The Best of BlogHer 2007 Awards

Most Boring Bloggers Who Were Most Unlikely to Almost Get Thrown Out of the W Hotel Because They Were So Boring: The MBT crew as clearly evidenced to your left.

Most Cheap Economical Swag: The autographed tampons from The Sarcastic Journalist. Tampax should send her oodles of money.

Cutest Couple: Drew and Juniper, canoodling at the cocktail party.

Best Art Piece Not at Chicago Museum of Art: Her Bad Mother: A Still Life

Best Swag for Eliciting the Longest and Most Unncessary Stories About Vasectomies: My lollipop condoms.

Best Swag for People Accidentally Thinking Was Candy and Then Realizing That it Wasn't: My lollipop condoms.

The Swag Most Likely to Cause an Uproar Before Being Stuffed into a Trashcan: The BlogHer sponsor Butterball's potholders.

Hottest Mommy Blogger: Karl from Second Hand Tryptophan.

Shameless Whore That Had to Be in Every Freaking Picture: SueBob's red stapler. Damn that bitchy office essential.

Most Informative BlogHer Session: The taxi ride in which I learned that uncircumcised penises are easier to jack off. Who knew?

Most Uncomfortable Moment: Every single time someone complained loudly about PayPerPost, BlogHer Conference Sponsor.

Most Annoying Part of BlogHer: The 157 PR people chasing you down because "you must be a mommy blogger since you have a baby." Except this one, of course.

Most Succulent Breasts: A tie between BlogHer Sponsor Butterball's display turkey and the slew  of breastfeeding bloghers in attendance. Oh it's real.

Blogger Who You Thought Was Not At All Like You Thought She Was But Was So Freaking Hot You Could Lick her: Ruth Dynamite.

Best Snub By a Company Who Clearly Does Not Know Their Mom Bloggers Very Well: Real Simple hassling Lindsay and Yvonne at their private party and taking back their swag. Can you say immediate subscription drop?

Blogger Who Used to Blog But Doesn't Anymore But Needs to Start Another One Like Nowly: Kristin, formerly of TallnLucky. C'mon girl. We're all waiting to add to our feed readers.

Most Unlikely Blogger to Share a Sex Story that Involved Dildos: Dana from The Dana Files. Even conservatives like hot crazy sex apparently.

The Blogger Who is Clearly the Opposite of Her Blog Name: SJ from I-Asshole. Um, so not.

Best Emergency Baby Toy from a Blogger: Lawyer Mama's maxi pad with wings. Thanks for helping a sister out.

Disclaimer: These pictures are not mine and I'm not laying claim to them. I found them on Flickr and was too lazy tired to write down the folks who took them. If you indeed took these pictures and would like credit, email me and I will gladly put your link up.

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[Devra]

That's it. Everyone send me their potholders. I'm going to make a frock out of them and next year I am winning "Best Dressed" dammit.

[slouchingmom]

All I can say is that it must have been some taxi ride.

Oh, and dibs on Ruth Dynamite. I was crushing on her first. ;)

[Gina]

I live in Chicago, so I was thinking of attending this. I haven't had the guts to make my mommy-blogs public yet though. Right now they are safely tucked away on my private Myspace page where my work/family/nonfriends can't access them.

Friends have encouraged me to pursue this, but I figure that if I never get the guts to do so, at least my memoirs might be published posthumously by my children, and only then will they know all the dirt on me.

Maybe I'll be ready for BlogHer next year... and hopefully I'll get to meet all the other Mommies like me then. This looked fun.

[OMSH]

I was told I was linked for vasectomy talk, but I PROMISE I only asked for the lollipop in lime green - NO VASECTOMY TALK. :)

And as soon as I got home, I gave it to my husband who is anxiously awaiting its use.

[slackermommy]

Now these are my kind of awards!

[kerflop]

I'll take the potholder over last year's BE JANE's any day.

[Kristen]

Tiff -- WHAT??? I feel like the outsider :)

And Kendra -- I'm not sure about a book deal, but I definitely feel as though it's a place for all women bloggers.

[Ruth Dynamite]

You flatter me, Miss Knock-Out Gorgeous Just Had a Baby Bombshell, you.

So great to finally meet you. (Real Simple blew it. Big Time.)

[tiffany]

um, this is my favorite post-blogher post so far. no one knows this...because i was a huge pussy...but, i was there! i did meet karl and yvonne, and they were beyond lovely. aside from that, i can only say i have already vowed to be less of a pussy next year, and, you didn't know uncircumcised penises are easier to jack off? maybe i'm more of an outsider than i thought.

[Kendra]

I didn't attend but pose the question...was it worth it? Was it great and wonderful and you're going to get a book deal soon?? Or was there really something important that I missed? Is it really the place for "less well-known mommybloggers" like myself or only big name bloggers like you?

[Kristen]

My kid tried to eat your tampon.

I guess we're even.

heh.

[sarcastic journalist]

My kid tried to eat your condom. Ahh, yes.

[Selfmademom]

I can't BELIEVE I didn't get a shout out for shlepping that damn PNP to and from the swanky W. Geeeezzz... Just kidding. I'd carry that Graco thing over hot coals for you. And your yummy babe. Nice to meet you!

[Heather]

Man, I really hate to miss a party. And that butterball potholder....hawt!

I'm just gonna change my profile picture to Mr. Grinch whenever I comment on these blogher posts I'm reading about. i'm so green with envy! Puts my HogHer party to shame.

[Jackie]

Love the lollipop condoms! Saw them in the pictures on (literally) Her Bad Mother :-)

[BOSSY]

Bossy couldn't get enough of what she refers to as The Butterball Turkey Incident. Nnnnn gahhhhh.

[Jenn]

nice showing! glad to see there was a good, solid Canadian contingent there (but, tsk, tsk! all from Toronto?!)

[Kristin]

That conference made me want to start my blog up again in the worst way. Your award just rocketed that feeling.

You are so sweet, Kristen, so gentle and easy to talk with. I really loved meeting you.

[Redneck Mommy]

Is that me doing something lurid in the photo? It must be photoshopped. Because I was nothing, if not the poster child for grace and decorum that entire weekend.

After all, I am Canadian. We are GOOD girls up here.

(And thanks for the condom...my children would like to say thanks as well...)

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Good times.

I am shamed that I didn't get any awards. I will have to try harder next year.

[Sandra]

Love these. And we are so very boring.

Now ditch Atlanta and move up to T.O. with all the boring, whoring, Canuck-babes. You know you want too.

Mwah

[Kristen]

Lara -

Yes. You indeed win.

Most thoughtful blogger not in attendance that should have been in attendance.

[Lara]

best card-giver not in attendance but sending cards with other bloghers such as, for example, lady m: me!

right? right? do i win?

[Karl]

Wow, I'm honored. There were SO many hot mommybloggers there. So many fantasies running around in my head now.

[Mrs. Chicky]

Karl was, hands down, the hottest mommy blogger there. Rwarr.

It was wonderful to meet you and that delicious baby of yours. Because of him my baby clock actually starting ticking. Hard.

[Dana]

Acceptance speech is up.

I'm going straight to hell.

http://thedanafiles.com/2007/07/31/we-interrupt-this-blog/

[motherbumper]

Woo hoo my peeps won something! Damn those W folks are so uptight, breaking up our quilting bee and all.

[Lady M]

Kristen, you are even more fabulous in person than online. It was good to see you again and admire baby Drew.

[Kristen]

They knew it wasn't you Lena because your hair was WAY better than mine, even with the faux mullet ala pig tails.

Oh, and the boobs thing too.

No baby attached to them, that is.

:)

[LawyerMama]

Love the awards. LOVE them!

Real Simple took back schwag???? WTF?

Kristin, I completely love you because you let me take that picture with the maxipad. It's priceless.

I think I'm going to burn my Butterball pot holder and film it for my blog.

[VDog]

Nice round up! Maybe I can make it next year....

[Lena]

I have no idea why Real Simple shut us out. I mean, I WAS wearing my Kristen Chase name tag.

[Y]

Dude. Just wait til Lindsay writes her post about the Real Simple people.

Oh my God.

"THE BAR IS CLOSED!"

[Kristen]

I think you mean "Worked an office"

hehe.

[Suebob]

The stapler is a shameless whore? It told me that it worked in an office to pay its way through college!

[jen]

brilliantly awarded.

[PunditMom]

Yeah, those Real Simple people were horrible. I got there late, but they made sure that they scooped up the swag bags so that those of us without a name tag couldn't get one. I'm so done with them.

And who know maxi-pads were so multi-purpose?!

[Momish]

Great awards, definitely gives a great picture of the event for those of us who missed it this year! God how I wish I was there!

[Christina]

Gotta agree about SJ - it was lovely to talk with her.

And Real Simple took away their swag after giving it to them? WTF?

I actually had a PR guy chase me down outside Navy Pier to get me onto their list because I had a baby with me. Sheesh.

[Jenni]

Best Snub By a Company Who Clearly Does Not Know Their Mom Bloggers Very Well: Real Simple hassling Lindsay and Yvonne at their private party and taking back their swag.

SAY WHAT? I gotta hear this story!!!!

[joy]

I am very glad to be able to, uhm, *inform* you;-)

[becky]

must work harder to get on the list next year. :)

thanks for the tips about your sling. i'll be checking it out.

[David Wescott]

Fantastic to finally meet you, Kristen. Funny, you never see reviews like this after the other conventions I attend... ;)

[Mom101]

Also the cleaning woman at the W better cook because she's getting a whole lot of swag from me including that potholder.

[Suburban Turmoil]

Yeah, that was weird! Tell us to come on in, give us nametags and then act all nasty and take away our swag AND OUR LIQUOR! Gah!

It was great meeting you! Hope to see you again soon. :)

[Mom101]

I want to hear all the acceptance speeches now. Especially Dana's.

[SJ]

SHH, you're going to give me a good rep. It was nice to meet you. I am enjoying looking at your lollypop, which currently lives on my nightstand. And it gave me an opportunity to talk about STDs with my kid this morning! Woo!

And I have to say...compared to Blogher 06, it was better seeing butterball telling me to eat, than all the weight loss stuff that was there last year! And I do like to roast turkeys. I shocked the woman at the table by telling her that. Of course I didn't tell her that I live in snotty Seattle and I by organic heirloom ones.

[mothergoosemouse]

Must work harder to attract attention (negative or otherwise) next year. Maybe if I eat a maxi pad I'll get an award too.

[Her Bad Mother]

Dude. You give me an award and still you can't link to me? I WAS HUMILIATED FOR NOTHING???

(kidding of course. you knows that I loveses you.)

[Dana]

I even have a photo of my naked breast in Erin's Tit Brigade at Flickr. All the Liberal/Progressive Mamas are corrupting me. Shame, shame, shame!

[MammaLoves]

I'm loving the awards.

The whole Butterball presence creeped me out from the "real" turkey to the lovely potholders.

I'm a mommyblogger so I must roast turkeys, right.