I Think Sitting on an Iceberg in Antarctica is Warmer
I can't tell whether I have a depression headache or a "oh God please get me the fuck out of here" headache. My midwife told me to be on the lookout for PPD symptoms, one of which is as follows:
Do you find everyone around you to be irritating?
Um. Yes. But how is that different than before I had the baby? Sheesh. Don't they have disclaimers on those lists for poor post partum women stuck in a house with her in-laws.
I hesitate to write another post about the in-laws. Your empathy, sympathy, and kind words go a long way, but quite frankly, even I'm sick of talking about it. Sure. We all got a good laugh over the pot and the bras, but when it comes down to it, they're a bunch of cold motherfuckers.
I should have figured as much, but my girlish optimism got the better of me. My hopes for a big blown up stork holding a sign with my son's name on it out in front of the house were dashed. There's nary a balloon, sign, flower (except from my husband and bff), or gift to be had.
Nope. Not a bib, onesie, or crappy rough receiving blanket. My mother-in-law offered to buy him a rattle today.
Oh thanks! A rattle. Don't over extend yourself!
Even the "gifts" my own mother brought I asked her to buy for me because I didn't have enough baby socks and blankets.
Maybe it's because we're living here for free, I thought... for one second. And while we are looking to move, it's just a bit more complicated than that -- our furniture and all our belongings in storage, no sign of a training date from the National Guard, a possible interview with Delta (anyone have connections there?), and well, you know, moving with a one-week-old baby and a toddler.
It's hard.
And so, please excuse me while I bitch, moan, and weep, and then search the shelves at Whole Foods for St. John's "Here's to Dealing With Your In-Laws" Wort.
Thank goodness for cute toddlers, helpful husbands (yes, it's true), and cool blogpals with really great taste.
Who cares about the family, mommy? The blogosphere thinks I'm damn cute and that's all that matters.
Everyone cared about the first boy, barely anyone cared about the second and you could hear crickets when the third was born. I feel for ya.
If you're really looking for a baby-safe mood lift, get some Sepia (homeopathy pellets). Take it a few times a day and you'll feel better in a few days.
Posted by: Gina | February 06, 2007 at 12:17 AM
Your new son is simply gorgeous. I can relate on the in law situation. My sister in law moved in 10 years ago and it is not easy. I truly believe that when me and my husband retire, it will be the three of us on the porch in rocking chairs. No kidding! That broad is fricking nuts!!!!
Posted by: Kris | January 31, 2007 at 10:33 PM
I found your site just wondering around on this machinge, gosh your son is cute!! I have 5 kids and yes you have heard it I'm sure it gets better.
Good luck and thanks for the laughs amy
Posted by: amysue | January 31, 2007 at 08:30 PM
Congratulations, Kristen! He's so damn adorable. I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner, I missed the big day! I'm a bad blog pal.
:(
This new job is taking away blog time. I hate that! (But I LOOOOVE the job.)
Posted by: Dana | January 30, 2007 at 10:33 PM
Congratulations, Kristen! He's so damn adorable. I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner, I missed the big day! I'm a bad blog pal.
:(
This new job is taking away blog time. I hate that! (But I LOOOOVE the job.)
Posted by: Dana | January 30, 2007 at 10:33 PM
Congratulations! He is wonderful. And it is weird about the gifts. We had that too.
My girl just wrote your girl a blog post by the way..
And, so glad to know the move is coming. I am with you on that one also. The idea of packing makes me yak
take care -- you are a star! Your posting prowess is beyond compare.
Posted by: mo-wo | January 30, 2007 at 06:03 PM
The blogosphere thinks that he's BEYOND CUTE. Cute doesn't even cover it.
SupercallafragalistADORABLE!
Posted by: Her Bad Mother | January 30, 2007 at 05:54 PM
What a handsome baby! You did a good job!
Posted by: InterstellarLass | January 30, 2007 at 05:40 PM
Awwww, he's a doll. Looks like a big boy too. See, the old boobs are good for something other than sagging after all.
I really feel for you on the in-law situation. I think I would prefer to be homeless than live with my ghetto fabulous in-laws. MIL has been calling us for days, trying to get a hold of my husband. Turns out she wanted to borrow two of our kids social security numbers so she could claim them on her taxes. She would kick us down a $1000 when she got her returns. I am so totally serious. We told her she was S.O.O.L. She hasn't called back since.
Posted by: Denise C. | January 30, 2007 at 04:12 PM
I can't believe you're coherent enough right now to be writing blog entries. I've been thinking about you this week and sending you good vibes. The boy is adorable.
Posted by: TB | January 30, 2007 at 09:25 AM
He is just beautiful! How has the toddler taken to him? Have you caught her trying to carry him around yet? Yea, be on the lookout for that, it's what little girls do.
Can I please come there and slap the ever loving crap out of those people you live with?
Posted by: Robina | January 30, 2007 at 08:11 AM
What a cutie! I feel for you about the grandparents, really I do. It seems like such a small hope/expectation -- and yet even that isn't fulfilled. Sorry. Hang in there -- and enjoy that baby!
Posted by: whymommy | January 30, 2007 at 12:21 AM
Reading this absolutely pains me to my core. Forget the gifts -- where's the kindness? I wish you a speedy journey to the next phase in your life, next address on your mailing labels. (And my armchair diagnosis? The depression isn't hormonal, it's geographic.)
Drew's a looker. Am I surprised?
Posted by: Mom101 | January 29, 2007 at 08:01 PM
He IS damn cute. And sounds like I may have a touch of PPD, 3 years later...because everyone around me is irritating too!
It's been said, but hang in there. You have a lot of peeps here pulling for you!
Posted by: carrie | January 29, 2007 at 07:35 PM
I think you're not missing anything in terms of gifts from your in-laws. I can just imagine what their tastes must be like.
At least your husband remembered the flowers.
I hope that you are able to enjoy your kids, and get some sleep.
Posted by: Lisse | January 29, 2007 at 04:53 PM
Holy cute baby. I could just bite him! Look at those cheeks! (Well. You know, I wouldn't REALLY bite him.)
I brought two babies home into this melee of dysfunction, the second time, clutching a prescription for Prozac in one hand. Two years later, I am still filling that damn thing every month and while it is not a solution, it is a good coping tool. Keeps me from coming completely unhinged. Do what you have to do and nibble that boy!
Posted by: karyn | January 29, 2007 at 03:26 PM
What a beautiful baby! When I had my fourth baby, my inlaws decided that since they gave so much to the other three, he didn't need any gifts. Because he isn't a person too apparently. I thought it would stop once he got old enough to understand, but sadly they still give him much less than the others. You know, because he can just take the other kids used crap instead of them buying new stuff specifically for him.
I second the whole situational depression thing. If you want meds, ask your doctor. I bet you could get them in your situation! God luck! And no matter what yucky situation you live in, take lots of time to breathe in that new baby smell and just enjoy him. I miss it like crazy!
Posted by: tori | January 29, 2007 at 01:54 PM
That sucks. I can't imagine people being that cold about their grandchild. They really are heartless, aren't they? Especially to be so cold about someone as cute as him!
And nothing wrong with meds for PPD. There is such a thing as "situational" depression, and if this situation isn't a prime example, I don't know what is.
Posted by: Christina | January 29, 2007 at 01:45 PM
Oh yeah, neither my parents OR my husband's parents buy my kids anything! I have tons of friends who constantly get packages in the mail from their parents. When my husband got back from Afghanistan and we went to visit my family for Christmas, not ONCE did I hear, "Why don't the two of you go out and have some time for yourselves while I watch the kids." They always wanted to come too, so I had to pay for the sitter!
Posted by: Jen | January 29, 2007 at 01:28 PM
Super cute outfit. Boy clothes aren't that bad after all!
Posted by: Jen | January 29, 2007 at 01:23 PM
He is so dang cute! Oy close the page quick before my baby want kicks in.
Wow you so deserve a medal or something damn good for doing what you have been doing. You are awesome and well lets hope you find a way put soon.
Posted by: Jacquie | January 29, 2007 at 01:06 PM
It was hard enough for me to survive the births of both children, and I had loving, supportive family members around both times to help. The postpartum period is tiring enough, with everyone adjusting to their new roles AND the new dynamic.
Wish I could smack your in-laws upside their personality-disorder laden heads. Sorry you have to go through this.
Posted by: Kelly | January 29, 2007 at 01:00 PM
Hang in! I don't know what else to say except you are right to wonder why all they've offered to buy is a RATTLE?!
Posted by: Kristen | January 29, 2007 at 12:51 PM
(singing) I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know...
And when you find out, I think you'll be happy. :)
All I can say is, I expect a smile on your face any day now.
We love you!
Posted by: JChase | January 29, 2007 at 12:41 PM
Drew is scrumptious!
And your in-laws still suck!
That about sums it up for me.
Posted by: juliness | January 29, 2007 at 12:11 PM
He sure is cute!
NOTHING? I mean really they must be really mean cold heartless people to get nothing! I mean even IF they were like "ok they are living here for free that's all the present they deserve" (which is fuckin cold and heartless to begin with) but seriously, a little outfit or teadybear wont break the bank I don't think. WTF?
Posted by: Maniacal | January 29, 2007 at 11:57 AM
Oh my god - I'm blown away by how darned cute he is!!!
(Do not tell Kyle I said that. My sanity cannot handle another baby.)
You know what I find really strange? This is their grandson - their son's baby too. Maybe they're waging a passive-aggressive war on you, but on their son too? That really IS fucked up.
As I said before, I wish there was something more I could do to help. You can count on me to keep listening, and you know I've got plenty of PPD experience - plus moving with a newborn in tow, TWICE.
Posted by: mothergoosemouse | January 29, 2007 at 10:21 AM
*turdsuckers*
Now, THAT'S a good one.
Just when you think you hit the basement of in-law behavior... Whoops! There's a disgusting crawl space to explore underneath. If you live there long enough, you'll end up in Australia, I'm sure.
Hang in there, kid.
Posted by: BFF | January 29, 2007 at 08:19 AM
I'm sorry they are being such a-holes. Wish I could help! But one look at that baby makes my uterus hurt. What a cutie!
Posted by: Mrs. Chicken | January 29, 2007 at 08:00 AM
Families are such a pain in the ass arent they?!?! Hang in there!
He is absolutely precious. How is Q doing at her new postition as "Big Sis"!?
Posted by: Jaime | January 29, 2007 at 06:44 AM
he's beautiful.
good goin'.
also: I hope to god you're able to get outta that freakshow house soon.
xoxo Deb
Posted by: lildb | January 29, 2007 at 02:27 AM
He is so adorable!
My inlaws never by anything for my little ones unless it's their birthday or Chrismas.
On the bright side, if they don't buy for the baby, then you don't have to worry about the sweet big sister feeling left out because they didn't even think to bring her a little tolkin (sp?) "big sister" present. Oh, that was heart breaking.
Hang in there.
Posted by: Kara | January 29, 2007 at 12:20 AM
>>Do you find everyone around you to be irritating? Um. Yes. But how is that different than before I had the baby?
Lol! Kristen you are a gem, and your kids know it.
Posted by: Lady M | January 29, 2007 at 12:20 AM
ohh, yummy yummy baby. BTW, what does your baby girl think of him??
WHEN you move, and you have your own space, life will be oh so much better. I am truly sorry for no one making a huge deal out of the baby in that house, he IS a huge deal and a new mommy should be made to feel special. *hugs*
I hereby promise to make you a blue stork no matter how old he is when you move. And dammit, I want to see a picture of it in your yard, or on the door of an apartment, whereever. :)
Posted by: Shannon | January 28, 2007 at 11:29 PM
Definitely an in-laws headache. I feel for you. That situation sucks donkey balls sideways.
At least you have an adorable, stylin' little dude there.
Posted by: FishyGirl | January 28, 2007 at 10:42 PM
You expect a baby. You get what you were expecting. You expect humane and decent treatment from THE BABY'S GRANDPARENTS and you get nothing. I think you have every right to kvetch and complain for real. It's unexcusable, and you deserve better. ((HUGS))
Posted by: Kvetch | January 28, 2007 at 10:00 PM
you are so cool (in the warm kind of way!). i read what you write here and i am always left wishing you and your family so much love and so many good turns. take care of yourself.
ps. drew is beautiful!
Posted by: gigi | January 28, 2007 at 09:18 PM
So sorry that you have to deal with such bullshit during what should be such a happy time for the entire family.
Those people should be hung out to dry - by their stinky toe nails.
Posted by: Mama G | January 28, 2007 at 09:17 PM
Wait until he gets his package from Auntie Tracey. Oh baby. He's gonna be sooooo cute.
And your headache? It's a "oh God please get me the fuck out of here" headache. No doubt about it.
Posted by: tracey | January 28, 2007 at 07:38 PM
I predict Drew is going to launch a major blogosphere baby wave with all that yummy cuteness!
So sorry about your in-laws' boorish behavior. Turdsuckers...
(I must admit, he does look stylin' in his new duds!)
Posted by: Izzy | January 28, 2007 at 07:20 PM
Sending you positive vibes, Kristen. I know it's not much, but I'm thinking of you and hoping that you can get the fuck out of there really soon.
He is ADORABLE. :)
Posted by: mamatulip | January 28, 2007 at 07:17 PM
oh he's so incredibly cute! awwww
I can't believe how wretched your in-laws are - I'm so sorry. I wish there was somewhere else you could live!
Posted by: rachel | January 28, 2007 at 06:25 PM
Gorgeous, gorgeous boy you got there. And never apologize for simply voicing what would make any one of us (with or without raging hormones) would find pretty awful.
Hugs to you...
Posted by: joy | January 28, 2007 at 06:25 PM
He is adorable! I hope you feel better soon!
Posted by: Jill | January 28, 2007 at 06:18 PM
He is delicious!
As to your inlaws, all I can say is what the hell is wrong with them? Hope you can rise above it.
Posted by: crazymumma | January 28, 2007 at 06:04 PM
Oh my gosh! The little newborn monkey toes!
My ovaries!
(Think about the sleepless nights, Jaelithe. MONTHS OF SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!)
Okay. Phew. That was a close one.
I am not sick of reading posts about your in-laws. I am, however, sick of your damn in-laws. They are making me grateful for my in-laws. And I already sent you a few of their choice quotes.
I think it is absolutely, positively purely evil for family members to deliberately add more stress to the life of a woman who just had a baby. And I cannot fathom their indifference toward their grandchildren. There are so many grandchild-less people out there wishing and longing for grandchildren. Even if they don't like you, if they were anything resembling human beings they ought at least to be able to muster some sort of affection for the kids.
Posted by: jaelithe | January 28, 2007 at 05:49 PM
What an adorable little baby!!! I just want to squeeze his little cheeks!!
I hear you on the in-laws sweetie... I'm living with mine and I'm 4 months prego. It's not fun!!!
I decided to go with a midwife and my mother in law is having a frigin' stroke about it. Oh well!!
Posted by: The Fashionable Housewife | January 28, 2007 at 05:40 PM
OMG, K, he's just lovely. And I am a shit friend for not beign in touch before this. No excuses, no denial. Shit. friend.
But I did think of you while at the market in Camb today and picked up a little something for BOTH of the munchkins. No idea where to send though, so if you would be kind (and forgiving) enough to e-mail me you raddress, that'd be great.
Many congratulations and SO much love to you (and the huz both). D says congrats too.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by: HarLee | January 28, 2007 at 05:16 PM
No one is that cold without intent. What you describe sounds like a passive-aggressive war.
Posted by: Johnathan | January 28, 2007 at 05:15 PM