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March 19, 2008


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LOL--I just love the way you write.

I, after three kiddos, feel that my stomach looks like a really old man's @ss. Yes-that is the best way I have been describing it lately. Insert strech marks where wrinkles would be, and there you have it. An old man's @ss...

Gotta laugh about it....my husband doesn't notice.

Must schedule eye exam for him.....

I forgot to add to my post to the ladies:

Oh....I am 50, no sorry, 52. I keep forgetting, born in '56.



Oh, no...........

You are so very wrong. For the same reason we ridicule men for being 'gerks' we need to credit them for this ...... and if you don't know this, its a big 'gerk alert' for you.

Men love your bodies. OMG, you just don't know.

The two or three brain cells we credit them with include compatible amounts of testosterone (that wonderful sex hormone that stimulates development of male's sex organs and sexual thoughts) that makes our female bodies - as they are, ladies - sexual wonderlands to them.

From this day on, USE this sexual gerk alert. What you and I see as boobs that are pancakes when we lay on our backs, are sexually provacative . . . I know. It is hard to believe, but men love our bodies. When we are wearing jeans that are perhaps tight, there's a man around you that is loving you (that you are revealing your assets in the below and between area, aka, cameltoe). Ladies, you turn men on.

Chill about your vision of you. In fact, warm it up and play with it, enjoy your sexual being as it is today and even if tonite you are tired and you are body-comatose, remember your body is a wonderland to your man.


Ah, yep. My boobs are south of of the border. I think there are "some" in our society that think that big ones are a turn on. I've learned the bigger they are, the harder they flop after kids.

I realized how floppy they were as I was jogging down the staircase last year. I kept wondering "what is that smacking sound?" It's my breasts flopping against me! Ack!!!!!

I think I've had a bra on 24/7 since then. STILL glad I nursed. Shannon

I've got about a month before number three in as many years makes her debut. I find myself hoping that things aren't that gravitationally different than they were after the last one, but feel fairly safe that it won't kill me if they are.

This was a great post.

L.O.V.E I.T.!!!!!!! How incredibly true! I almost secretly wish there was a breast implant store that I could wander by every once in a while and stare at the implants (also with my name on them), and wish I could have them but know they are about as practical as a $400 pair of shoes in my life right now!!! Until then, I will keep my "pre-baby" bras in my drawer in hopes that they grow back some day!

And another spin on it . . . I miss my pregnant body. I never felt more beautiful or perfect than when I was 36 weeks pregnant. No stretch marks, a nice taut basketball belly, boobs that could still be contained by a good bra - I was loving my body for the first time in my life.

I'm certainly not a fan of it 8 weeks postpartum, but I'm trying to learn to at least take care of it.

Okay, this is funny, cause I was really noticing the hair thing. I have a line of long hairs under my belly button like a guy. It is really icky. If I shave...it is even ickier...what is the deal with that. Why on earth would I need more hair?

And dreams...I had a dream with dead white otters in it...lots of them, scattered among some live brown rabbits. I have no idea what it means...just saying.

visiting you via the BUZZ

Oh yeah, right there with you....try most of the last 7 years! Although, now that we are pregs again, the hubs is admiring my ever expanding saggy baggy body. He is so nice DURING the pregnancy....

Dude. Even rinky dink roller coaster rides are awesome if you are drunk enough. Not that you'd have to be drink to ride you.

This didn't come out right.

Preach it sista! I've 3 kiddos in 3 1/2 years and man it reaks havoc on the bod, namely the girls upstairs and the midsection blob. H


Preach it sista! I've 3 kiddos in 3 1/2 years and man it reaks havoc on the bod, namely the girls upstairs and the midsection blob. H


Today I don't feel the way you do. Tomorrow I might. Sometimes a girl needs to vent, right? We all know you love your kids, wouldn't trade 'em, blah, blah, blah. You are beautiful and if you don't feel that way every minute of your life, you'll be okay. I hope you feel better about it tomorrow.

were you in my brain today? Seriously. For the last few days I've been thinking about how I had just begun to feel comfortable with my body again post-baby (she's 2) and here I go again! For the next nine months I'm watching what I eat for entirely different reasons, my body will go beserk again and it will take another few years before I'm comfy in my skin again. It's almost too much to think about and then I hear it might be twins?! My head will explode.

Funny to read this as I unbutton my too-tight pants and vow to go downstairs and exercise. . .yeah, my body has definitely taken a beating, but this old coaster can still hit 60 and do a loop-de-loop when it wants to.

I get wistful for days-gone-by---those insanely crazy days of my 20's---it doesn't mean I am not happy now, it just seems hard to believe that I will never get to experience those moments in time again.

I totally get this post, very well put. I too have these thoughts and I mean THOUGHTS because out loud, I say I am proud of the way this body has worked especially in front of my 10 year old daughter!

Don't worry dear, when your my age you'll forget what your perky breasts looked like. You'll be glad that you didn't have to give birth to your 6 foot tall 130 pound son! When he looks down at you, you'll feel small! See what you have to look forward to?

I do get a little disheartened at what has changed for the worst but I just remind myself of what it was for. I would do it again.

One thing that amazes me though is that my husband seems to think I'm hotter now, with saggy boobs, strech marks and an extra 20 or so pounds to lose that he did before I birthed 2 kids.

AND submommy is a RUNNER.

:) You go submommy. I just run to the shitter.

Boy, I'm all over the place on this one today, huh?

Sarah-Jean, I didn't lose my body. I'm 15 pounds LIGHTER today than I was the day that I got married - pre-kids.

My point was, I took my awe at my body's ability and started taking good care of it. It's not the same - no. But I'm in better shape and more fit than I've ever been because having kids gave me drive I'd never had before.

Now if only my boobs were actually the same size....

I agree that it takes time to come to accept the mommy body. I'm actually delaying weaning partially due to the fear of what the girls will look like when I'm done ...and the fact it is great for the baby.

oh yeah.. here. read it. http://jennnster.blogspot.com/2008/03/my-body-is-not-wonderland.html

i posted about this too. with the same title (minus the ranch part.. which was brilliant).. you and i are ONE. ONE I TELL YOU.
and i heart you. flat ass and all.

I used to be a professional dancer with an amazing body that I was really, really proud of.

Now I don't even want to think about bathing suits or shorts for that matter.

I weigh 25 pounds more than I used to and I'm a short girl. It's obvious.

No, I don't think I'll ever come to terms with the stretch marks on my thighs and left boob, or the large amounts of fat that have now taken residency in the most unflattering places on my hips.

And any woman that says they "don't care" or it "doesn't matter because my kid was so worth it" is just in denial and trying to make themselves feel better any way they can.

I think everyone has to mourn their lost body. It's all part of the growing and maturing process that makes us a mother. If we didn't go through the loss of sexiness, we wouldn't realize the finer things in life - like having our lives revolve around our children. It's God's way of making us more mature.......

But f*ck maturing! I want a tummy tuck!!

Gracefully may be pushing a little. Especially when I'm trying on bras, and my lefty pops out and the righty stays in.


How is 'coming to terms' = self-hating, KayKay?

Our bodies change with motherhood. Sometimes it's hard to deal with that change because, well, change can be hard. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with self-loathing, and it isn't dismissable on the basis that others might have more obviously distressing changes to cope with it. It just is.

(awesome post, k)

KayKay - I'm not sure I want an amusement park ride body, but I don't think there's anything wrong with discussing the changes to your body and how they make you feel.

Kudos to those who are able to accept the changes and move on gracefully. But who says we're all that heroic?

And WhyMommy. I totally get it. I needed a dose of your reality today. Thanks for making me thankful today.

Funny, (in an odd way - not funny ha ha) I sort of have the opposite feeling about my body now after a few kids and some stretch marks.

It amazes me.

I took it for granted before I had kids. Now, I see it as the most amazing thing ever. Not so much in the looks department, but in the utter and complete amazing job it did bringing forth and sustaining life.

It galvanized me to take care of it better.

So, take heart - floppy boobs = thriving human being. There are worse things.

Kristen, I didn't say at all that your feelings aren't valid or fair. Feel them. Talk about them. I'm glad that you are.

Just ... oh, nevermind.

You know, ugh, how do you have time for these self hating thoughts. How are we as women supposed to get other people to stop hating us if we can't stop hating ourselves. It's hard not to spend time worrying about your looks, I'm not unrealistic, but how productive is it? Make the most of what you've got and prioritize. If having an amusement park ride body is what you want, then spend 4 hours at the gym everyday. If hanging out with your kids and being a great mom is your priority then do that and don't SWEAT THE REST. It's exhausting, belittling, misogynist and without purpose to think you can do both all the time. And there's nothing wrong with looking great for having three kids. It would be nice if we could all look 23 forever but it ain't going to happen for anyone, ever.

I don't know. When I wrote my "letter to my body" for the BlogHer initiative, I realized that it's DIFFERENT, but in some ways it's better. The changes are a sign of what it's done, you know?

Of course Whymommy.

We should all take our situations and remember that there are woemn who would most happily take our worst as their best.

But with all due respect, I didn't think of this as a pity party, but more as an honest post about how a lot of women feel about the changes that are made to their post partum bodies. We can certainly be thankful that we do have breasts, but that doesn't mean our feelings aren't valid or fair.

Don't mean to rain on the pity party here, but I'd love to have your boobs....

I guess that's the bonus to never having had a body to envy. I didn't have to get used to anything new post-baby.

This thanksgiving diet, though... working on my last nerve.

man, i miss my per-baby body, too.

i know i'm supposed to be all "i'm fortunate enough to be able to complain about this body, because at least i can have/had my babies", but every now and then i really miss my boobs . . .

(esp. when i catch a glimpse of them looking like udders as i'm bent over drying my legs . . . )

I told myself that I would give myself three years to see if I could get used to and comfortable with my new body,after having two 10 lb babies. I did. I know it isn't perfect, but when I look at the perfect looking tummy of a friend I realize that she adopted. She'd happily have a sagging body.

after checking out the bodies at shape of a mother, i realized that i'm not alone, and that it could be worse. but, i'm right with you on all these thoughts!

I was totally checking out my stomach yesterday, the way the skin is stretched beyond all recognition. Yeah, I guess it's great that I can still fold it into my jeans...but lying on my side, I get a hairless cat nuzzling right up beside me.

And then I have to remind myself, all changes aside, how remarkable our bodies truly are, to be able to grow, birth and nourish.

Great post, Kristen, focusing on the reality of the post-birth and pregnant body, and also the miracle.

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