Jenn]

she's got good timing, as well as good fashion sense! Good for her (and you).

[Francesca (Stuntmother)]

Sometimes our children do know what we need. It is miraculous, that a drop back in can help us keep pouring the ocean out.

Your situation almost confounds commenting, or certainly confounds intelligent or witty commenting. You are doing an amazing job of staying sane. I would have wrapped a bra around someone's neck by now and pulled it tight. I find going to bed really really really early helps me stay sane when I am in my in-laws house. (These are the people who told my husband I was obviously an American whore who was going to give him AIDS and them dump him.) Yah.

[Elizabeth]

She is ADORABLE in the bonnet and princess dress! I'm sorry your in-laws aren't helping you more-do they not remember how to bathe a child? Sheesh.

[tracey]

I swear it, they can FEEEEEL when we're at the true breaking point and they sometimes back off and give us what we need when we need it most. Bless the children.

[HG]

Awww - it's amazing when they come through like that. Good girl.

[JChase]

Hope things get better soon Kristen. At least Q knows what you need. :)