Of the many joys I experience living in the suburbs, I savor the privilege of getting up in arms about important life issues the most. Like the HOA, who will actually take the time to inform you with a typed, stamped letter that your unauthorized garden stones are in code violation.
Then there are the foreclosures on my street, that wouldn't be so bad except a few of them have taken to using Facebook to update their friends (and former neighbors) about their exciting endeavors, like new cars! amazing vacations! fabulous view from our awesome house! all made possible now since they don't have to pay a mortgage.
Except they conveniently leave that last part out.
But lately, the neighborhood has been divided over a pool dome, or bubble, or whatever word you use to describe a gigantic cloth balloon encasing our neighborhood pool, which allows the local swim team to practice during the winter months, and gives access to residents at certain times which no one seems to know.
Dontcha wish your dome was hot like mine?
It seemingly just popped up one day, unbeknownst to most of us, which I think is everyone's biggest issue. The HOA approved a pool dome that looks like a gigantic pair of ripped, torn, and stained maternity underpants to be strapped down around the pool and then blown up with hot air but don't you dare let your lawn grow an inch too high.
And on any given day, the dome will be down, then up, then down again, sort of like a 14-year-old boy's penis, creating a liability issue.
Then there's this issue that it interferes with house sales, which in other circumstances I could get but when people are ditching their homes for greener pastures, I'm pretty sure the big bubble over our pool will not deter people from the "pay what you can" asking prices.
So, with neighbors divided and a committee formed in protest, it's no surprise that the kids are well aware of the infamous dome, mostly because we drive by it every day and it's become a source of entertainment.
Will the dome be up or down? Spot the new stain! What shape does that rip look like?
But then, just a few days ago, Quinlan decided to start a newspaper, The Atlanta Lanta, inspired by Kit the American Girl doll of all things, and handed me her first article.
"The Dome's End"
An illustrated editorial piece about the pros and cons of the pool dome, ending with breaking news that it might be replaced by an actual indoor pool structure soon, deflating the divisive issue once and for all.
I wanted to put a photo copy in everyone's mailbox. And get her on the docket for the next Civic Affairs meeting because she's had the best take on this whole pool dome debacle that I've read.
And she's seven years old.
Then Quinlan asked me what issue she should tackle next. "Maybe your slow Internet, Mommy?"
I like the way this girl thinks.
Besides, today's pool dome and crappy Internet service might be tomorrow's women's rights and world hunger.
Everyone's gotta start somewhere, right?