LR = Little Rock

*Explanation and timeline of why the hell I'm moving to Little Rock added below*

It just sort of hit me about two minutes ago when I got an email from my daughter's former but never actually real preschool saying how I need to pay more money to hold her spot for when we return.

In April.

I haven't told her that she's not going yet. I haven't figured out how to tell her we're moving again. She's just gotten settled -- nervous habits disappearing -- happily prancing around her room with rainbow curtains that she's going to paint pink and purple.

"Grandma, did you know I'm starting a new school?" she asked my mom excitedly.

The new girl emailed me and at the bottom she wrote "What's going on with LR?" and I was like "LR? What the hell is that?"

Yeah. Denial. It's a grand thing.

I've not thought about it once. My decision to go with him instead of stay is a firm one. I can't be alone for five days week. I can't tell my daughter that daddy will be away for five days a week for five months.

Hell, I can barely even swallow it myself.

Apparently they are trying to get us the base in Atlanta. You know, the one that's 20 minutes from our house.

But he starts November 3. In Little Rock. Where we'll live. On base. TLF for you military folks. With two big dogs and two little kids. Far away from our nice new house, neighborhood, neighbors, and friends.

I just fucking UNPACKED ALL MY SHIT.

And bought paint. And a crib mattress. And my kitchen. I love my kitchen. And I'm tired. And sick. And sick and tired.

There are positives. He'll be home every night. He'll be home for the holidays.   

And we need to be together. Because if we're not, I'm not sure I'll be able to hold it together.

For very much longer.

--

April 2005: Huz gets denied requested assignment. Decides to get out of active duty and find a reserve/guard job.

August 2005: Huz gets denied request to get out of active duty because he can't find a guard job and apparently he's extremely valuable to them.

October 2005: Because he can't find a guard job, the huz gets an assignment to Grand Forks, North Dakota. We laugh out loud and refuse it.

October - March 2006: Huz searches for Guard Unit to take him and finally lands a job with a Guard Unit in Delaware.

September 2006: I leave with Quinlan and Drew in utero for the in-laws while huz stays to finish out his active duty term in Mississippi through December.

December 2006: Huz starts work with the Guard. Waits for training in Little Rock or Atlanta.

January 2007: I have Drew.

March 2007: No sign of training yet, but has an interview with airline. We're still living with the in-laws.

May 2007: Gets job with airline. Leaves for airline ground school.

July 2007: We buy house and move to Atlanta. Starts flying.

Current: Guard realizes that the huz has been with them for almost his whole term and has not done training yet so finally assigns him training in Little Rock.

And so, training will be from November - April, at which point we will return to Atlanta permanently and end this TWO YEAR LONG transition period.

Comments

[Amanda Taylor]

Yeah military life..it SUCKS....

[melissa]

Holy GOD. I can't believe you're going to be in TLF that long.

The longest we ever stayed in TLF was three weeks, and the place smelled like wet dog, and of course they were booked and couldn't move us to a less...uh...fragrant room.

I don't often comment here, but hugs to you, sweetie.

[Damselfly]

Oh, holy heck. That's nuts. But really, I admire you for going to great lengths to make sure your family is together.

[the weirdgirl]

Oh hon, I'm so sorry! I mean, I'm sure that once it is all over it will be SO much better, but moving sucks. And moving as much as you have with two little kids is horrible. My thoughts are with you and your family.

(And sorry I'm late on the condolences. I've been swamped lately.)

[mrsmogul]

OHMG I live in GRAND FORKS now! We just moved here. It's actually not that bad, not trashy like the South! Too bad you didnt move here because I could use a drinking buddy hehe. Anyway, I still have to make my announcement that I am living here and still in denial. But again, it is not bad here at all!

[jaelithe]

Thanks for the timeline-- I was getting confused there.

I don't know how you handle this crap.

Is there someone who will be keeping an eye on your Atlanta house while you are gone? It would drive me nuts to leave my house vacant for that long.

[Amanda]

Hi! Longtime reader, first time commenter. My huz is in the AF active duty. We have spent the last 3 years stationed overseas and just had our son in April (our first). We received our orders to move back to the States literally 2 weeks before he was born. We asked to be stationed anywhere in TX - that's where all the fam is. The AF, in its infinite wisdom, sends us to Tucson, AZ. But not directly -- no they sent my husband to school in Florabama (Ft. Walton Beach, FL) for 2.5 months first after pakcing up all our worldly goods. And, they wouldn't even pay for my son & I to stay with my husband there! They actually wanted me to check into a new base by myself with my 3mo. old and without a car! We chose to pay to stay in FL so I could keep my sanity and my hubby could see his baby boy every night.

So, we are finally in Tucson but still in the TLFs. We wanted to buy a house but its too expensive here so we are moving into base housing in about 2 weeks.

Kristen, I totally feel for you. It will probably seem like the longest 5 months of your life but it will all be worth once you get on the other side. Having your hubby home every night makes all the difference in the world. In a few years, this will just be another funny story of the many times the military has bent you over and reworked your plumbing.

Chin up!

[Manic Mommy]

Thanks for the timeline - it ups my sympathies for you.

[joy]

OMFG! I have been so out of it lately, so am only now catching up with everyone. This post makes me physically ILL. ILL I tell you! You are one brave woman, K. You seriously are. But you can totally do this.

[canape]

Does it help at all that none of us are going anywhere?

When K comes home talking about job interviews all over the country, I just duck my head and turn to you and the others.

[GIRL'S GONE CHILD]

Fuck. I don't know how you do it but you are THAT MUCH more my hero, because you do. Good luck with all of it, lady.

[Shelley]

Good luck with the move. I just stumbled upon your site... thanks for a laugh today. I'll be back!

[Mrs. CPA]

Tim and I just moved back to Little Rock from Birmingham. We live in Sherwood right now, which is not to far from the Air Force base. Please let me know when you get here. I can watch you drink somewhere (as I am pregnant) (but not on a Sunday, because that would be against GODS LAWS).

Anyway, I know of nothing really cool to do, but it's not that bad. We did choose to come here of our own volition, which may make me too crazy in your book to actually correspond, but anyway, I'm here if you need anything - like a good sausage ball recipe.

[Taste Like Crazy]

Tucker's in the Navy and he's getting out in April.

We're moving back to Arkansas in March.

Little Rock really isn't that bad; trust me. Personally, I like it better than Atlanta.

Maybe we can grab a drink. :)

[brighton]

I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine that. You must walk around wearing packing tape as an accessary. *hugs*

[Oh, The Joys]

WHAT?!

Fuck.

[Laural]

That totally sucks. I'm so sorry. But, having done a whole bunch of that over the past few years (we finally settled last december), and having lived with and without my husband I can honestly say it's worth it to be together.
But, it's still so sucky and I'm sorry :(

[Cindi]

Ummm, WOW! I know this will be a huge pain, the moving again, but the one glaring thing to me in this whole post is that you will be TOGETHER, as a FAMILY, as it SHOULD BE. I'm so happy for you, huz and the little ones for that. It's EXACTLY what you all need.

((((((hugs))))))

[Redneck Mommy]

There is an end in sight. Keep that in mind.

And you'll always have us to blog to. Where ever you live.

Good luck my friend.

[chris]

Wow, sucks doesn't even begin to describe it.

So sorry you have to move again.

[Mimipz5wjj]

Ouch! We always went with my dad on short term assignments when he was in the Army too -- that's why I moved 16 times by the time I was 18!

You'll be better in the long run, but it sucks all the packind and unpacking!

[PeetsMom]

I guess you are painfully aware of how crappy it is. So I won't say that. I'll try not to sound trite here, but try to stay positive! I think you know deep inside that you are doing the best thing for your kids and your marriage!

And you know, you still have all us internet misfits to give our support...and/or lame opinons!

Good luck!

[mandy]

Hire movers and don't think twice about it. It is awsome that it is even an option! I can't imagine going it alone all week, I might die. I feel for you every time you post about it.

[Amy H]

I'm really confused. At first I thought I was reading an old post from just before you were going to move in with the in-laws. Then I realized this is about right now. How can this be happening so fast? Are you going to sell your house?

I totally agree that you should go and be with him because I just can't imagine 5 months apart with 2 kids. I mean, if you were just married without children then it could be fine, but your sanity deserves to go with him! Sorry about all the craziness in your life!

[Phoenix]

I was raised as a modern day Gypsy, so I feel your pain. I think I went to a total of 12 schools in 9 years and that's not counting all the different preschools. We stayed in the same place my last three of high school.

I hope you guys get it figured out. Hugs.

[Anniemom]

Oh, man. I know, KNOW, that the kids will adjust really well - - the whole harder-on-us-than-it-is-on-them thing sucks as an argument, but it's so true. Damn it. Anyway, we live in Nashville - - come visit. We rock. ;)

[Jenine]

Holy Toledo, Batman! Boy did I just totally mess up my cliches or what. Look at it this way. You'll get to experience another little piece of the world. Hopefully the move will go well and you'll have no trouble with your house in Atlanta being dormant for five months. I also hope your relationship gets better with you guys being under the same roof now for more than a couple of days at a time! Your little girl will be just fine. Maybe do a partial pack? If something is that important that you forgot, you can always take little trips to your house in Atlanta (huz gets free flights, no?) to retrieve it and for a weekend to enjoy Atlanta or something. It'll all work out. Just keep taking deep breaths. At least, matter in ATL or LR, you're in-law free!

Good luck, Kristen!

[The Feminist Breeder]

For lack of a better comment. That. Completely. Sux.

I grew up a gypsy... 26 different schools in 12 years. Insanity. And god allmighty do I want my kids to have a normal life so bad it hurts. The constant uprooting can be really exhausting, painful, and unhealthy. Hopefully this will settle down before the kids start kindergarten. Changing schools f-ing sucked for me, and it definitely contributed to my most ugly personality traits.

Oh, I'm sending you cyber hugs and wish you strength and patience to get through this shite.

[dana]

I wish you didn't have to get up and go again. I'm tired just reading about it. I can't imagine how you do it. You'll be a saint.

[bitsy parker]

I am willing to carry this burden for you for one hour. That is the suckiest news I've heard all day, and I've spent many hours wallowing in my murk of deadlines. Your situation is much worse than mine....I am sorry and will do my part. Take the next hour off. Be happy. Then return to being made around early evening.

[Jackie]

Hang in there! You can do it!
Good luck and hugs.

[motherbumper]

I read this and got the shivers. Being a total movingphob, I really feel your pain. I'll pray to whoever it takes to help you stay in ATL.

[Manic Mommy]

Anyway we can get a synopsis? I can't keep up. I'm thinking it was the denial.
- The Huz was in military but now in Nat'l Guard while flying commercial.
- You moved to ATL because that was to be his hub but until then he was sleeping on dirty couches in Newark.
- He's now going into training in LR for the Nat'l Guard for five mos, so you're going with him.
? Does this mean he'll end up shipping out?
? Are you returning to ATL at the end of five mos?
? Are you keeping the house?
? If so, can you move with the bare essentials?

I am sorry. What upheaval!

[BOSSY]

Little Rock? Well chin up, maybe you can have an affair with Bill Clinton.

[Christina]

Haven't read all the comments, but wow does that suck. I totally understand the desire to see your husband every night, though. I would probably make the same decision. Long-distance parenting is no fun.

So I assume you'll be keeping the house in Atlanta? At least you'd have somewhere to go if you need to get away from LR for a week.

[Jennifer]

Kristen, that fucking sucks. I'm so sorry. I know how hard moving is and I know you just did it.

I've heard great things about Little Rock, I hope what I've heard is true for your sake.

[Kelly]

I can't imagine what you're going through, having never been through a move across the country, or moving multiple times in a row. But I can say this: having a partner, a spouse, around for company, to help, to talk with, might just be worth the packing all over again, saying good-bye to a new kitchen, and all the crap that comes with moving with two big dogs and two small children.

And you know I'll totally get you another housewarming present.

[Mrs. Chicken]

You are a better woman than I. I would go, too, but not without a fight.

However, you are spot on when you say that you need to be together. It will be worth the sacrifice for you to learn how to be a family again. We had 4.5 months of that this summer, and it was the best thing that ever happened.

Thinking of you and your babies.

[Heather]

Hang in there Kristen. It'll all work out for the best. I don't know how you're doing it...I admire you!

[Bittermama]

Long-time reader, infrequent commenter, but I wanted to write to say that I grew up as a military brat and although it was tough at times to move so often as a kid, it was a very good thing for me. We even lived on LR AFB for a few years!

[TB]

So this is a temp. move for five months and then back to ATL? Any way you can just make it a partial move and leave half of your stuff?

Not being a single mom for weeks at a time is a very good thing though. Think of the sleep you'll be getting. And the time to yourself. And the fact that Arkansas is only temporary.

[the new girl]

Hey,
I'm with Mom 101.

You do stick a bee-u-tee-ful landing, though.

[rachel]

I guess we'll have to reschedule our date for April!! Let me know if there's any loose-end wrapping up in the 404 that I can help with.

[Liza]

Noooooooooo. Don't move away.

Seriously, that sucks, but at the same time totally makes sense. Ugh. I'm sorry.

[Your Other Sister-in-Law]

Gosh, Kristen, I didn't realize you'd have to move again so soon! Is there anything we can do to help?

[Melissa]

Gosh, I thought you were all settled in Atlanta when you bought the house. Do you have to sell the new house too?
That is absolutely awful for your daughter.
I thought your husband was out of the service and flying commercially only. Guess I am wrong.
Hugs to you both~

[March]

sorry to say it, but welcome to the military life... Husband is Navy and we have moved 7 times, to 3 different countries, and the last two I got a month notice before packing out.
You're the one to provide your daughter with the stability, everything else changes, and it's not easy or fun for you, but you're the one constant thing in her life.
Pack and unpack her things first, and get her involved in every step so she knows she is not just being "moved" but part of this move.
I wish you the best of luck so it all goes smoothly, and yes you're doing the right thing by moving to be with your husband, even if the move will only be for 5 mos.

[redsy]

Honey I think you're doing the right thing. It sucks, but you're right on... If you two don't keep this thing going... little babies will miss more than school...

[mrsmogul]

okay I check in and read this. I was just about to write my draft to announce my moving...again TOO! I have been in denial all month. But now I read you are moving to LR? MAN WE MUST LEAD PARALLEL LIVES!!! I just settled in New Jersey and now we moved again and will announce it soon. It's depressing. I left all my crap in boxes because I give up! This is worse than being GYPSIES!

[Diatribal]

Damn. I'm really hoping that you don't have to go. Shit, I can't imagine moving again that fast...talk about whiplash. If you do end up going, I would be glad to answer any questions about LR that you might have.

[Arkie Mama]

I'm a native Texan who now lives in Arkansas.

As you can imagine, I'm really, terrifically popular, especially on game days, when I make fun of the typical Arkansans' fondness for *shudder* all things piggy.

I'm all about the bacon. Pork barbecue? Not bad. But that "Sooooeeeee pig!" hog call still creeps me out.

Sorry about the extra move. On the bright side, all the non-Baptist Arkansans drink a lot.

[ktjrdn]

So sorry. But will you be going back to Atlanta at the end of the 5 months? or do you have to sell your new house too?

[mothergoosemouse]

Still crossing my fingers that you get to stay in ATL. You need me to rough somebody up at ARPC, you just say the word.

[jeanie]

But you will be moving with the most important things.

My grandmother was married to a bank manager. Before my mother turned 14, my grandmother had had to pack up the house, sell it, move 2 small children and the household to new places, find a new place to buy or rent, set up home 16 times!! Due to bank restrictions, they would give grandfather 2 weeks notice and employees were not allowed to own investment properties, only ones they lived in!

She had a great saying - moving house 3 times is as good as a fire!

[Joel Maners]

I hope you're not driving this time. On the good side though,you'll be just across the river from...well... never mind.

[Suebob]

You are amazing. You can do it. One step at a time. Bird by bird.

[Assertagirl]

As someone who is "forcing" a move on someone else these days, I feel your pain. Moving sucks, no doubt about it, but it sounds like the pluses will outweigh the annoyingness (is that a word?!) of the move. Hugs.

[Kristen]

It's for training (huz is a national guardsman now) along with flying commercial.

[Vicky]

So you are moving AGAIN? Little Rock? Hello Clinton!
I have not moved in 14 years and SO admire your willingness to do so. Holy Crap! Moving again...with BABIES?!?
My hat is off to you....

[LannaGirl]

I understand about doing something really difficult and really shitty to keep your marriage together. BOY do I understand. But I'm confused....I thought he was done with military life? We feel your pain out here.

[divrchk]

Is it a PCS move? Do they pay to move your stuff there and back? That just sucks but you all need to be together.

[Mom101]

As someone who bitches about moving once a decade or so, your strength and flexibility awe me.

You're like an Olympic gymnast but without that weird midget-y thing going on.