And That's How My In-Laws Saved my Marriage

Ever since my sister-in-law and then my in-laws had no room at their "inn" last weekend when the huz needed a place to crash on something other than that ever popular crappy pilot lounge couch, I've felt fairly justified for every single thing I've ever written about them.

Granted it's all true. No exaggerations here. But still. Being mean to your own kid (not just your daughter-in-law) is like full license to strongly dislike, isn't it?

And so, last Tuesday, I was very surprised when a man holding a very large bouquet of edible fruit knocked on my door.

I admit to thinking that perhaps my father-in-law had come around and was sending a peace offering for his crazy email in the form of weirdly shaped fruit flowers.

Hell. I'm a sucker for a pineapple daisy on a shish-kabob.

But as I went to grab the bouquet I saw something so startling that I nearly cursed right in front of the nice fruit n' flower delivery person.

"Happy Anniversary"

Yeah. Apparently it was my anniversary. And my freaking in-laws reminded me.

I turned to my husband, hiding my head behind the ridiculously large cellophane wrap and said "It's our anniversary today!" with a happy! excited! Oh-my-shit-I-totally-forgot-Ha!-please-laugh-with-me! kind of voice.

"You forgot, didn't you?" he asked in such a way that was clear that he had not.

Yeah. I totally forgot my anniversary.

I could blame the fact that I really got married by the Mayor of Landsdowne, PA on New Year's Eve Day to recorded organ music that said Mayor played via a button on his "pulpit." Or that I'm still a little bitter about having to get married on October 2, 2004 which was just shy of three months post-partum requiring me to buy a new dress that I could nurse in.

Or maybe it was that whole domestic zero thing.

But really, I just totally forgot.

Now it's one thing to totally forget. But it's another when you are reminded by a nice and pretty tasty gift from your in-laws. The in-laws that you just don't want any good reason to like.

So not only do you have to live with that lovely realization, but then you also have to send them a fucking "thank-you" note. 

As we played rock, paper, scissors to see who would actually send the email, I told him that I had already booked a babysitter for a lovely evening out with a new friend, who kindly relieved me so I could make it up to my husband without having to create blow-job coupons.

And so with my unshaved legs and unpedicured toes, the huz and I hit a deserted quiet wine bar and enjoyed each other's company for the first time in almost a year. No arguments and no nit-picking. Just two flights of wine and us.

And a melon martini.

And some wine.

And even though my son was wide awake enjoying David Letterman with the babysitter when we arrived home, and I'd most likely be getting less than 2 hours of sleep in a row, those three hours gave me hope that all the bickering and badgering isn't us.

Just a symptom. Not the source.

And while I did have to write the customary thank-you email, I will say my husband made sure I'd never ever forget my anniversary again.

ahem   

Comments

[VDog]

Happy Anniversary!! (and, OOPS!)

Those Edible Arrangements, are SO cool, huh?

[theotherbear]

I remember being really annoyed when my husband forgot our 1st anniversary. Probably because he had forgotten my birthday 2 weeks before. This year we both forgot and realised the next day we'd missed it. I wasn't so annoyed this time.

[Fairly Odd Mother]

We forgot this year too. But I didn't get a fruit basket! Happy Anniversary!

[Manic Mommy]

Happy Anniversary. Glad you got some time alone - it's soo good for the marriage - Hey! We like each other!

Enough of that: who's "the other sister-in-law"? I didn't know...

[Mom101]

But wait - did he still get the blow job coupons?

[TB]

Way to find the silver lining. And I bet November can't get here soon enough. At least that will get you a few extra nights a month with your husband at home, which I'm sure will go a long way. I'm glad you guys got some time to yourselves.

[mandy]

Look what I got today!

[***************CountyFreecycle] Wanted:Mini Fridge

The desc goes on to say why she wants one-to store her drinks in at work! I'd like one next to my computer recliner to store my beer. Preferably.

I thought you'd get a kick out of it, I did.

Your video was cute, so pretty.

[Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You]

wow... wonder what that was all about? LOL Ever feel suspicious of nice behavior?

[Kelly]

Happy anniversary! Glad a romp in the sack was in order, and well enjoyed.

[BOSSY]

Bossy is dying at the 'Blow-job Coupon' reference. Call an ambulance. Request an autopsy.

[Your Other Sister-in-Law]

...so Happy Belated Anniversary!

Wow, where is my brain today?

[Your Other Sister-in-Law]

So sorry I forgot your anniversary! It's now marked on my calendar plain as day so I don't do that again. :)

[Alison of a Gun (in atlanta!)]

Happy Anniversary! I don't know why I never realized your husband is a pilot. My boyfriend's a flight attendant for ASA (we're in Atlanta too..I've commented before but I'm sure you get too many people to remember me).

[Phoenix]

I'm laughing at that last part. You know maybe you should make one of those ticker things for the blog to remind yourself.

I love those fruit things. They are so pretty. Tasty too.

ps. Happy anniversary.

[Sandra]

Happy anniversary girl. Those nights ... we learnt the hard way they need to be scheduled .,.. cause they are so needed.

[Ruth Dynamite]

Awww. Happy anniversary!

Look - if it weren't for my in-laws and my parents sending us cards all the time, how the heck would I ever know when it was anyone's birthday? (let alone my anniversary)

[Stimey]

Yeah, I'm that girl too. I completely forgot my last anniversary, but weeks before, my husband had special ordered a fancy sculpture of people using their bodies to spell out "LOVE" in whatever metal this anniversary is supposed to be commemorated by. Worst. Wife. Ever.

[Veronica]

Happy Anniversary.

[Angie in Texas]

hopefully you got *ahem* twice. =)

happy anniversary! it's okay that you forgot - it's not like you're sitting around all day doing nothing after 8 solid hours of restful sleep . . .

[Devan]

I'm glad your anniversary turned out well! Too bad the out laws had to be the ones to remind you, but at least you got fruit out of it.

[VirtualSprite]

If it makes you feel any better, I always forget our anniversary. Always. Every damn time.

But my in-laws don't remind me. They can't remember either. Thank god.

Glad to hear you had a good evening, though!

[the new girl]

The Man and I BOTH forgot our anniversary this year until like, the day before. Whoops.

Glad that you two got some time to reconnect.

Nice post.

[mothergoosemouse]

We all have our reasons why we got together in the first place - sometimes we just need a reminder.

[Andy]

I totally forgot mine this year too - it wasn't until I opened the mail and saw the card from my grandparents that it hit me that I had forgot. Luckily, so did he. Then at least we were both off the hook.

[Jennifer]

Happy anniversary! The fruit bouquet, wine, and the *ahem* sound lovely.

[Mrs. Chicken]

very glad to read this. and I've always wondered about those fruit thingies.

[Aussiebeaut]

Happy anniversary. You know what is worse than having your inlaws remind you of you anniversary? Having them remind both of us TWO YEARS in a ROW.

[FishyGirl]

Happy Anniversary! Glad you got to spend some Quality Time with the hubby.

[mandy]

I am so glad for you. It is hard, when family life so consumes us, to remember we are husband and wife. My DH and I have not been out alone in a while either. When we go, it is like we are two different people.

Happy Aniversary!

[Michael - Family Hack]

Ahhh....there is hope. Hannah and I have a major fight on any holiday, birthday or anniversary. It's gotten to the point now where we mock the impending doom.

Perhaps this year we'll knock back a few flights of wine, a melon martini and have a nice night. Now where did I leave those blow job coupons?

Michael
http://www.familyhack.com

[canape]

Happy anniversary! I'm glad you had a good night out and a happy ending to boot.

The fruit though? I'm a little creeped out. Like there is some evil plan in the making or something.

Maybe it is what it is though. Just fruit.

[The Feminist Breeder]

oooooo.... fruit bouquet....

It sux when the in-laws are nice to you just when you were comfortable hating them. Mine have pulled the same crap.

But I'm quite sure my huz would NEVER remember anything before me. The guy can't remember what he had for breakfast this morning, let alone something as silly as an anniversary. Be glad yours isn't as retarded as mine.

[kgirl]

Well, Happy Anniversary.
We have forgotten every year for 5 years now. We think it's a good sign.

[Amanda]

So happy you had a good night out with the huz. Marriage is hard (like i am stating anything you don't already know). I have days where I think "what the hell did i get into?" And then I have moments like you were able to have with you husband on your anniversary and I remember exactly why i got into all this. I hope you have many more of those nice evenings to come.

[Redneck Mommy]

I'm starting to salivate at the idea of a fruit bouquet. I need to eat...

Happy belated anniversary. May your marriage be filled with many more fruits over the years... but less the in-law variety and more the toe curling type from a well-performing husband.

[Jackie]

Happy Anniversary!
So with you on the "just a symptom, not the source" thing.

[Amy H]

Happy Anniversary. Glad you had fun.

(my mil is currently visiting us and so I came in to work about an hour early and will leave at least an hour late...big project! they are working me to the bone! terrible timing! *wink*)

[jodi]

Happy Anniversary. Glad you got to go out.

I have crazy in-laws also and doesn't it suck when they do something nice. You fel like you have to be nice also.

[Julie Pippert]

A fruit bouquet, wow. That's something!

Listen, it's a running joke in our family that I need our wedding invitation framed and hanging on the wall to recall the date we got married, so don't feel too bad. ;)

Also, as a person with in-laws who keep life fun and so forth, the bouquet? Take it as a small gesture that expired at the end of that day. Or when you finish eating the fruit. Either way.

And happy anniversary!

Julie
Using My Words
Julie
http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com

[ImpostorMom]

that's awesome, not the in-laws reminding you but that you guys had a good time. I find myself cherishing those moments when we can get past all the lack of sleep and nit-picking to actually enjoy each other's company. Makes up for all the times we are picking at each other and I don't even feel like I like him very much. And like you said, reassures me that it is a symptom of the circumstances and not the relationship.

[MamaLee]

Remember, they only get 3 points for this.

[motherbumper]

Though I must say I've never seen a fruit bouquet - sounds interesting - damn, why did it have to be them to remind you?