Every Day Most Definitely Is the Same

Tonight I had great displeasure of hosting Jessica and her two little Joys for pizza, sundaes, and a Wii-Boogie smackdown. I would have invited more people, but they all heard Jessica was going to be there and knowing how incredibly boooooooooring she is, they decided to pass.

And so, I was left alone with her and our children. What a fucking nightmare.

Not only does her kid rip the shirt off Quinlan's back, but then when my daughter dancing her little butt off to "YMCA," she totally mocks her right behind her back. Okay, so it's not a "Y" -- she's 3. Cut the kid a break.

You can't see the screen, but she's obsessively counting her score from her "You're the One That I Want" Performance. Okay, you got 174,000 points which is about half of the comments for one post on your blog. Thanks for rubbing it in.

Her daughter, a little over two, could barely stand up on her own. As you can see in the picture, she had to hold her up most of the night while still obsessing over her points.

And of all the bizarre things in this world, she makes her son dress up like a dog. Don't ask. I certainly didn't.

So if you're all jealous about me living here in Atlanta, getting to hang out with some pretty cool mommy bloggers, don't be.

All they do is bring you tasty tofu salad, wash your dishes, and make you realize that playing video games is far from as lame as it sounds.

We'll be practicing our dance moves, two-part harmony, and extended play temper tantrums, Joys family.

Next time, the tofu's on me.

 

Comments

[Mimipz5wjj]

You crack me up!

I'm totally going to invite myself over next time!

[VDog]

You cracker me up, lady.

[SAHMmy Says]

Laughing my ass off at this post. Found you through Blogflux.

[LawyerMama]

Damn! I'm so jealous I can't see straight!

[Ruth Dynamite]

Good times!

[Redneck Mommy]

FACK.

I knew I lived in the wrong damn part on the continent.

I could have totally kicked your collective arses with my redneck ways....

[Fairly Odd Mother]

You guys are made for each other. Look forward to many more gatherings.

[Lady M]

Clearly, you're having no fun at all. We all need more pink satin skirts in our lives.

[Fenicle]

Sounds like an awful time.

[liv]

kristen---you clearly have points up on me. jess didn't dress up like that when she met me at the zoo. and all she was doing was feeding Roo some huge hunks of salami. and trying to act all healthy like with tofu at your house. honestly.

[slackermommy]

You girls know how to partay!

[ewe_are_here]

Hmmmm. I could swear I just read a completely different nicer version of how your afternoon together went down...

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Too funny.

[jen]

that jess...pfffft. all controlling and bossy.

i mean, really.

[canape]

There is NO one in Raleigh. Nada. Not one. I am the Lone Blogger, I'm afraid.

I am possibly more jealous of your Wii though.

[mothergoosemouse]

What a yawner. Only thing that would've made it worse is beer. Lots and lots of nasty ass beer.

[Mrs. Chicky]

Sounds horrible. I know my first impression of Jessica when I met her in Chicago was "Eh, what's the big deal? Why does everyone love her so much?"

Glad you were all able to struggle through.

[Mrs. Chicken]

I am so freaking jealous. You AND Jessica. I am so missing out by living in this crapass town.

[Oh, The Joys]

Ah, yes. The dull family joy.

So happy to bore you with our MAD Wii SKILLZ. Mwa ha ha!!!!

[Kristen]

THAT is indeed a baby cage.

It works wonders.

For kids and dogs.

[the new girl]

Cute cuties.
All a y'all.

[Heather]

ohmygawd, I'm seeing green! Green!

Someone turned down an invitation to hang with you two? Impossible. Because I'd drive the 5 hours to do it.

Though I do have to say I do have some fun blogger hang out time myself down here. It was almost a cardinal sin that I had to miss the latest get together this week due to my CRAPtastic diet. Sigh

[Carrie]

Tofu salad AND she did your dishes. Not fair.

Looks like everyone had fun! Lucky You.

[mel from freak parade]

Just remembered Plain Jane Mom is in Northern CA. Damn. What blogger lives in Southern CA, and wants to hang out and do my dishes? Anyone?

[mel from freak parade]

Count me as jealous. :) And she did dishes too?!?! Time to organize some SoCal blogger get togethers. Do you think Erika, from Plain Jane Mom, does dishes?

[Suburban Oblivion]

I'd be jealous, but I got a few words for ya..

Queen of Shake-Shake
Playgroups Are No Place for Children
Velveteen Mind

Mobile, AL is the best kept secret in blogging ;)

[Phoenix]

Sounds horrendous.

But how'd you get her to do your dishes? Bribery? Blackmail? A cookie?

[PunditMom]

:O I'm so jealous! Those of us in DC really need a wild get together like this one!

[Assertagirl]

Sniff. Toronto is pretty jam-packed, but I have yet to find another blogger in Bowmanville.

Looks like you had fun, though! (Is that a cage in your living room?)

[crazymumma]

Ya. I'm a bit jealous. But I am up here in Toronto C.A.N.A.D.A and we have quite a hotbed of bloggers up here.

But damn that looks like fun.

[Suebob]

These posts crack me the hell up.