You Know You Need a Date With Your Husband When You Have to Describe Him to a Police Sketch Artist and the Picture Ends Up Looking Like Michael Vartan
No, don't get yourselves all in a tizzy. My husband didn't take the fall for the missing duck. It's just between him being gone and me being so tired I can hardly see straight, I sort of forget what he looks like.
I remember having the time and energy to lovingly gaze into his eyes. And chances are I could pinpoint the location of all his prominent freckles with my own eyes closed.
But damn if kids don't kick the living shit out of you? I swear I've aged a good 10 years since having children, and while I have to admit I'm the one who has done the brunt of the physical labor (literally), parenting has aged him as well.
Sorry, honey. Parenting has aged you. (You know, in case he happens to read this post and misquote me).
His hairline goes a little further back and I count the crow's feet instead of the freckles. And while his smile is still the same, it doesn't come out as often. And as I think about it more, either does mine.
How is it that the happiest time of our lives is making us look our unhappiest? I imagine the living with the in-laws doesn't help much, and well, there is the whole spatula, Carnie Wilson thing.
But when it comes down to it, parenting sucks as much out of you individually as it does a relationship. And Lord knows that while I'm crushing hard on Michael, I'd much rather have my husband around. At least that's my story today and I'm sticking to it.
This post is part of a Blog Blast sponsored by E-Harmony Marriage, a new online alternative to marriage counseling (cool, right?) and Parent Bloggers Network. If you'd like a chance to win a $100 Amex Gift Card for a date out with your spouse/partner plus $100 cash for a babysitter, then write your own post "You Know You Need a Date With Your Partner When...." anytime today, send the link to parentbloggers@gmail.com, and we'll pick a winner at random. We're also rounding up all the links too! Click here for more info!
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Go get some butt smacking from the Mominatrix. I'm all introspective today -- you know, trying to make sense of the whole Father-in-Law walk-in incident.
Found my way here via two other blogs, and I have to say, anybody who blogs about MV is perfectly wonderful in my books! Bookmarking you for sure, asnd thinking that it may be time to dig out S3 of Alias again! (he was so marvellously SURLY for most of that . . . mmm)
Of course, you would probably much prefer a date with your actual, tangible husband. I, having none, have to make do with what I've got :P
Posted by: Andrea | June 08, 2007 at 09:31 AM
That post was hilarious. Really enjoyed reading it and laughed a lot. By the way you don't have to be a mum to have a crush on Michael Vartan lots of us single women have a crush on him as well!!!!
Posted by: Fantasy | June 05, 2007 at 05:45 AM
Hey Michael Vartan ain't all that.. .but he probably DOES give good spatula. meanwhile, i'm SO bummed i missed this one!!
as for parenting aging you... all i can do is hang my head, sigh, and say "it's so true it hurts"
Posted by: CrankMama | June 03, 2007 at 05:55 PM
Aww. Yes, I think you could use a date.
And mom101's comment was so sweet. I hope she showed it to her hubs.
Posted by: slouching mom | June 03, 2007 at 10:08 AM
Great post! I love it!
Posted by: Heather | June 02, 2007 at 10:08 AM
Great post. Really, really hilarious. ANd Michael Varton is HOT, so is it really a problem is he becomes your imaginary mate?!
Posted by: AbsolutelyBananas | June 01, 2007 at 10:30 PM
psh. I'm lucky if I remember what *I* look like these days, never mind my husband! If the guy snoring quietly (or not) next to me isn't my spouse, well, close enough.
As long as he takes the dog out for a walk in the morning.
Posted by: Jenn | June 01, 2007 at 04:26 PM
psh. I'm lucky if I remember what *I* look like these days, never mind my husband! If the guy snoring quietly (or not) next to me isn't my spouse, well, close enough.
As long as he takes the dog out in the morning. :P
Posted by: Jenn | June 01, 2007 at 04:26 PM
What Meg said...although it's quite really a travesty that I'm saying this on my fifth anniversary.
Posted by: Kelly | June 01, 2007 at 02:17 PM
I'm feeling so shit-kicked-out-of-me these days! Can I just have a date with myself in a Weston bed?
Posted by: nutmeg | June 01, 2007 at 01:37 PM
Bossy one time posted a photo of her husband on her blog (her GREAT BLOG) and one of Bossy's readers left her this comment: "Is that Bossy's husband with all that Grey Hair???" and then Bossy looked at that photo with fresh jaded eyes and thought, "Jesus, is it?"
Posted by: BOSSY | June 01, 2007 at 01:36 PM
Whenever I see the word "sigoth" I think it's a character from "Battlestar Galactica".
And as a preemptive measure in case my wife reads this post -- she's as beautiful as the day we met (maybe more, since now her hair's not as big).
Posted by: prescott | June 01, 2007 at 10:53 AM
I totally agree with Mom101, mental pictures of people for me rarely ever change, and that includes DH. I can't help but wonder if that same image of him will be in my mind 20 years from now.
Posted by: Paige | June 01, 2007 at 10:33 AM
I agree with mom101. It's sweet that I still think of DH as he was when we met... I sure hope he sees the pre-pregnancy version when looks at me! ha!
Posted by: Mama K | June 01, 2007 at 10:13 AM
I think one of the coolest things about love is that you see your partner as he was and not necessarily how he is.
In other words, my sigoth has more hair, less belly, and he's still 26. I can only hope he sees me the same way.
Posted by: mom101 | June 01, 2007 at 08:36 AM