Because Flying is So Last Year

The benefits of free! awesome! free! flying are really only benefits when you don't have to sit around all freaking day and watch hordes of people that are not you get on the flight that you should be getting on.

Add a terribly sweet but still infant boy and it can lead to public crying fits.

From me.

It was looking up when I easily boarded my 10am flight to Cinncinati and enjoyed a good hour of the Philadelphia Airport runway while we all waited anxiously for Air Force One to land. I have to admit that being able to blame the President for yet another national tragedy (being late to BlogHer) didn't bother me all that much. Plus, my sweet beautiful son slept right through that so he could be wide, awake, and fully able to grab the braids of the lovely woman next to me for the whole entire plane ride.

But who am I to complain? I got to perfect peeing on an airplane bathroom with my son in a mei tai. I got to do a quick shot of water before my son dumped it all over me and the nice lady next to me who spent half the flight trying to fend my son off of her. And I got to stand for the latter half of the flight in the Flight Attendant Galley while I watched them count and recount water bottles with the utmost care and then bark at me for standing in their way.

It was all looking fairly good until I learned that thunderstorms and "air traffic" were causing massive delays and cancellations in Chicago. In non-revenue passenger speak that meant I was going to be shit out of luck.

So I waited. I ate two bites of a McDonald's salad. I checked my email. I bathed my son in anti-bacterial wash. And then realized that the next flight was cancelled and all the rest of them were either cancelled or terribly overbooked.

And don't get me wrong. I've always wanted to spend a night in Cincinnati. But to then do the same thing all over again with the same folks who should have been on flights today was just enough motivation for me to decide to rent a car.

And drive to Chicago.

I'm not exactly a huge fan of five-hour drives, particularly with infants screaming in the back seat, but I figured this was my best option for getting to BlogHer on Thursday night.

It just so turns out that I had briefly met this mother and daughter pair who were also trying to get to Chicago and decided to offer them a ride. They were clearly not axe murderers, and I figured we could split the cost.

Okay, I figured they could entertain my son.

Mommy, there is truly nothing to see in Indiana. Why didn't we drive through Vegas?

But in either case, I walked up to them and offered them a ride, making sure to reiterate that I, in fact, was not an axe murderer myself. (Always a good prerequisite when offering random strangers a 5-hour ride in your rental car).

As it turns out, they were United employees also attempting to do pass travel and so we decided to team up, make the drive, and get our asses to Chicago in a timely fashion.

Timely being five and a half hours in a Ford Focus crammed with three adult people and a teething baby.

I can almost smell the pizza.

But I made it. I am here, in fact still here until tomorrow thanks to overcrowded flights, anxiously awaiting my son's first Chicago poopy diaper (methinks deep dish and rice cereal is a bit binding).

And I'm having a terrible time.

Comments

[Sharon]

If you came anywhere near my place (Indiana) I would have gladly given you a place for respite, but I understand wanting to just GET THERE.

Congrats on your own place...and a new phase in life. Your son is friggin' adorable!

[BOSSY]

Bossy has been telling your story to anyone who will listen. And even when they won't. You are a Superwoman. And a Super Woman.

[Dana Tuszke]

Ugh...driving five hours is awful. I bypassed the four and half hour drive to avoid getting lost, only to have to deal with a Greyhound security guard hitting on me as I waited for my departure bus home. UGh!

[LawyerMama]

It was wonderful to meet you, Kristin! And so sorry for not introducing myself right away. It's just that I'm so egotistic that I think everyone knows exactly who *I* am!

My flight out of Norfolk got cancelled too. I briefly debated driving the 14 hours to Chicago too. I was not going to be kept away from BlogHer. Damnit.

OH & your son is a doll baby.

[kathy]

check out this funny vacation story. is it good parenting? probably not, is it funny? yes. i can relate. http://www.mypetpeeves.com/plog/index.php/archives/2726

[Lotta]

I applaud the moms that brought their kids. I don't know how you did it! You looked gorgeous and so did your sleeping baby - thanks for the condom lollipop!

[My Minivan Is Faster Than Yours]

Love, love, LOVE it! I'm only planning on blogging all year to have an excuse to go next year :)

[whymommy]

Teething baby? Oh no!

But tell us more! How was it? What ELSE did you do, besides humiliate/love on HBM?

Missed you!

[canape]

I heard plenty of stories about the trials of getting to Chicago, but yours wins hands down.

It was honestly a pleasure to meet you and your totally adorable son.

[Mom101]

It's amazing they even took a chance with you. I guess they didn't know what kinds of things you'd do to them if they happened to fall asleep while you were around.

[Melissa P.]

Gosh, that sounds absolutely horrible.
Where is the fun?
I hate that drive to Chicago.
I wish you would have had a better time. You needed it.

[Phoenix]

You guys are horrible....or just dam funny. ;)

Glad you made it. Have a blast.

[Holly]

Oh, geez. You get extra gold stars for persistence and ingenuity!

[Selfmademom]

Did he poop yet? So glad I got to meet you in the flesh!

[Mark]

I was lucky enough to make it on the earliest (6AM) BWI-ORD flight on Thursday morning as a BP-8A and made it to ORD after being put in a holding pattern over Indiana as O'Hare was closed. I too grabbed a car for my final destination as the next two flights were cancelled and the rev ripple affect meant that I wasn't going to get there in the forseeable decade.

Made it back home to BWI this morning as the flight was fairly wide open.

Good luck on your BP adventures.

[Heather]

Yeah, well I'm sure your BlogHer weekend won't come close to the hoots and hollers I'm having at my who-need-blogher weekend.

snorty snort snort