*in bed*
The Huz: Oooooh Honey *grabs my thighs* When you were in college, did you ever think your thighs would be this big?
Me: Um. No.
The Huz: And did you ever think you'd be 200 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????
Me: Um. No.
The Huz: Mmmmmmm. You're just soooooooo big.
Me: Um. Yep.
The Huz: You know what it's like? Like taking a ride on that... oh what's it called? Oh! FREE WILLY. Hahahahahahahahaha.
Me: Yep. Good Night.
--
Humor this here Free Willy (or is Carnie Wilson better?) and go to our Blog Blast today. You've got a great chance at winning some free wedgie-free underpants, WHICH, actually do work. And don't forget about Blog the Recession! It's not too late to join.
The credit loans suppose to be useful for people, which are willing to start their business. By the way, it is very comfortable to get a bank loan.
Posted by: KINNEY28Kristi | March 05, 2010 at 02:12 AM
OMG! How annoying!!
Posted by: bunny | September 02, 2008 at 02:46 AM
Oh my god. I don't know how you didn't punch him.
And you've sucked in a new reader :)
I love the blogosphere.
Posted by: Vee | September 01, 2008 at 04:53 PM
Please tell me you made that up.
Please?
Posted by: Mojo | August 27, 2008 at 01:59 PM
Just shoot him he deserves it. He'd be outside sleep in dog house different zip code. I am few sizes larger than when we married but he better not say anything- fortunately he does not.
Posted by: lyn | August 27, 2008 at 10:42 AM
If I ever happen to meet your Huz, I'm going to kick him in the balls. With all the pregnancy hormones, I'm not sure how you haven't murdered him.
Posted by: Amanda | August 26, 2008 at 11:31 AM
PLEASE tell me he didn't really say that...
Sometimes, guys are just dumb.
Posted by: The Other Sister-in-Law | August 25, 2008 at 08:31 PM
I am in your shoes. I am over 6 feet tall and preggers.
However, my husband is 260 pounds. Therefore, I do not feel bad until I outweigh him.
Which is not altogether outside the realm of possibilities.
Posted by: Katie | August 25, 2008 at 04:50 PM
So then you threatened to roll over on his skinny ass and smother him in his sleep, right?
Free Willy...sheesh...he has no idea how good he has it.
Posted by: Christina | August 25, 2008 at 12:06 PM
Wow...I don't even know what to say. Let me just offer a brief apology from the guy side. We're not all like that...really.
Posted by: Jim | August 25, 2008 at 11:36 AM
And he's still alive after that?
Posted by: dysfunctional mom | August 25, 2008 at 10:59 AM
shoulda put a disclaimer - "do not eat while you read!" I was laughing so hard!!!
My husband is doing the same thing now - especially because when we met I was 98 pounds and now after 5 kids and this pregnancy making it #6 - let's just say I am not skinny anymore (by no means am I huge either! I am at 156 and am 26 weeks preggo) but let's just say that his loving comment of my "cottage cheese thighs" do not make it any more romantic
Posted by: Krystal | August 25, 2008 at 09:36 AM
He is a real winner there.
Sensitive and caring for his pregnant wife.
Posted by: Melissa P. | August 25, 2008 at 03:01 AM
bwahahahahaha
I think I've had that same conversation with MY husband.
jerks. the whole lot of them.
Posted by: Tara R | August 25, 2008 at 12:30 AM
WTF do men really think this shit works??? Really. How would they like it if we rubbed their belly and said we wanted to ride Santa?? Ugh, course they are usually horny and would probably go for it!
Posted by: Heidi | August 25, 2008 at 12:21 AM
To quote Paris Hilton: "That's hot."
Posted by: mothergoosemouse | August 24, 2008 at 11:46 PM
holy crap! how did you manage to get pregnant in the first place with a smoother talker like THAT trying to crawl in your pants?
Posted by: Anissa@Hope4Peyton | August 24, 2008 at 10:51 PM
If I were you, I'd start hiding important shit like keys, his credit card, his driver's license, one favorite shoe that he regularly wears, etc. Stuff like that would make him feel like he's going insane while trying to find it and you wouldn't have to say a thing.
You could always hide his garage door opener, his sunglasses, his cell phone, or leave popcorn bits and Cheerios all over the floor in strange areas so he has to vacuum incessantly (which I know he loves to do).
Pranks are the way to go. You could also hide the remote or his iPod, but those are obvious things to mysteriously "lose."
And make yourself unavailable when he needs to find them. In fact, hide one thing a day and see how long it takes him to lose his mind. Heh.
Posted by: Amy | August 24, 2008 at 09:57 PM
I have to agree - this is verbal abuse.
This is not funny.
You should not have to put up with this, and your children should not have to see nor hear this.
Posted by: anonymous | August 24, 2008 at 09:04 PM
Just found you through Redneck Mommy.
Love your blog!!!! (adding to my blogroll)
Now...who said that chivalry was dead? Your hubby sounds like a charmer. and you...a good sport.
Posted by: TentCamper | August 24, 2008 at 08:28 PM
Hey - sorry your husband is being such an ass.
I have a 7 month old son. Two weeks after he was born, my husband informed me that we had both put on weight and it was time for us to go on a diet. I am now 5 lbs below pre-preg weight and he hasn't lost a thing.
Karma is a bitch and breast feeding is your friend.
Hang in there!
Posted by: Karin | August 24, 2008 at 07:16 PM
LMAO @ Amanda and Monica.
And don't worry people. I farted him right out of the bed last night.
All's fair, right?
Posted by: Motherhood Uncensored | August 24, 2008 at 07:09 PM
And you are telling me this man is still alive and able to walk? I would have cut his balls of right on the spot and fed the hairy fuckers to him....What an ass!
Posted by: The Mansell Flying Circus | August 24, 2008 at 06:29 PM
Woman, harpoon his ass.
Start giggling whenever you see his free willy in the shower.
what an ass.
you might mention you cal always loose weight when you have the baby, but there's no little hope for fucktard like him to grow a brain.
Posted by: Scouts Honor | August 24, 2008 at 05:55 PM
For Better...meet For Worse.
Posted by: Jennifer H | August 24, 2008 at 05:24 PM
Is that his way of ensuring you won't have any more kids because he'll never get laid again?
Posted by: Amanda | August 24, 2008 at 03:55 PM
Perhaps you should remind him that Willy was a KILLER whale.
Posted by: Monica | August 24, 2008 at 03:50 PM
I would have killed my hubby for saying that to me when I was nearly 8 mths pregnant. Is he very brave or something??
Posted by: J from Ireland | August 24, 2008 at 03:36 PM
Oh. My. Gosh.
I think my reply to his first question would have been. "Did you ever think you'd be sleeping on the couch for a week?"
Posted by: Kacey | August 24, 2008 at 03:22 PM
that's abuse- verbal abuse- plain and simple.
Posted by: anonymous for this | August 24, 2008 at 03:07 PM
Where DH = Dick Head.
Posted by: Manic Mommy | August 24, 2008 at 02:49 PM
So, your Huz...and my hubby...they're the same guy??!!
The way i see it, he's lucky Free Willy didn't roll over on top of him and smother him to death .
Posted by: Jupiter | August 24, 2008 at 01:36 PM
Really? seriously?
I mean, you can't make that stuff up, I guess..but REALLY?
Does he ever, ever want to get a BJ ever again?
Posted by: Shannon | August 24, 2008 at 01:25 PM
Who says shit like that???
Posted by: Jan | August 24, 2008 at 01:19 PM
Sounds to me like someone needs to be bitchslapped!!!!
Posted by: Tina | August 24, 2008 at 01:10 PM
gigglegiggle.
Posted by: Mr Lady | August 24, 2008 at 12:54 PM
Tell him to look on the bright side.
At least he has an excuse now when he glances down and his penis looks small.
Posted by: Mom101 | August 24, 2008 at 12:54 PM
Oh. My. God.
Posted by: Sleeping Mommy | August 24, 2008 at 12:16 PM
You had me at grabbed your thighs...
Posted by: Sheri Weppel | August 24, 2008 at 11:23 AM
If my hubby would never ever dare do that. No matter how bad he was thinking it. He knows I would immediately go on a sex strike! (Plus he has a bigger belly than me now.....muahahahaha!)Pay back time.
Posted by: Alexandra @ Mommy's Got Green | August 24, 2008 at 11:06 AM
Seriously? No, Seriously? Jeez. Does he actually WANT to get laid? Coulda fooled me.
This is when penis slams are appropriate. "When you were in college, did you ever think there'd me a time when you couldn't get it up?"
Posted by: Karen (Submommy) | August 24, 2008 at 10:46 AM
Ha ha @suebob.
I think you should knock him one upside that head and see if you can't unstick it.
fucktard.
Posted by: TNG | August 24, 2008 at 10:31 AM
Oh, no he dint!
Posted by: Oh, The Joys | August 24, 2008 at 10:28 AM
I really think your husband is kind of demented... who SAYS that? That's not even on the questionable side of inappropriate.
Posted by: Leigh Anne | August 24, 2008 at 10:21 AM
Is his brain just permanently set to "Say Stupid Shit"?
Posted by: Suebob | August 24, 2008 at 10:07 AM
This would be the hate part.
Posted by: I'm Not Skippy | August 24, 2008 at 10:03 AM
Did he really think he'd get some after that? Men... so clueless. Good thing they're cute.
Posted by: Jill | August 24, 2008 at 09:49 AM
NICE! Guess that's a no on the new sex toy then?
Posted by: Jamie E | August 24, 2008 at 09:26 AM
This is when I would pat my husband's belly and smugly remark, "And isn't it crazy that you've got this sympathy baby bump going on? Pretty soon we'll BOTH look pregnant, but I appreciate you carrying the burden for now."
Posted by: Tatiana | August 24, 2008 at 09:21 AM
Oy, he's a peach. I think I'd have to start playing 15-year-old-boy pranks on him when he sleeps.
Posted by: Fairly Odd Mother | August 24, 2008 at 08:55 AM
Yeah, my husband does shit like that sometimes, too. I think he does it because he thinks it's fun to watch how fast I can jump out of bed, switch on the laptop, connect to the internet and blog about it. Oftentimes, just to piss him off, I'll take my sweet time getting my robe on.
Posted by: Trish | August 24, 2008 at 08:35 AM