I'm Holding On For a Hero

*I'm on cre8buzz now. (More updates on our progress at LMJ, if you are following along). If you think you'll miss all the emails you get from Facebook, don't worry. You'll get plenty to make-up for your loss. However, the people are cool, and the profile pages are way better (in my humble opinion). If you decide to join, come find me, but not before you go win a portable DVD player courtesy of these fine folks.

Yes, I know they're evil. Whatever.

--

 

Well you guys all love your Facebook, now don't you? To be honest, I barely used it. The pokes, gifts, questions, and games were a pain in the ass. So for me to say good-bye was not a big deal. In fact, it was one less thing for me to worry about.

And waaaaay less emails.

But since we decided to do something instead of write posts, link the "bad guys," and just hope for someone to notice, I'm surprised at how many people cannot let go of their Crackbook.

Don't get me wrong. I know people use it for work, and when creating my alterego (which is there to fight all injustices against mothers, not just boob issues), I never thought people would just gladly deactivate. Besides, what's 50 deactivations in a sea of over 40 million users really going to do -- mere pebbles at a giant?

I know there are protest groups and email campaigns, and many moms have successfully loaded their breastfeeding pictures onto Facebook without having them banned.

But they still haven't banned photos that ARE clearly obscene. And I haven't heard a peep from Facebook saying "we were wrong" or "we've changed our policy."

And for once, instead of sitting with my ass firmly planted in my computer chair, fingers tapping at the keyboard, I wanted to do more.

For my kids. For OUR kids.

Sure, maybe a part of my motivation was a bit self-indulgent. Feeling helpless, meaningless, and many times pointless in the daily goings on of this earth can motivate people in different ways. For me it was about taking my helplessness and channeling it into a fantastic superhero that can save the good guys. Or at least offer them a gloved hand and a cape of their own.

Helping is empowering. (And it's very good for the bowels, I've found).

So look. If you can't deactivate your Facebook account, then do something that you can. Send nursing photos in. Nurse live or via video. Put up a button. Tell your friends to do the same.

And what about an alternative? I spoke with "The Antman," founder of Cre8buzz (which goes live 10/7/07) and father of two under two (both of whom were breastfed).

Here's what he said to me:

Per our conversation we will absolutely not remove pictures of women breast-feeding from our site and we welcome anyone who feels we are a better alternative to Myspace and Facebook.

Our official position:

Cre8Buzz is the place where people can be seen, heard and found and interact with communities of like-minded folks. We believe that each community has its topics, issues and means of expression that are unique. Therefore, we at Cre8buzz accept all means of expression, including photos, as long as they meet reasonable standards of appropriateness for that community. For Moms, breastfeeding is part of motherhood like dirty diapers and sick kids. We have no issue with members of the Moms community expressing themselves with pictures of breastfeeding.

Chances are you'll need a hero at some point in your life. And a good way to start is to be a hero for someone else.

Comments

[Stacey]

I deactivated mine! Honestly I never used the stupid thing but a lot of people I know online in the digi scrapping world just rave about it. They are nearly all mothers so I enjoyed having a good reason to give them when I deleted my account. I doubt any of them will follow my example but at least they now are aware of the issue.

[Redneck Mommy]

Damn do I wish I had pics of me breast feeding the kidlets.

Wouldn't be the same if I just flashed my boobs would it?

[lara]

i'm kind of at a loss because, well, i obviously don't breastfeed (having no children), and i've never been a part of facebook (so i can't exactly deactivate an account). but i'm with you in spirit!

[Monique]

I'd love to cancel my facebook account, but the only reason I'm on it is to try to get in touch with an old friend who I can't find anywhere else, as soon as I'm sure he's not dead- it's gone. Never wanted it in the first place, and now even less.
I will be participating in the breast fest, even if it means I will share with the world my ONLY breastfeeding picture. :( It's so sad that I only have one. Anyway- I think this is courageous and wonderful, good job!!! :)

[Kristin]

You guys rock, with all your vehemence and righteousness. I'm not quite sure I can delete the crackbook, just yet, but because of you I'll ponder it. :-)

(I'm back. Thanks for suggesting it.)

[rachel]

re: Jaildiet - it seems to me that consciousness raising can be understood as the goal, and exposure as the method. The efficacy is of course questionable, given that the largest demographic on facebook is both undergraduate-aged and socioeconomically privileged, but one can be optimistic about a trickle-down effect (resisting a bf trickle-down pun there).

[Heather]

I thought about taking a photo while breastfeeding my son (more than 2 years ago) but never did it. I don't know why. I wish I had though.

[Her Bad Mother]

I actually regret not taking MORE BFing photos - or, having more taken, seeing as my hands were full. I only have a few from the hospital, and I post them whenever I can. Why? Because I'm proud of everything that I do as a mother, and that particular thing is extra special. And I want the world to know that.

[KissinBee]

I don't have a face book account and I have no intentions of starting one. Too bad... it would be awesome to see their reaction to pics of me nursing a two year old. "You mean your *still* nursing? But she's old enough to (gasp) ASK FOR IT!"

Ummm... She's always been able to ask for it and I much prefer our new meathod of communication over the wailing and sobbing.

[Kristen]

Jaildiet,

It's a good question -- however, I think has a lot to do with community, and pride. And it's something that's been a part of the bfing community for a very long time. I remember my own mom asking me to "make sure you get bfing photos" when I had Quinlan.

Personally, I don't really post them, but I have taken them.

Anyone who wants to answer this question, please feel free. It's a good one.

!!

[mothergoosemouse]

Changing perceptions is important. Facebook is the example we're focusing on, but there's far too much other evidence out there that women are discouraged from breastfeeding - particularly those women (and their babies) who could benefit most (e.g., lower-income, lower-education sociodemographics).

[The Feminist Breeder]

If I had a Crackbook account, I would TOTALLY delete it. Has anybody had problems with MySpace banning bf pics? If so, I'll raise some hell over there.

I recently criticized Janeane Garofalo in my blog for her panzy-ass response to Bill Maher's stupid NIP rant.

The topic of breastfeeding got me into a heated debate on my waste-of-time Expecting Club too. Would you believe there are actually women in the world who still will not consider breastfeeding?@!? Not for any medical reason, just cause they thing it's weird or they "don't wanna." I got a little aggressive in my quest to find out why in the world they wouldn't consider it, and I was promptly told to keep my big aggresive mouth shut.

So thank you for fighting the good fight. I'll am right there by your side.

[jaildiet]

totally understand the politics behind this. breastfeeding is good. photos promote the image--i understand this. i'm not against it in restaurants, etc. when it concerns an actual baby needing to be fed immediately!

however, why are people posting photos of themselves breastfeeding on facebook? it just seems equally un-necessary as people posting themselves in thongs, bikinis, etc.

[Nicole]

I deactivated my crackbook. The continuous emails were really annoying.

And I told them why I was doing so. I also deleted everything I could on it before I deactivated it.

And the day before I deactivated, I publicly posted why I was deactivating.

[amy]

I just have to say that the boob in that button for the breastfest is drop-dead gorgeous. If only.. but no mine never looked that good.

I think I have a bf'ing picture of each of my kids (one each), and it's moments after their births...and hideous.

[Heather]

Way to go Kristen! I deleted my crackbook the same day you posted that first blog about it. Like I need more crack in my life? hello? I live with three males...I see lawts of cracks all day, then the whole blogosphere crack and my caffeine crack.

It felt great to let go of yet ANOTHER obligation to the computer. There's life outside the monitor!

[Julie Pippert]

I don't know...I'm not unwilling to let go of Facecrack but it has been a portal into keeping up with some people I care about. OTOH, their policy sucks and so does selling my profile. I'm figuring it out, promise. It's on the mind.

I agree 100% with the protest.

Julie
Using My Words
http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com

[Kristen]

Punditmom -

Just you wait *wink*

Should be on the site in a few days. :)

We will make live appearances as well.

[canape]

I never joined in the first place. I spend too much time online as it is.

But I'm hoping that this keeps going so I can jump in with photos when Bird comes.

Another great idea, Kristen.

[Dana]

I deactivated yesterday, and I told them exactly why I was doing so!

[PunditMom]

I love the name -- League of Maternal Justice! I hope you're working on some cool superhero outfit for that!