I Have a New Love
I guess it's not really that new. I mean, it started way back in grade school, kept on strong through high school, and then fizzled in college. We got pretty hot n' heavy while I was pregnant (hadn't had any in awhile), and well, now I can't stop. Okay, it's not that bad, but I enjoy it more than just now and then. It's more like now and now. I currently enjoy the LIGHT version, of course, but honestly, it goes down just as easily.
It's an interesting phenomenon, the RANCH dressing. I always wondered, why is it called that? When I taste it, I don't really think of the ranch. I mean other dressings, like "Balsalmic Vinagarette (ingredients: Balsam and Vinegar - obviously)," make sense to me. It's obvious that "Thousand Island" was made in the Thousand Islands and that "French Dressing" is the national salad topping of France. But, Ranch? I'm just not sure. Does it have ingredients that you find on a ranch? I haven't heard of a Xantham Gum ranch. Or maybe, it was made on the ranch. Cowboys sure know how to combine garlic powder, onion powder, egg yolks, and some other really long words to make something that is mmm mmm good. I'm not exactly sure how it comes out white, but hell, what do I care. It tastes goooooood.... And, I guess if you eat Ranch Dressing ON a ranch, you just have to ask for Dressing and they know what you mean. Sweet.
It amazes me (and little does, these days) how much food tastes good with Ranch dressing. Other than desserts and fruits (although I guess you never know), Ranch tastes good on everything. And, well, seeing as I was pregnant for 9 months, you can imagine I know this for a fact. I mean EVERYTHING. Just give me a side of Ranch and I can get anything down. If you know me well, then you know that I speak only the truth.
Now, I want to make it clear. I speak of the Original Ranch or Light. Don't give me any of this fat free shit. I think I'd rather eat a big flaming pile of cow poo than that stuff. It tastes like I'm pouring a chemical all over my sweet potato. Or, sewage all over my french toast. I want the REAL stuff or REAL stuff with slightly less calories and fat. I'm a purist. I don't even really like the 'variations on the theme' of Ranch. Chips, okay. Dip, fine. But, please, do we really need to complicate things with Chili Ranch Lime Mexican Mayo? What happened to Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, Plain OLD RANCH???? *sigh*
If you haven't tried it, or have been taking a break (for whatever crazy reason you might have). Get back off the wagon - jump back in the pool - join the popular crowd. It's not just a salad topping. It's a way of life.
