Every Once in Awhile, Someone Gets it Right

It seems as though a day doesn't got by that I don't get at least one email like this in my inbox.

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Hi!

I love your blog Motherhood Uncensored, or I think that's what it's called and I think that your readers would really like to know about a fantastic contest for this Ridiculously Stupid and Totally Uninteresting Movie or Product cool thing. I don't have anything to offer you -- you know free stuff, money, or actually any incentive whatsoever to post this on your blog, that I have never, in fact, actually read. I'm just spamming bloggers today and you happened to be on my list. If you have any questions, feel free to email me. I have included a ridiculously longass press release below for your perusal.

Sincerely,

Joe PR Person From Hell

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Now look. Don't be all "Oh I wish I got emails like that." Because, guess what. No you don't. I promise. It's not flattering. It's actually bothersome because not only are they wasting their own time, but they think we're so silly that we would just post an announcement about something on our blog about something totally unrelated to anything we EVER write about.

And not even one free thing offer.

So really, what's the incentive? Do my readers really want to know about "Meet the Robinson's?" And if I tell them to go (even though I've never seen it because you didn't even offer me free tickets to go), do you really think my readers are going to run to the theater crying, "Motherhood uncensored told us to come. So it must be good."

Right.

I'm not a free shit whore, but let's get real. Most of the time with these emails, there's not one bit of free shit to be had. I mean at leaset make it tempting. Throw in some KY Jelly or something.

But then there are the smart ones. Those are the ones that read your blog and email you about stuff that you've actually written about. And then they get rewarded.

Learn from your peers, my PR people.

And so, recently I complained about the utter uselessness of the bulb aspirator. And wouldn't you know, a few days later, I had a lovely email from the folks at Nose Frida. A few commenters had actually recommended it so I was anxious to try it. And so the nice man sent me some. A lot of them, to be exact.

And so, the snot sucking addict that I am, I tried it without hesitation. And let me just say, I am Nose Frida's new bitch. It rocks. Seriously, if it was a man, I'd marry him. Yes you still need saline drops but all you do is stick it up to your kid's nose and suck out the boogers through a tube (Don't worry. They don't get anywhere near your mouth people). The harder you suck, the more snot you get. As you might remember, I'm an experienced sucker (heh), so I did well.

No squeezing the bulb, trying to line it up with your kid's tiny nostril, and no 4-hour cleaning sessions.

And so I'm happy to tell everyone about Nose Frida. In fact, I'm on the prowl for kids with runny noses. I have a bona fide Nose Frida addiction. I'd even wear a shirt if they'd send me one. And I'd happily spend $1000 of their money if they sent it to me too (hey, can't hurt right?).

So, kudos to you, smart PR man. You read my blog, you felt my pain, and you filled the void. May others with much money, power, and shoes (preferably size 10 open toe sandals) do the same.

The winners have been chosen!

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My thanks to Self Made Mom and Rookie Mom for honoring me with the Thinking Blogger Award. I wasn't being an ass by not recognizing it. I am honestly just not thinking well these days (no pun, really). Here were my picks. And the always thoughtful (I swear, no pun) Mrs. Chicken, nominated me for the Blogger's Choice Award. I fear Meryl Streep (aka Mir) is kicking all of our asses, but it's well deserved.

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Please visit my sponsors: Baby Dagny and Mama Needs It -- two great mom-owned bizzes that deserve your love!

Comments

[Sara Bonafiglia]

I am a new mother and I need help! My sick little baby daughter is so congested.I heard about this site so I thought I would come to you. I am aware that you have 3 Nosefrida's that your giving away. I want to thank you for the opportunity to even have the chance to recieve one. She is almost 5 months and I tried the bulb aspirator. I've been struggling with her to even get it near her face! Now I understand it can be more harm than good. I explained this product to my husband and he laughed while telling me to enjoy my snot shot! Please help me to prove him wrong. Again, thank you for your consideration. Sara

[Karen]

My kids are too big for this now. But you know, it would have been so helpful to my mother when I was little and used to stick peas up my nose!

[Kristen]

Your mouth goes nowhere near the boogies.

And psssttt.

It's oddly satisfying.

:)

[A]

I don't know...will my son also scream when he sees the Nose Frida? If you don't think he will, sign me up!

[Angie]

Is this one of those things we're going to look back on in fifty years and say, we were such idiots? I'm sorry. I don't think I can suck anything out of my kid's nose. Does it work on snake venom, too? 'Cuz THEN it might be useful. Here in Chicago.

I had difficulty focusing on anything past these words and all their possible combinations: "free shit whore"

Love your blog and consider me de-lurked.

[reluctant.housewife]

Is it too late? I have a newborn and a toddler...I'm drowning in snot!

[birdgal]

My daughter has had the dreaded runny toddler snot for the past TWO weeks. I use the bulb aspirator but I can't seem to make any headway on the amount of crap residing in her sinuses. I would love to try something new--if your drawing is still open I'd love to enter!

[Kim]

I just ordered two of these on Amazon.com for shower gifts so I don't need one, but I just want to say that Nosefrida is the best! I have used it on my newborn AND on my 3 year old who doesn't blow his nose very well yet. Easy to clean, easy to bring with you, and really not gross at all.....snot on shirt and face is much more disgusting.... Great blog by the way, something different from the other boring ones.....:)

[Kim]

I just ordered two of these on Amazon.com for shower gifts so I don't need one, but I just want to say that Nosefrida is the best! I have used it on my newborn AND on my 3 year old who doesn't blow his nose very well yet. Easy to clean, easy to bring with you, and really not gross at all.....snot on shirt and face is much more disgusting.... Great blog by the way, something different from the other boring ones.....:)

[Kristen]

Hi Hope ~

There's not really a beginning. Just flip through the Categories...

:)

[Overwhelmed!]

Oh, I'd love to try a Nose Frida! Please toss my name into the drawing. :)

I'm a small fish in a big pond when it comes to blogging, but even I'm starting to get a lot of the ridiculous junk mail and it is rather annoying.

I did have a publisher email me and offer me a couple of complimentary books if I'd consider reading them and offering an honest review of them on my blog.

The books sounded interesting, so I said yes! My review was posted on Monday.

Do I think my modest assortment of readers will run out and purchase these books just because I told them to? Probably not. But maybe they'll at least try to find them at their local library. :)

The next time I get asked to review a book, I'm going to request an additional copy to give away to my readers because, let's face it, we all love freebies! :)

[Rachel]

I would love to have a Nose Frida, my son is deathly afraid of the bulb thing, if he even sees it he screams and runs away, so we've resorted to trying to get him to blow his nose (he's 27 months) but thats pretty futile. He's got a nasty cold now and since I can't suction his nose and he doesn't adequately blow it, the snot runs down the back of his throat and he coughs it up. I have spent the last week and a half cleaning up spit up from everywhere. And did I mention I am 8 months pregnant?? So I am about to have 2 snotty nosed little ones to use it on. Pick me!

[Dawn]

I need need NEED one of those - my son wakes up every morning with sns ... snotty nose syndrome & I have to resort to "The Bulb" . It's just not right to do to an innocent 8 week old!

[Hope]

Hi There,

I just found your blog and really enjoy it. Am I the only moron who can't figure out how to read it from the beginning? Please somebody help me out.

[kate]

glad to know SOMETHING works. after a season of nearly poking my daughters eyes out as she dodged the bulb i would love to get my paws (er mouth) on one of those puppies!!!

[fidget]

bwahahaha i had a whole post in the works about this very topic. Im tired of companies expecting me to be a corporate whore for free. Wanna be on my blog? Pay me, send me free stuff, finesse me damn it!

Sure I review products for free sometimes, that's because I found out how kick ass they were on my own - though i wont turn down products or money should those companies stumble across me

and snot sucking

i'm going to probe into that.. My littlest an seems to have some snotty allergy issues

[Kristen]

You, me and the trannies Bossy.

[BOSSY]

Are you really a Size 10 shoe? So is Bossy and as far as she knew it was just her and the Transvestites!

[Julie]

I already bought one in anticipation to use on our baby girl who will be here in 9 weeks! Glad to hear of your approval - I guess I "picked" a good one!

[Susan]

This is awesome! I work with someone from France and he was telling us about this exact thing, but couldn't remember what it was called and I had no idea what to even type in to search for it. Thanks!

[motherofbun]

Oy... The spammy e-mails.

The snot sucker sounds interesting... Will have to tell my pregnant cousin about this...

[Kind of Crunchy Mama]

Count me in for the snot sucker. I long ago gave up on them. My 8 month old has had the grossest plugged up nose for week now. The only way I can get it unplugged is letting him splash around in the tub till the crust softens up enough so he can sneeze it out.

[Awesome Mom]

These things rock!! I got one after reading about it on Parent Hacks and it truly does suck (in a good way).

[GIRL'S GONE CHILD]

Ahahahahaha Meet The Robinsons! Those fuckers have me on speed-dial, too. Oy.

[Kimba]

Oh dear Lord, I sooo need this thing!! I haven't slept at night since my son was born 7 weeks ago because he get "snorty" at night. I've been convinced its a conpiracy against me, but if I can actually get him to stop snorting & get some sleep when he does I'd be somewhat sane again!

[Kendra]

Ummmm....no thanks. That looks disgusting. I think trying to suck the boogies out with my mouth would make me ralph. I know that there is probably no way they could get to my mouth but it just looks freaky. I think my kids can keep their boogies in there. Ewww

[xcat]

oh jeeze - sign me up for the random drawing - i live in the south, with a 2 month old, who breastfeeds. pollen count: 5000+ on a regular basis ... need i say more?
(over 120 is considered extremely high)

i'm begging. please.
oh. and i love your blog. :)

[K]

SMM ~

I love PR folks -- just the smart ones, like you.

:)

[Melissa]

Ooh, I want to try a Nose Frida! Or I will next time I've got a snotty kid, anyhow. Which is guaranteed to be fairly soon, since I've got a 13 month old and another on the way (well, and two older ones, but they're familiar with tissue).

[BFF]

I'm gonna take your word for it that I'm going to love the sucking of the snot once my kid is born.

Cause right now the thought makes me vurp.

[Susan Helene Gottfried]

Send the nose thing to someone other than me; my kids are too old for it.

I just wanted to let you know I voted for you at Blogger's Choice, although I seem to be the minority of your readers. What's up with THAT?

West of Mars is up for a bunch, too. Kinda cool.

[FENICLE]

I don't need a snot-sucker, but hey PR people - I am a FREE STUFF whore! Feel free to visit me. Make an offer.

http://www.fenicle.com

[Christina]

I also get several of those e-mails, and they end up in my Trash folder pretty quickly. I'm happy to give things a try and give my opinion, if it's relevant to me and free.

So I wonder, if I complain enough about my lack of babysitting, would Sitter City give me a free trial? :)

[Leah]

I would love a Nose Frida too. My 3 year old often gets asthma flare-ups when she gets colds. My 9 month old can't sleep as well at night because of her stuffed nose. I have bought every aspirator I could get my hands on- Nuby, Parents, the ones from the hospital, Safety First, but I've never successfully suctioned off my children's snots. I was considering getting an electronic aspirator but now that I read about this on your blog, this seems a lot more cost-effective and actually effective!

[Selfmademom]

Thanks for the shout out and oh, I guess I'll keep reading your blog even though you slammed my profession :-) The Nose Frida does sound awesome though!

[Kyla]

My two year old vomits about twice a week during the night on average (some weeks none, some weeks more, ect)...it is worse when she is congested. I might be able to give one of those NoseFrida a nice new home.

[Mom101]

Nate is suggesting that I start posting about our horrible, painful lack of a Playstation 3 and all the problems it has caused.

Think it will work?

[Missy]

I have a phobia about anything nose-related. I can't even type sn*t without getting sick. However, I must have a Nose Frida. I don't want my daughter to suffer from being congested any longer simply because I can't deal with it. Please oh please pick me! P.S. love your blog

[Smiling Mom]

Ok, I'm in! So I read your post and I've all but given up on sucking anything out of my daughter's ever-snotty nose. (She's my second, therefore had a never ending cold from August until present.)

This Nose Frida thing looks pretty disgusting, yet genius at the same time. Using the mouth-suck potentially gives me a free hand to wrestle my little one with.

Although I got nauseas when looking at the picture of the doctor actually using this device, I'm oddly intrigued! ☺ -Smiling Mom

[liz]

I'd love a Nose Frida, because I think I could become addicted to it as well. I am constantly on the booger-prowl with my 7 month-old son, and have kept my pinky fingernail longer than all of my others so that I may pick his nose more easily.

Please!

[Bill]

Well, I find it hard to believe all the pictures of smiling children on the nosefrida website while they're getting boogers sucked out... That said, I have to get one for my son, who I can guarantee hates the bulb syringe much more than any of the other commenters' kids. *laugh*

Oh yeah, great blog by the way!

[Andy]

oooh, I've seen those and always wondered how well they worked. You may have just sold me on it. Now I have to figure out where to get one.

Thanks!

[Dooneybug]

Enter me in for the Nose Frida! I have a 10 month old who has had a runny nose since January and is showing no signs of stopping. He hates with a passion the bulb and when he sees me grab a tissue, he immediately plasters his snotty face all over my shirt. Plus I have #2 due in August. I assume there will be lots of snot by the end of the year. I hope I win for the sake of my wardrobe!

[V]

I'd love one! Finally, an end to interrupted sleep (as we scramble every hour for the paci that doesn't soothe because it clogs up the only remaining breathing passages) and the fights that end up in semi-bloody noses (whoops)!

[Tater and Tot]

Oohh - I'll play! I have a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and one due in September. There is snot to be sucked at this Tater Patch!

[MsPrufrock]

Here in the UK I have never seen a bulb aspirator, only the snot sucking apparatus. As an American I had only seen the bulb aspirators before, so I was very wary of the sucking one. I envisioned lumps of baby snot getting stuck in my throat, but thank god it's not like that.

Hurray for the suckers!

[MsPrufrock]

Here in the UK I have never seen a bulb aspirator, only the snot sucking apparatus. As an American I had only seen the bulb aspirators before, so I was very waring of the sucking one. I envisioned lumps of baby snot getting stuck in my throat, but thank god it's not like that.

Hurray for the suckers!

[Much More Than A Mom]

I have one so I'm not entering (I reviewed it here: http://www.theopinionatedparent.com/?p=32) I just wanted to, um, agree with you. It totally rocks.

[Toni]

2 kids in this household in need of some snot sucking. 2 yearold still doesn't know how to blow nose and it is like alligator wrestling when that bulb come out!

[FishyGirl]

5 month old. Breastfeeder. Stuffy from germs brought home by bad big siblings. He cries when he sees the bulb syringe. In the process of one of the daily wrestling, screaming, crying, non-sucking sessions he even got a small bloody nose. Nose sucky thingy would be a good thing. Please.

[mothergoosemouse]

I don't need another snot sucker (what we call them in our house), but HEAR HEAR to the fabulousness of APCO. Every once in a while, we find a PR flack who understands the concept of win-win and (gasp!) has a little respect for bloggers.

(And yes, we've got some other great PR firms collaborating with us at Parent Bloggers. The ones who suck - well, we just ban their IPs.)

[Diatribal]

My little snotbucket could use one, seeing as how we are stuck in an eternal snotty season (read:winter).

[Mike]

Ooh, free stuff? My kid is drooling snot all over the place lately, and I'm about to have another snot maker, due next month. That thing is kinda scary looking though. I'd like to give it a shot though, send one my way!

[divrchk]

I'd love a Nose Frida. My little girl gets stuffy noses and no matter how much I try to use the bulb thing, I can hear it sucking, it's just not strong enough to actually pull the snot out of her head.