I'm a Terrible Terrible Mother

My daughter decided to let my mother-in-law know that Santa had ignored her wishes for a Belle dress and Belle ponytail. Apparently I have not yet schooled her in the ways of keeping her mouth shut.

She only got enough toys to fully furnish our living room (if you like to sit on puppet theaters and ball tracks).

Of course, you my trusty blog readers are aware of my ambivalence about all that is princess, and so, instead of purchasing the much request Belle dress and Belle ponytail, I gave her a lovely crocheted crown (which she took off only to go poop on Christmas Day), a swirly silk skirt, an Ariel book light, and The Paper Bag Princess (Thanks for the recos, readers!).

And I left the majority of the princess purchasing to my in-laws, who clearly took care of that with two Disney princess books, two Disney princess "Dress 'em up in tiny rubber outfits and shoes the size of a bread crumb" sets, and a weird plush pig princess piggy bank that makes a fantastically unannoying and very quiet noise every time you put money in it.

But alas, no Belle dress or ponytail. That was my job. And I failed.

So, my mother-in-law asks my husband right in front of me "How could YOUR WIFE Santa do such a thing? When have you ever heard of a kid not getting what they asked for from YOUR WIFE Santa?" of course, trying to chalk the whole thing up to my daughter's fantastic memory. 

"Well, we're just terrible parents, aren't we?" I replied trying to sound both flip and sweet, you know, like a princess.

My husband glared at me.

"And any good princess knows that you don't wait for some man to buy you what you want. If she wants a Belle dress and a hairpiece, she can use her Christmas money to purchase it herself."

 

Princesses can always use the help of an accountant.

 

Just make sure they don't run off with your cash.

Comments

[Brighton]

You should have shot back with, "How could anyone (MIL) criticize Santa's ways??". What nerve she has!
And yes, I bet your daughter has an entire castle by the weeks end.

[Lela]

Woohoo! You go girl! Shove those words down her throat! When you're done will you come do that to my mil too?

[scatteredmom]

Right, and my son wanted a table saw when he was 9.

He didn't get it. I don't think he'll need therapy.

AND having all his fingers is a good thing.

[Melissa P.]

WOW!
Way to go Kristen.
I could just feel your hubby's glare at you.
It is true the Belle thing is just a phase and she will be on to bigger and more expensive things.
I am proud of you!!!!

[Mom101]

I'm with Suebob! You can take all the advice from yesterday's post and apply it here.

Hoo boy, long visit, huh. Just 72 more hours until sanctioned alcoholic revelry.

(And nice piggy bank. Klassie.)

[Submommy]

The fact that you WANT a dinosaur lovin' sport shirt wearin' etc girl practically guarantees that you won't get one.

God is funny that way.

The Princess Stuff is a phase. Eventually it gives way to Hannah Montana. (Disney owns our children. Or hadn't you heard?)

[Shannon]

I have to admit I'm a little thankful that I have two boys. I'm horrified when I have to go shop for a girl and see all the oversexualized makeup and princess poop crap that they shove on little girls. Seriously, it's the parents that have the economic power here.

If I ever have a girl I'd (hope) I wind up with a dinosaur lovin' sports playing blue shirt wearing girl. Shannon

[Gretta]

Just saying hi and I love you.

[Jennifer]

I was notified I failed my daughter because I will not buy her Bratz. MIL agreed with me not to buy them that toy. One tiny victory. I bet she will see both toys for her birthday (or a just because gift from the in-laws like mine do)

[mothergoosemouse]

Your MIL is such a passive-aggressive bitch.

(And Submommy's got me feeling guilty, heh.)

[Adena]

You may enjoy this article on this VERY topic! By an excellent writer, Barbara Ehrenreich.
http://ehrenreich.blogs.com/barbaras_blog/2007/12/bonfire-of-the.html

[jaelithe]

My son was slightly annoyed that Santa did not bring him the green toy car he decided he wanted the day before Christmas Eve.

This even though Santa brought him an ADULT-SIZED ELECTRIC PIANO, plus a Slinky, some Moon Sand, and two board games.

I told him that sometimes Santa knows better than kids do what gifts kids will have the most fun with.

(The kid has 400,000 toy cars already, for goodness' sake)

[Stacey]

I love the photos of Drew running off the piggy bank. I tell my kids the same thing my parents told me
"Its a WISH list, not a GET list." Maybe you should ask your DH, in front of your MIL, if he remembers Santa not getting him things he wanted.

[Michelle]

Please tell me you're gonna stick out your foot and trip the bitch when she walks by.

Aren't you taller then she is? I love standing next to my MIL and looking down at her. I'm 6'1", and she's about 3 feet tall to me. It's so fun! For people with a lesser mentality, such as hers, it's a subtle reminder that I can really fuck her up.

[Redneck Mommy]

This is why I'm grateful to have spent the day at home with just my kids and husband and avoided my parents that day. Cuz my mother would have surely pulled that same crap.

Ack. But hey, listen...I got a garbage bag full of YARN from my mil for Christmas...I could give it to you and you could make Q a Belle ponytail toupee...lol.

[Christina]

You know, I asked for a pony every year from Santa. Never got one. So Santa doesn't always bring what we ask for.

(Now that I'm an adult and I've seen the Verizon commercial about the teen who gets a pony, I'm glad I never got one.)

I'd say I can't believe your MIL said that, but I've read enough about her that I can believe it.

[Wendy]

Maybe your MIL needs to learn what I tell my kids, Sometimes Santa is too busy to bring EVERYTHING you ask for. There are other people in the world.

[roxanne]

After opening all of his toys and recieving some v-smile games, my four year old said "I thought we "ordered" a mario game". We had to explain that your christmas list is not an order...

[Submommy]

My daughter asked for ice skates. She's been ice skating exactly one time in her life.

Santa did not bring her ice skates. So, tell your in-laws that sometimes Santa *ahem* Mommy *ahem* knows best.

Like the year I asked Santa for a harp. Full sized. Didn't get it. I'm ok, no therapy required (at least for THAT issue).

Love Paper Bag Princess, too. Great book.

[S. Moore]

Don't you just hate that sh**!!!
I have one of those kind of MIL's too. I could just strangle her.

[melissa]

Your princess stuff is way better then the Disney crap. And one day your daughter will think so too.

[Amy]

Linguistics lesson:

Killing your mother = matricide.
Killing your father = patricide.
Killing your son = filicide.
Killing yourself = suicide.
Killing your in-laws = justifiable homicide.

[Julie Pippert]

Ooooh who says something like that, especially in front of a kid? Excellent retort, LOL! Great photos!

Julie
http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com
Using My Words

[MU]

HA, Assertagirl.

My daughter has short hair and so she has decided that you must be able to purchase a ponytail so that you can look like Belle.

We call them Toupee's HAHA.

[Monica]

We got a TMX elmo from my MIL. SO LOUD. So fucking loud. He may get "accidentally" run over in the garage.

[Assertagirl]

Umm...What is a Belle ponytail?

[Jill]

How uncouth can one mother in law be, making such rude comments right in front of you but not directly to you. I hope that she at least made sure that little kidlets weren't around while delivering her monologue.... Your gifts sounded sooo much better than the commercialized stuff for princesses at the store anyway, because she can be any princess she wants to be with yours...

[Mrs. Chicken]

You should see the cheap plastic crap my hubs' grandparents bought The Poo. I'd rather they have just given her the $10.50. Ugh. Now I have to hide it all.

I feel your pain, my in-laws tried to kill me this season.

[Suebob]

Your mistake was to not mention Drew pooping in your flip reply.

[the new girl]

BWAAHAHAHA.
The cross-outs are CLASSIC. hilarious.

And Drew? Running off with the cash?

I want to eat him up.

[Bill]

You should get your daughter to say she also asked Santa for her grandparents to have some tact.

[Fairly Odd Mother]

What do you want to bet that your MIL will be getting those items for your daughter before week's end?

Yikes. How long are they staying?