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Oh yeah. You're hot, baby.
Just hold on a second. Let me lift my large perky even breasts out of my huge bra so you can stuff your face in them.
Angelina? Please. She's nothing compared to...
Tap. Tap tap tap. Tap. TAP.
The Huz: I just wanted to wake you up from a dead sleep to tell you that Drew might be hungry when he wakes up.
So he's not up yet?
The Huz: No.
Have you lost your fucking mind?
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JM - "Sleep is the New Sex". Never have truer words been spoken.
Posted by: Manic Mommy | January 03, 2008 at 08:17 PM
The next time he is asleep at 5:30 in the morning, tell him that you think the baby will have a dirty diaper when he wakes up....
Posted by: MOMX2 | January 03, 2008 at 03:04 PM
Hilarious. Those hubbys are so alike. So many times I've uttered... "Why would you possibly do that?" The answer is never sufficient.
Posted by: the mama bird diaries | January 01, 2008 at 11:00 PM
"Even breasts."
Heh.
Even when you're pissed, you're hilarious.
Posted by: Mom101 | January 01, 2008 at 10:09 PM
omfg. Kill him dead.
My loving, wonderful oldest son woke me up yesterday after my return from the E.R. to have me change the baby's dirty diaper. Because obviously, DADDY couldn't do it.
My daughter wakes me up the other day to ask me if I know how to download movies. at 3:30am.
WHAT IS IT WITH THESE PEOPLE???
Posted by: Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You | January 01, 2008 at 10:06 PM
Dude. That is just WRONG.
Posted by: Oh, The Joys | January 01, 2008 at 08:24 PM
You kidding? Dems fightin' words!
Posted by: BOSSY | January 01, 2008 at 06:29 PM
I hate to say this, but why are men so fucking STUPID?
Posted by: Mrs. Chicken | December 31, 2007 at 06:42 PM
I admire your self control. I think I would have beat him or at least inflicted some pain.
Posted by: Secret Mom Thoughts | December 31, 2007 at 04:27 PM
You would be able to hear my husband howling all the way in Atlanta from the kneeing in the balls he would get if he did that to me.
Fortunately we had the you-wake-me-it's-instant-pain conversation the night he woke me up to propose to me.
Posted by: Stacey | December 31, 2007 at 04:27 PM
Can I bitch-slap your husband for you?
What a dick.
Posted by: Michelle | December 31, 2007 at 03:20 PM
Heaven forbid he might actually have to keep the kid content for a whole 5 minutes while you sleep. It's not like baby boy is a newborn.
Jesus H. Christ, what does he think fatherhood is? Just stick it in for a few minutes (or seconds), and sit back until the kid is old enough to make him look good with sports accomplishments?
Posted by: Michelle | December 31, 2007 at 03:17 PM
Ditto Motherbumper and Christina.
I want to be able to think of a legitimate reason why he would do such a thing, but that's beyond the limits of my wildest imagination.
Posted by: mothergoosemouse | December 31, 2007 at 02:48 PM
Note to all men out there, sleep IS the new sex.
Posted by: JM | December 31, 2007 at 02:30 PM
What? He actually woke you to tell you the obvious?
I'm with Bitchy Mom--he must have been sleep talking. Either that, or he has a death wish!
Posted by: caramama | December 31, 2007 at 02:11 PM
How much pain is he currently in because SB would still be crying if he had done that to me.
Posted by: motherbumper | December 31, 2007 at 01:53 PM
oh that is so not cool
Posted by: ImpostorMom | December 31, 2007 at 01:49 PM
I think Angie's got the right idea... Give it right back.
3:00am "Darling, I might be hungry when I wake up 4 hours from now, so could you go start making some breakfast?"
Yeah...
I'm going to assume (and hope) he was sleep-talking.
Posted by: Bitchy Mom | December 31, 2007 at 01:19 PM
And that puts the "justifiable" in justifiable homicide.
You realize that no jury of your peers would convict you if you murdered him, right?
Posted by: Christina | December 31, 2007 at 12:51 PM
I would have murdered him. You would get off as it is justifiable homicide. No jury would convict you.
Posted by: Awesome Mom | December 31, 2007 at 12:00 PM
Of all the previous reasons to kick her ass out of the house...this one DEFINITELY requires a super swift (and hard) boot! How the hell did she raise kids of her own?!!!
Posted by: Christy | December 31, 2007 at 11:01 AM
I must correct my previous comment - I missed the 'Huz' part.
But, the 'no shit, Sherlock' still applies.
Posted by: submommy | December 31, 2007 at 10:50 AM
does someone have a death wish? 'cause i can't [won't] imagine he would wake you up from drooling, i mean, sleeping . . . AND while his parents are in town! (jackass. tonight i want you to wake him up - but wait 'til he's sound asleep and then ask him if he took the garbage out.)
Posted by: Angie in Texas | December 31, 2007 at 10:43 AM
I KNEW IT. You're one of those mothers who never feeds their children unless someone tells them to, right?
And isn't it always nice to get an early start? (ok, you can slap me now).
Posted by: Suebob | December 31, 2007 at 10:25 AM
Wait.....was that your MIL? If so - I'm completely floored. No shit, Sherlock. He's what, 11 months old?
Posted by: submommy | December 31, 2007 at 10:02 AM
Wow. Blinding grasp of the obvious, that one.
Posted by: Nicole | December 31, 2007 at 09:36 AM
Wow, I am sure that you as his mother would NEVER have figured out that your son might be hungry when he wakes up. I mean, I'm sure someone else probably takes care of all that everyother day of the year, right?
Good thing they warned you about that one. ;)
Posted by: mama k | December 31, 2007 at 09:24 AM