Last Night I Had Sex With Your Husband

When I feel the need to wring my husband's neck, I generally try to sublimate my anger in a positive way. I write controversial blog posts that coin new words, I start a new business (or two), and I have hot sexy dreams.

With your husband.

Well, not necessarily your husband, but it could be. That is unless you're married to a hot rock star or a sexy movie star. Because apparently my unconscious likes to screw my friends' husbands. Or the cool dude I work with.

It makes perfect sense to me. Why wouldn't I want to frolic with a guy who loves his wife with every core of his body and chases after his kids any chance he gets without asking for so much as a ball grab and blow job? With my husband bragging about his fantastic superhero ability to get my son to sleep twice in one day (I know, don't fall over), it's refreshing to see someone just play with their kids and be a father without announcing it on a cool t-shirt.

In fact, that's just downright sexy.

And so, I'm having hot amazing sex almost every night. I wake up in my unhooked and milk covered nursing tank and my "never to be seen by anyone except God" underpants all hot, sweaty, and completely satisfied.

The only problem?

The next day when I see these dudes, I get a goofy post-sex smile on my face and I'm blushing like I just had four orgasms in a row.

And really, I sort of did.

They're chatting with me about school, work, and kids, and I'm responding with deeply interesting conversation that in my head sounds like "I just had sex with you. I just had sex with you. I just had sex with you."

There's certainly no reason for any of you to hold onto your husbands. I'm not on the prowl. Plus, it seems the more you hold onto those fabulous men that make your world turn upside down in only the best way possible, the sex I have with them is even better.

Comments

[OneInTheTootTwoIfByFeet]

I'm truly thankful that I am not your husband. Or any of your shrill angry followers. It's one thing to fantasize about other people. It's a little cruel to tell your man when he comes home that you rather take one from someone else. It's unforgivable to tell everyone else on the planet that the huz is inadequate. How demeaning. I hope he's poking one of his buddies overseas.
PS:It's wireless not broadband.

[FAKING HUSBAND]

We know u girls are checkin us out, so we ALL put on our best husband/father routine at the park. Believe me, OUR wives are most likely fantasizing about your WORTHLESS husbands too!

[Living the Dream]

I feel really sorry for you. I feel sorry for your husband, too. I've been married to my husband for 7 years. We've had 3 children (and one each from a previous marriage). Sex just gets hotter and hotter and I can't imagine that any other man could do to my body what my husband does to mine. It is amazing. I actually ENJOY giving him a blow job.
I know that we can't always change our spouse, but it is possible to be married to someone who meets your emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and who helps around the house as much as you do!

[Jen]

Oh God, I miss having sex dreams.

[Angie in Texas]

i'm not married any more, but i have sex dreams about those great dads from school, too! there's nothing sexier than a man who is a good father and a great husband . . . that's some "take your panties off and give them babies some benadryl" sexy!

[Lia]

Oh I so have sex with other's husbands and I love it ;-)

[GIRL'S GONE CHILD]

My $.02? You need to take a lovah. Nothing wrong with a lil some-some on the side, especially if you're not getting it at home. Word.

[Kat]

I honestly used to think this way about just about EVERY man I saw when my husband(at the time) was nowhere NEAR cutting it for me.

I feel for ya hon, it sort of seems to me (based on the themes of your posts lately) that you and your hubs are not connecting like you used to.

In my situation, I finally couldn't take the black and white reality after living in technicolor every night.

So, I got a new television(ahem!) and the reception has never been better!(and no I don't mean a new vibrator!)

Now, I am making up for lost time!

[jaelithe]

Man, I had sex with my husband last night. Does that mean we were in a threesome?

I totally need to tell him he was in a threesome with me and some hot chick I met on the internet.

[Kelly]

I hardly ever have any sex dreams. I feel supremely jilted. I did, however, just have an oral sex dream about Sayid from 'Lost.' It was delightful, but unfortunately stopped short. No orgasm in my dreams, dammit.

(And I totally have the obvious crush on Sawyer anyway, but I'll never look at Sayid the same way again.)

[CrankMama]

Dude. You. Rock.

[Karen]

No wonder he's so tired. I had sex with him this morning, and last night. Plus you? In your dreams?

Biggest. Thrill. Of. Your. Life. Let me tell ya.

Woooooo!

[Jenn]

you are a braver soul than I - or your brain is certainly braver than mine. I'm rather glad it sticks to literary characters. I would be a complete and utter basket case if I had to try and hold my end of a conversation with him or his wife on the day after...

[Asha]

awesome. you boldly go where no mamablogger has gone before!

[nutmeg]

I'm not bringing my husband.

[Mom101]

I wonder if their wives are dreaming about your husband...

[Manic Mom]

CRACKING UP OVER HERE! I love hot steamy, non-husband sex dreams!

[Cheryl]

Being in the throes of early pregnancy, I've been enjoying sex dreams every night. Unfortunately, they leave me so satisfied, I don't have any desire to frolic with my husband. I try to comfort him by telling him that I was dreaming about him, which is almost always true. Apparently, he doesn't want to hear that in my dreams, he got laid, when, in real life, he SO hasn't. I devote every spare minute of my day to sleep, and if I can take care of my sexual needs while I sleep... why mess up a good thing?

[mommiebear2]

Heehee, I see from some of the other comments that I am not alone in this category! Thanks God! ;)

[Damselfly]

So funny cuz my response was going to be exactly like Mel's!

[Dana]

I dream about Chris Noth.....yes, Mr. Big....I know....but in my dreams he's Detective Mike Logan from the Law and Order shows of years ago.

What can I say.... I like the detective type.....

Sex dreams are kind of scary. I have them sometimes where I actually have an orgasm in my sleep. My husband thinks it's the coolest thing ever....I just want to remember what I dreamt about!

[Smiling Mom]

My latest dream was with Barack Obama. Needless to say, he'll be getting my vote! :-)

No, hubby doesn't know. He'd die! These dreams you speak of, are my little secret..along with my friends. and maybe now those in the blogging world. Maybe I'll write a post about it some day. But Hubby doesn't know. and I like it that way!

[Scout's Honor]

Holy Shit! I thought it was just me that fantasized about my friends'husbands. When it's rough going with my mate, it happens so much that in the daylight, I can't even look my friends' husbands in the eyes. They must think I am the most backward, socially ackward woman they have ever met. Call me a Re-Re!

[jennster]

you are a dirty whore... and i have never been so proud. :)

[Blonde Chick]

I love this post!

I love how honest you always are. Good for you! I've had dreams too, but hell, I never tell anyone about them!

Wait... I just did.

[Dena]

Kudos for being so honest. Love the thread. I've had those dreams myself. Very entertaining to say the least!

[Dena]

I hope you don't mind, just started reading this and I love your blog! So funny! This thread is great.. Kudos for being honest. I've had those dreams myself. Very entertaining to say the least.

[fairly odd mother]

Has my sister posted anything yet? Because she will likely tell you this: she TELLS HER HUSBAND when she has sex dreams with their male friends! If I did this, my husband would install nanny-cams all over the house. But, aren't those types of dreams the best? All the fun with none of the real guilt.

[mrsmogul]

My husband might have sex with you cyber way...we do it like once a month because we have a baby that sleeps in between us. I had a sexy dream the other night but I think it was with myself!

[heidi]

I'm with you Mel:) Is it wrong that when I read this title I thought, "Thank God someone did?" Where? Is! My. Libido?

[Dawn]

I got one of those guys... and you can have sex with him in your dreams - I'm cool like that :)

[mothergoosemouse]

I'm not having the sex dreams, but I've got that kind of fabulous husband. You can borrow him - he'll play with the kids (and you...heh).

[Johnathan]

Hey babe, I'm just glad you enjoyed it ;-) .

(We guys who are totally in love with our wives and kids feel the same way about you sometimes.)

[Jennifer]

I wish you were sleeping with my husband, then he'd leave my pregnant ass alone. Well my pregnant va-jay-jay anyway.

[SuburbanOblivion]

Considering I get 2-3 orgasms at least 70% of the time, I wouldn't mind loaning him to ya ;)

[cce]

Wow, you're in big trouble with the husband. My Better Half stopped reading my blog after the 'Doctor Please Supersize my...' post. Maybe, after all this sharing, your husband will also just give up.
Loving this post!

[Jennifer]

Put me on that list too. My goodness, good for you.

[BFF]

AHAHAHAHAHA!!

Wait 'til The Man sees this post! I can only imagine the conversation after THAT one...

lmao.

[mel]

I read the post title and thought "well, at least someone is"
Sign me up for some sex dreams.