I Just Can't Spare a Hair

I have been standing strong against the hostile takeover by my gray hair for some time now. I was managing the red-now-white streak fairly well, with strategic hair styles and occasional dye jobs. And I kept trying to tell myself that if Stacy London sports a gray streak, then by golly it must be what to wear.

But now those little white fuckers are popping up outside of the confines of the aforementioned streak and I fear that the salt and pepper look is imminent.

It's sexy on a 55 year old. Maybe. But on a 31-year-old, it's just never good.

It would be one thing if I left the house each day decked out in a way that could sell the graying hair as part of my fashion forward style sense.

Didn't you know? Gray is the new black, people!

[comma added so my black friends don't think I'm trying to turn them all gray. heh]

But thanks to my "mother-on-the-go" look, which often includes wearing the same shirt two days in a row since it doesn't have food stuck to it, the extra gray just makes me look like I can't afford to get my hair done.

And worse, it just screams "pity."

Having a rough go at it, huh sweetie?

It wasn't such a huge issue when I had tons of hair to spare. I'd just grab the tweezers and remove them. And even if I didn't get a chance to twirl my tweezers, you'd have to be a parasite-seeking mommy monkey to find them.

But now they're popping up everywhere. And I'm sorry people but I just don't have a hair to spare.

I've even considered going blonde since apparently intentional dark roots are cool, but the truth is, a regular hair dye regimen just doesn't fit into my fairly low maintenance lifestyle. Besides, considering the amount of hair dye that I will have to use, I want to actually have hair in a few years.

Because if the salt-n-pepper 'do brings pity, we all know what comes with a bald head.

Apparently it's a bunch of terrible hair pieces and a whole lot of crazy.

(Any hairemedies are welcome. I think.)

Comments

[Damselfly]

Eck. I'm trying to cover grays with highlights. But sometimes they still go "sproing" out of my head like a white eyelash gone weird.

[Pearmama]

Just wait til you find some grey coochie hair. Now THAT is something to be sad about.

[B]

If you're worried about damaging your hair by having to dye it too often, try Robert Craig hair color:
http://www.merchantamerica.com/robertcraig/index.php?ba=view_category&category=2331
No ammonia or peroxide and it's gentle enough that if, for example, your hair isn't dark enough the first time, you can redye it the same day, and over and over until you're happy. With most other dyes you get just one more shot to get it right and then you're SOL unless you want to risk damaging your hair.
They are incredibly helpful, too, especially for a website. The price is certainly reasonable (low flat shipping fee). I don't work for them or anything, I'm just a very satisfied customer; both times I've called or emailed for coloring advice, they've been super nice and helpful and very generous with their time. And of course I'm very happy with the product itself. I love that I can color my hair every three weeks (I HATE roots!) without damaging it at all. Highly recommended!

[Mandie]

I'm 25. I've had gray for about 5-7 years. And now? 2 children later? I have a LOT. OF. IT.

[canape]

From the time I could grasp a crayon, I would use the white one for my mother's hair. She never did color it, and it was always beautiful. But yes, she looked older than she was because of it.

I just color. And color. And color some more. No roots for me.

[Susan Getgood]

One word. Aveda. And a good stylist. I got my first gray hair at 22 and like you, the streak in my early 30s. I've been coloring my hair since, including right through my pregnancy. I couldn't even tell you what my real hair color is anymore, I mess around with it so much. The Aveda products are natural, and haven't done any damage whatsoever to my hair after 15 years!

[Monica]

OMG I love you. I found my first gray about a month ago, and they have been popping up ever since. I am only 32, so I feel your pain. I swear that in the six months since I quit work to stay home, I'm uglier, grayer, meaner and more wrinkly. WTF is up with that? I would try highlights or dye, but like you, I'm ultra low-maintenance and at this point, can't afford to be any other way. I feel better knowing that I'm not the only graying be-atch out there, though!

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Don't hate on the wee set o' bangs. That's better than no set o' bangs.

[the new girl]

I got nothing for the greasy. I've been getting NEW HAIRS in and it looks like I've got a little wee set of bangs growing.

lord help me.

[Veronica]

I am going to laugh at you now, because by god you are 31 and having issues with grey hair? SHEESH!

I am 19 and going grey. FUN TIMES. It's my DH's fault I swear, either that or the fact my daughter likes to JUMP OFF things from high up.

*sigh*

If you find a hair dye that you like, let me know okay?

[Jessa]

Plucking won't do you much good unless you get the entire follicle...hard enough to do while you wax, much less pluck. Hair dye, provided it's a good one (not Henna or metallic) should not cause problems for you with keeping the hair you already have provided you use appropriate shampoos and conditioners.

Another tedious option is to use water based dyes that you put in each day. A real PITA and mostly for super old ladies with bad perms...I should know...I've had to roller set their heads.

[Jill]

I highlighted my light brown hair for years until I realized it had it's own highlights. I'm going to give it until spring (au naturel) to see if I like it. I have several friends with salt and pepper, and mine really seems to look ok so far. But, we'll see. If I feel drab and dull I will head back for coloring.

[jessicab]

I decided about a year ago to go all natural since my hair was growing so fast I had dark roots in just 3 weeks.

I was going a bit gray and just hadn't noticed. I pulled one of those babies just this morning.

I am just going to let it go for now. I'm sure when it gets really bad I'll go for a dye job.

[Lela]

Ponytails, or Loreal at home hair dye. Your choice, lol.

[Katie]

What about henna? It has some benefits - relatively cheap, you do it at home, and it is good for your hair. The downside is that it is very messy and takes a long time. Red henna would look good, I think. It would give you an allover reddish hint, with the grays being more red. Or, you can do henna and indigo treatments, which will leave you with more of the brown color.

[BOSSY]

Don't. Get. Bossy. Started. For a decade she thought there was paint spatter in her hair. And she wasn't even painting.

[angie]

I think I'd have to say a temporary rinse kind of thing might work. That's what I was using when I was around your age.

[Robin]

I feel your pain. I never ever thought it would bother me. I'm a pretty plain person - no makeup, no 'girly' stuff. But when that gray started showing up EVERYWHERE before I turned 35 it bothered me. A lot. Last winter I caved in and started coloring it. At home. It dried my hair out. So now I go to a hair place. It's worth it. I actually get my hair colored the same color it should be without the gray cuz I do like my hair color. Except this last time I went a little darker. I'm getting daring in my old age - LOL

[Windex]

I was told by my hairdresser that plucking makes the hair grow back coarser and therefore makes it more obvious. She suggested just to cut them right near the head if you are only getting rid of a few....More maintenance but less coarse hair

[Michelle]

I'll be 36 soon and don't have any either. Anywhere. It could be the 1/4 American Indian thing. Who knows?

[the weirdgirl]

You know I am all about the coloring! But even so my grey streak seems to be suddenly expanding lately, and it's silver so it glints through the color. I'm leaving it be for now. Hopefully I'll get to rock the Stacy London! (if not I'll dye it blue)

If you decide to dye at home you can always try the semi-permanent or deposit-only colors, rather than permanent. You get a lot more conditioning and little damage (if any) with the semis or deposit-only colors, they just don't last as long. Usually about a month.

[The Other-Sister-in-Law]

What if you were to get some honey colored highlights, or something a bit lighter than your natural color that would draw attention away from the gray? The touch ups wouldn't be too bad with highlights. Don't go blonde! That's an insane amount of upkeep. (I know, been there done that.) Even DIY dyes are pretty good now. You could just do one to match your current color that's semi- or demi- permanent. I think L'Oreal Excellence Creme is supposed to be good for covering gray hairs.

[Submommy]

Don't hate me because I'm 37 (almost 38) & don't have a single one.

On my head, anyway.

[Michelle]

Those of you who went grey early in life (like in high school) and those who are greying in your 30s and who will be 50% grey by 40 need to be sure you are getting your calcium.

You are at a seriously increased risk of osteoporosis. Make sure you take a calcium and vitamin D supplement. Screw drinking the milk of a cow's tit. Just take the supplements.

[Karl]

There ain't no amount of gray to make you stop being a hot momma. I wouldn't sweat it. Yeah, I've got 10 years on you and I have a few gray hairs...but you should see my beard! All the gray shows up in my facial hair. It's weird.

No way I'm going to dye it, though. That's just crazy.

[Awesome Mom]

I am right there with you. I can't wear my hair back because it shows off my more and more obvious graying hairs. It is the worst around my temples. Every time I look in the mirror I send off a sarcastic thank you to my father who's early graying genes I obviously inherited. I hate the thought of coloring my hair but I also want to look my age. Sigh. No help, but a lot of sympathy.

[laura]

i must say that a very dear friend of mine did go salt and pepper when she was 30 and she was and still is a HOT mama! recently a hairdresser suggested awesome lowlights to her and she replied why???!!! i love this friend of mine.
my hairdresser/1st born swears my almost 46 year old head of hair has no gray.
hmmmm....considering all she put me through growing up i don't know but even so whatever the color it is all in the attitude...like my friend.

[Melissa P.]

Buy a box of Loreal hair coloring and apply every 2 months.
Only takes 30 minutes to leave on at home.
Welcome to the club!

[Christy]

I have had this same exact problem ever since my daughter was born. I used to only have a few grays, enough to just pluck out. Now, I'm looking like I'm too poor to get a dye job. (Wait..I am!!)

I bought a box of color just last week. I have used this brand before and it was on sale at CVS so it came home with me. I gotta cover the grays somehow.

[emily]

OK- I have had some grays since high school, and it has been bad enough to require color every 4-6 weeks since my mid 20s. I am 34, and really need color every 4 weeks now; my hair is thick, long and brown, too. But, I now have 2 kids, staying at home with new baby and trying not to have to go back to work, so I want to cut costs. My husband suggested that I let it go years ago- I was still in my 20s, and there is just no way, I would really be salt and pepper now. So, I am thinking of doing what a frugal mom I know does, and get color at the good, $$ salon, and just get my cuts at Supercuts. Or, doing it myself, which I'm sure would backfire, as I really don't have the time, I have too much hair, etc. Although I was reading some online reviews of at home color, and Loreal Feria seemed to be the best. I will check back with this post to see if anyone has any more helpful comments....

[mothergoosemouse]

I guess I've been having a rough go of it too, because I went to the salon last week for the first time since before BlogHer.

But here's what my colorist does that works fabulously well (when I actually go to see her): She does all the foils first, then she colors the hair in between the foils (and at the base of my head, since I only get partial foils). It takes for-fucking-ever, but it covers the gray without giving me that all-over uniform color that just screams "I'm coloring my hair!"

Of course, three-inch roots do that too. I can't win.

[Angie in Texas]

this is a new phenomenon in my life, too! i don't think i can bring myself to color though . . . but please stop plucking! i don't know if 2 grow back for every 1 you pluck, but i do know that when the grey hair producing follicle makes another hair, it grows out slowly and sticks out until it's as long as the others . . . in the meantime, you have a "halo" of grey hairs.

[Nancy]

I broke down and started getting my stylist to color my hair this fall -- I was so tired of the wiry gray hairs which seemed to be taking over my head.

It's not cheap, but soo worth it for my self-esteem.

[kyra]

i bite the bullet and sit in that damn chair every six weeks. i remember the day i got the full dye job--the root color, the over-all color, and the highlights. i knew there was no turning back. ugh. but onward i go ! vanity!

[Michelle]

*Those of us*

[Michelle]

I agree with Manic Mommy. Don't do the home dye job. Those of use without grey can have fun with it, but you really need a pro. Besides, you have dark hair that may need some extra help.

It's worth the time and money to have it done correctly. Find yourself a GAY MAN in a REAL SALON to do it. Not some Supercuts person. You don't want to end up looking like some skank with Brillo Pad hair by mistake. And besides, it will make that asshole you're married to have to take care of his progeny while you do something for yourself once in a while.

[Arwen]

I used to pluck my part but I don't think I can do that anymore. I am giving up and hoping my gray is silver and my silver is pretty.
I still pluck the grey pubes though because that just gets me all disjointed.

[Manic Mommy]

Stop plucking!!! I think the old wives tales are true - two more grow back. I've been coloring since age 23.

My best advice is pay the money to have it done right. Using Nice and Easy and their ilk just results in really, really damaged hair.

I feel your pain.

[Nicole]

You probably shouldn't listen to me as I don't have grey hair. I am known, however for changing the colour of my hair fairly frequently. My hair will go streaky-blonde from dark brown at the drop of a hat (see: any UV on it) and look like a really bad dye job. So I do my own dye job with ye olde box of hair dye.

If you go that route: Clairol Hydrience, about the same shade or one shade darker than your normal colour.

[Eryn]

I wish I had good advice, but I have been staring at the same bottle of hair dye for months. I used to dye my hair for fun, but now that I have to because of grey at 28, its not all that fun. Trying to decide if I should just accept it gracefully or what. Course, now I'm loosing my hair, so it may not matter anyway.

[Assertagirl]

I feel your 31-year-old pain. I have my hair coloured in a salon, but it's a five minute walk away. My problem is that I don't usually do the maintenance on a new colour, like having my roots dyed, etc.

[Selfmademom]

I wish I had a good answer for you. I'm still in "plucking" mode. I think when the time comes, I'm just going to sic the kid on a sitter and do whatever it is I have to do to rid the gray!