Sibling Rivalry

And so I've begun to deal with fighting children. I thought I had a bit more time for this, but alas, my son is crawling and cruising and everything his big sister does is apparently the cat's meow.

I even try to tempt him away with his favorite snack.

Paper.

He's not even interested. If she's building with legos or blocks, he is the destroyer. If she's coloring, he comes to eat her crayons. And all she can do is scream, yell, and beg me to move him.

He's become quite averse to baby prison, and so I'm left with a true dilemma. Do I continue to move him or stick him in the exersaucer? Or does she just have to learn how to deal with it?

I'm not being harsh, but there's only so much I can do -- she can go to her room and play, or she can deal with him. But then I think I'm not being very fair. She deserves to be able to play on her own if she wants to.

Speaking of which, now that we're headed to Little Rock for five months (oh, did I forget to mention that lovely news? YEAH. Thank you Air National Guard) she can't start school. And she needs to see other kids. She sent our Pet Sitter home with three pieces of artwork and an earful about everything from dinner to her halloween costume. Granted I've been sick and working a ton and so we haven't gotten out of the house but still.

Poor kid needs someone else's ear to talk off.

So what do I do? Move him? Move her? Teach her how to deal with it? Lock them both up?

Comments

[Dana]

Wait. What? You're moving again? Good gravy, girl! This is going to be the death of you.

[Kelly]

We've got the same situation with ours, though instead of yelling mine pushes (we're working on that, though). The oldest is allowed to go into the play area (where the baby isn't allowed yet since it's near stairs) if he wants, so that helps a lot (and teaches the little one to amuse himself). I encourage my oldest to move where the baby can't get his stuff (on the couch, or somewhere higher up in the case of playing with cars), too. The little one is easing off, a bit, on the fascination with everything older-sibling now that he's starting to figure out things like "in", "out" and "bang on every surface to make different noises". Oh yeah, and "put every little thing from the floor into mouth and chew". That's the best one!

[Heather]

I'm going to make this real easy for you.

You teach her a little bit of each one.

Simple, huh?

No need to thank me for my deep, enlightened answer.

[Jill]

Another solution is to allow her into the play yard to play without him around. He may change his mind about the "baby prison" if she uses it to get away from him! If you have a bunk bed, she could play up high, or allow her to play in her room with the door shut if she doesn't mind doing that. Let her have some private space or they'll drive you crazy. I'm not sure when or if this stage ends. Mind started playing together when the little one learned to talk, but they still fight like little hellions.

[Robin]

You do a little of all. All kids need to learn to play together, by themselves and hear the word 'no' as well as 'great job playing together'.

[mayberry]

Do you have a table top that she can reach and he can't? That's good for coloring - have her sit @ the kitchen or dining room table on a chair and then he can't get at her stuff.

Of course he'll probably bite her leg instead (that's what mine would do anyway).

[Wendy]

You do both. It will change as he grows, but for now I would simply remove him from the situation. When he is older, like when he is walking and almost talking, they will have to learn to co-exist.

My rules for my 5 yr old daughter and 20 month old son is, if you don't want him to have it then keep it out of his reach. My daughter left her guitar (nice real one) laying around and my son went all Jimi Hendrix on it. So she had to throw it away and want for Christmas to even think about getting another one. Eventually, they learn that if you like something keep it out of the destroyer's reach.

[ktjrdn]

We have some toys that are not-fot-sharing(TM). Everything else, I let them sort it out (with a little help from us if needed and an "Oh for gods sake, just leave each other alone" thrown in every once in a while) Occassionally, we will give them each a pile of toys and forbid them from bothering each other, but they are older.

But, yeah, we've been there. It sucks. I'm hoping it gets easier. At least Ally won't forever call her sister Destructo-Baby-Monster.