Why is Big Always Better?

I'm convinced that certain things are most definitely better when big.

Bouncers. I don't want some skinny short dude breaking up my bar fights thank you very much.

Drinks. I have never sent my wine glass back because it was too full.

Parking spots. I drive right by the small ones in my Mom-UV and curse them.

And, um, *ahem* ...

Sausages. Big is definitely way better.

But babies? Why all the fuss over a big baby?

I clearly have very little to do with my son's sizeable presence. I feed him when he's hungry.

Woo. Now that takes talent.

But the responses from people I do, don't, and hope to never know seem to indicate otherwise.

"Wow, he is really big. How did you do it?"

Er. He cries and I put a boob in his mouth. Yawn. It's exhausting (um, actually, it kind of is).

"He's in 12-18 month clothes. You must be so proud!"

Yes. Clearly he has a better chance at getting into Harvard now. Do they have a spot for that on the application? "Extra Curricular Activities: Avid breastfeeder at age 6 months. Liked both breasts equally."

I'm not saying I don't appreciate the compliments. His thunder thighs do wonders to distract from my big ass that coincidentally Dunkin Donuts Chocolate Glazed and Turkey Hill Cookies n' Cream Gallon packs are unknowingly sponsoring.

So why this obsession with big? And why only certain things?

I mean, my husband loves the big milk jugs but when I give my big gigantic hemmorrhoids a "shimmy shake," he runs screaming. Hey, but at least I actually had something to do with those.

"Why thank you. I earned those pushing my gigantic son out of my crotch."

But the size of my son (and his penis) doesn't lend himself to anything having to do with my mothering prowess. So how about recognizing my true size-related mothering achievements?

My big roly gut took a good nine months to sculpt. I coaxed that big shit out of my daughter's ass with nothing more than a lollipop and a pair of princess shoes.

And my son's big brain.

Definitely from my side of the family.

Comments

[Dr Elysee advice on hemmorrhoids]

Hemorrhoids are veins in the rectum which prevent stools from passing outside at any time. Why do people consider it a disease?

[Laura McIntyre]

I feel the same about my small first daughter, at 2 she is 21lbs and people feel the need to comment ALL THE TIME, i have had a million suggestions on how to "fatten" her up and once a rather tearful argument with another mum about how me breastfeeding was akin to child abuse and i should put her on formular - her health carers are happy with her gain, she is small and eats fine so why should anyone care what i do

[B]

After two tiny babies, I can say I LOVE having a big one. It's just damn cute when they are wrapped in all that doughy skin. But, yeah, nothing to do with what an awesome mommy you are, but congrats on that too!

[mama k]

I remember those comments.
Yup. He's big. I'm big and so is his dad. Shocker.

Of course now that he is super tall but has thinned out a bunch I keep getting the "he's so tall comments" instead.

I wonder if everyone would be so impressed with a big girl? I think it all plays into the stereotype of a big, strong boy and a petite, delicate girl.

[Mommy babble]

Both of my boys were huge and I remember all the comments. The best was "Are you sure you're just nursing him?" Yeah, because I might be forgetting all the other food he's eating. LOL My youngest is only a year, still nurses pretty much like a newborn, and weighs as much as his 3 year old brother. LOL

[BirdieRoark]

I so remember this when my son was a baby. He weighed 20 lbs at 6 months. Mind you, carrying a 20 pounder who doesn't have full body control is a pain in the ass. Literally, holding the kid for 30 minutes would pinch my sciatic nerve and I'd feel it in my butt.

And it always grossed me out when people would equate it to my breastmilk. "You must be making pure cream." EWWW. leave my boobies out of it, puh-lease.

[Jennifer]

Scaring your husband with your shimmy shakin' 'roids! I think I'm going to try that! Although, I do like sausages....

[BOSSY]

Bossy likes Big. She's compensating for her small bank account.

[zellmer]

People see babies and feel compelled to say something, whether they have something intelligent to say or not. It's so annoying. Same thing with pregnant women. I walk into meetings and people actually go "oh my god, you're huge!" What happened to thinking it, but not saying it out loud?

[Heather]

I never understood it either. We have a lot of big babies in our family, so our sense of what is "big" is warped. I have 11 nieces and nephews and our daughter. Some might be more solid than the others, but every last one of them is always so tall that most people think they are about 2 years older than they are. Our one nephew looked like he was 5 or 6 when he was only 3 years old. People asked my SIL why he talked funny, "Well he's only 3 years old!"

[Mom101]

Mea culpa, I couldn't stop telling you how big he was.

But seriously people...HE IS BIG.

Also, Harvard bound.

Now let's hear more about these bar fights you get into.

[joy]

my Sam is HUUUGE. And it's all down to me. Completely.

(can't wait to show you a pic, K)

[Mrs. Chicky]

Never did understand the fascination with big babies myself. My daughter was "petite" and I heard about it often from my relatives. Oh, I heard them loud and clear, mainly from what they didn't say. Eh, what do they know?

And, um, can I have one of those donuts?

[Sharon]

Interesting...I had a complex whenever I went to the doctor's office (sometimes still do) because my daughter was on the "low end of normal". In fact, one time she lost weight and I remember feeling like they were thinking I was a bad mother because my baby was losing weight! Of course, that was more my perception than anything else.

I took her in for her two year check up and she STILL had not made it to 25 lbs (she was 24 lbs), but they said she moved into another percentile (up) for height. Now I see that she is just a thinner build and might be taller. She eats like a horse...

[Kristen]

Mmmmmmmmmm donuts.

:)

[Kristin]

I know what you mean about the baby size thing. My 9 month old daughter is a bit of a chunker. I love her and all her chunkyness of course, but I'd love her the same no matter her size. People are always in awe of her (okay, she's not huge, in the 94th percentile) and keep telling me "that just means she's healthy" Okay, well while she is healthy .... why is it so gosh darn important that she's big? It irritates me to now end because when my 3 yr old son has always been on the smaller side (15th percentile). So does that mean he's unhealthy? I feed both my children the same. I do not starve him and feed her. It gets so annoying with all the comments on size. I just wish one day someone would come up to me and say "Oh look how cute you are! Look at those rolls! That just means you're healthy!!"

[Phoenix]

LOL too funny. I think the big boy thing works both ways. A co-workers wife had a baby last week and he's just come in today. Our offices are next to each other and I've heard 7, literally seven people ask him why his son is so small. Was he early? Were you a small baby too? Dude, like it matters. People are just weird.

I'll tell you Kristen, the real thing I got while reading this post, is that I super want to go to Dunkin Donuts now. I have a one track mind.

[Susan Getgood]

My son was fairly normal size at birth, until about 7-8 months and then he just GREW AND GREW. At 9 months, he was the size of a baby twice his age, but of course, he wasn't and people were always giving us odd looks like why isn't that child walking. He's now 7 and while the growth rate has slowed he is still WAY taller than most kids his age. The hardest part is the expectations people have -- he looks older than he is so they expect him to act older as well.

The funniest thing is that one of his good friends is on the smallish side, and taking the two of them someplace together can be amusing.

[Cindi]

Some people are so stupid! Who the hell cares what size they are?!?!? My daughter was the Michelin baby and now she's a good 2 inches teller than the rest of her second grade class. Like that is of some importance, right?

What really matters is that they are happy, healthy and LOVED. From reading your posts, I know that your kids get all three in abundance from you, so tell those morons to shove you know where...Heh :)

[Damselfly]

I know what you're saying, LOL! And yet if you weren't taking such good care of him, he wouldn't be so healthy. When my son's growth started slowing down around month 8, it made me a little sad....

[Taste Like Crazy]

Yep, I get that too. Cara will be nine months on the 3rd and she's wearing 12-18 month clothes too.
The thing that bothers me is that people automatically equate big babies with advanced babies.
Though that's the case in our situation (sorry, I had to throw that in there) it's not the case for every kid. Just like not every small baby is stupid.
But, I'm noticing more and more that most adults are. ;)

[mothergoosemouse]

Big sausages are definitely good. Can't argue with that.

[Hyphen Mama]

My son topped 20 pounds at 6 months and has been in size 18-24 month clothes since that time. It's not the comments from strangers that annoy me, the WORST insults come from my mother-in-law and father-in-law who are constantly aghast at how HUGE he is. They are both 5'8" and their combined weight tops 470 pounds. My reminder that his size just might be genetic doesn't seem to stop their michelin man comments.

[Kristen]

True. Interesting gender thing here. You don't often hear -- "My what a big solid girl" ...

[Smiling Mom]

Big hemorrhoids. I so relate!

[Suburban Oblivion]

I have always said if you asked how big a person should be at 30 years old, they'd look at you like you had two heads. Why is it so different for babies?

[AndreAnna]

I'm 5'9 and a solid size 16. My husband is 6'4 and a solid 280. We both have some squish, but on the whole look pretty formidable. However, our baby is, and always has been tiny. At 14 months, she is barely 20 lbs and though she almost puts three words together already and has a vocabulary better than Fergie, people ignore this and manage to insult me and my husband on so many levels: "Wow, you two have a small kid?" or "How did she come from you guys?" or "I can't believe you both made something dainty"

Nice. Ignore her intelligence and call me fat. Yay for the common people.

[2shews]

What's interesting-- because I had a Michelin boy myself-- is that the same enthusiasm does not seem to apply when the baby is a girl.

People tend to think you've got the kid suckling Snickers Bars.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Ironically, (or not), my daughter is a skinny minny. And people ask me if I'm starving her to feed my son.

Nice, right?

[VirtualSprite]

I'm with Wendy... my Goober was really runty. And I would totally get that bumper sticker.

[Wendy]

Once again, I am on the other end of the spectrum. I grow 'em small, so I must endure the constant witty questions, "Do you ever feed that kid?" Or my personal favorite, "Dont you think you should give him something else besides breastmilk?" Oh really, you think he would like a hamburger at 3 months old. I will get right on that.

Mostly, I just smile politely and tell them how much wear I get out of my kids clothes and shoes. So I suggest you smile sweetly and get a bumper sticker that says my 6 month old can kick your toddler's ass any day of the week.

[halfmama]

We got that too until we were told by the pediatrician at the twins' 3-year checkup that one was "at risk" and the other "overweight." Apparently BMI is important at their age. Now it's not that they eat well; it's that they eat too much.

You can't win.

[Sandra]

The big brain must come from his mama. And I bet his big sense of humour too.

My son was the same. People would say things like you must have REALLY good milk for him to be so big. Ya, um, what?!? Now he doesn't sit still and is a skinny rake and I get the opposite innuendos like I am not feeding him. Fantastic.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Can't wait to see ya, RS!

[Suebob]

You are the Big Crazy, too, and you have proved it with this post. I mean that in a nice way, because you make me laugh Big.

[Christina]

That's odd - we get the opposite. She's always been a big kid, and people say, "Wow, she's big for her age! Is that normal?"

No congrats, just weird looks, like I'm shooting her up with human growth hormone or something. I wonder if it's because she's a girl, and girls aren't supposed to be big?

[Heather]

I'm peeing myself laughing at this, and the post via the link about your mother in law. :)

[angie]

Small babies are a medical nightmare. You never get a moment's rest when your baby is small. You end up consulting with a nutritionist, who immediately implies that your breast milk alone isn't enough. It's really not fun. So, big, when it comes to babies is better.

Until they get so big that the Dr. starts thinking they have some kind of too big brain problem, and they seriously suggest you get a brain scan.

Been there on both sides of the coin.