Motherhood Uncensored

RIP The Mom Trap: Or "Yay, One Less Blog to Fill Up Your Feed Reader!"

Apparently I'm reeaaaaaaaaaallly out of it because I had not realized that the Clubmom Blog Program (and really, everything else about Clubmom) was being laid to rest. Leave it to my savvy commenters to let me know!

It's true that The Mom Trap has been what I consider "Motherhood Uncensored Lite." It has been a place for me to blather away about whatever I want -- all PG rated of course. I'm thankful to have had the chance to use a blog as a diary. Motherhood Uncensored contains my uncensored thoughts, strung together in clean essays (almost a column). The Mom Trap has been a place for me to ask questions, share silly thoughts, and just be -- with mostly no judgment and a quiet crowd of friends and fellow bloggers who politely share what they think.

I won't be continuing The Mom Trap. I'll be happy to not have to check another email address that's for sure! But truly, I'm fortunate to have other thriving opportunities that can certainly use my time and attention. But I will be moving the archives over to Motherhood Uncensored.

And you can always find me there, as well as at Cool Mom Picks and Parent Bloggers Network (and various other places that you can find here). I'm ever appreciative of your readership and your thoughtful comments.

I hope you'll continue to join me on my adventures. Yes, it's definitely R-rated. But it's still just as fun.

I promise. 

Drudgery and Whine

So, here's the thing. That Little Rock move might not actually happen because apparently my husband doesn't like the officer housing. "Deplorable" was the word he used.

That's pretty bad.

And we have pets, so no Temporary Living Facility (TLF) which is brand new and gorgeous. And the furnished housing -- 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, family of four? Eh. I'd rather stay here.

In Atlanta.

So my search for a babysitter is on. I'm trying not to think about that I cancelled Q's preschool. Ugh.

Guilt. Ugh.

Doesn't help that I've been working my BUTT off on this thing (Isn't it lovely? C'mon. Isn't it?). That means bad parent. Bad neglective parent who really needs a babysitter or to have put her daughter in preschool.

So, that's where I am. This is where I am. HERE. And feeling a little overwhelmed.

Trying to do Thanksgiving crafts and buy Christmas gifts and do things with the kids and try TRY to get out of the house which I have learned is nearly impossible with a 2-nap per day child. I mean, you go out when? For lunch? Yeah. That doesn't work so well. 

So I'm Weepy. Tired. Probably PMSing.

And I can't figure out what to feed my son for breakfast that is finger food. Apparently he's "over" baby food.

Any ideas?   

Usually Books Put Me Right to Sleep (Like I Need Any Help With That)

My excuse for not having read any fiction for the last few years (I know TERRIBLE) is that it puts me right to sleep. And it's certainly not because it's boring. It's because the second I sit in bed and grab a book, I fall right asleep.

It's uncanny really.

So, unless I keep a book in the bathroom (heh), it's never getting read -- which makes me a bit sad that it has come to that for me. I love books and I love reading. It just seems that reading has been one of the things motherhood has ruined for me.

Even when I do get the hankering for a good fiction that is not heavy like a Bronte' sister book (sorry, I need something easy, light, and fluffy), I have no idea what's out there. Do you pick a book because its cover is really cute? I think not.

So, when I was asked to check out Dangerous Admissions, I was hesitant. Because that would mean I would actually have to read. Something. Other than a blog.

The first adult fiction by author Jane O' Connor (known for her Fancy Nancy books), Dangerous Admissions addresses the issues of private education -- but the good ones. Not like school lunches and all that crap, but what parents will do to get their kids into a private academy.

Bribery? Payoffs? A dead Director of Admissions? You name it.

And it was terribly intriguing. And not that difficult to read. In fact, I didn't fall asleep once. I found myself relating to the the protagonist -- a harried single-mom Rannie, although most of the other characters were pretty stereotypical. And while some of the twists and turns were a bit predictable (okay, I figured some out before I even got there, but I'm smart like that...)

And my favorite part. The competi-mommies. I love me some competimommies.

Now, like another blogger, I found her writing style extremely refined and approachable. Something that doesn't seem to fit hugely well with mystery. I would love to read something else from her, but perhaps not mystery next time.

So, my reco is buy this book. Stash it in your nightstand. And treat yourself to a little escapism.

For more reviews, click here. And make sure to listen to my podcast tonight (or subscribe via iTunes). I've got the Daring Book for Girls authors on! (PS. The book is on sale for $14.97 -- snatch one up!)

Leave a comment here to be entered to win a copy of Dangerous Admissions!

All Alone Again

The huz has officially started training in Little Rock and so it's back to me and the kids for at least this week. We're hoping he can make it home this coming weekend.

With a house barely unpacked (does that ever actually happen when you have a house, or do you always have boxes?), and the prospect of having to pack stuff again so we can move out there with him, I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Put it this way, I've been drinking.

Pepsi.

It seems like that's almost worse than a beer. I never really drink soda. But with my husband home, I was able to sleep in a little (read: until 7:30am). But now, we're all up at the butt crack of dawn.

I've tried to convince my daughter that she can't wake up until the sun is up.

Have you tried to convince a three-year-old of anything lately? OY.

So, it's dark out, we're all awake, and I get the feeling where I don't know where to begin. Days seem like big long circles. Toy comes out. Toys are played with. Toys are put away. Toys come out....

You get the picture.

I've been feeling tired but somewhat renewed. Maybe it's because I've done some cleaning out. Or that I can wear more of my old clothes again.

Who knows. But something is better.

I'm hoping to explore the city a bit before we leave for awhile. The air is crisp. The adventures are here.

I just need to get off my butt and go tackle them.

--

My Clubmom friends Sheri and Tracey are part of a fantastic photo contest called Mama Focus. Please enter! It's free -- and you can win a camera.  

Is Parenting Twins Harder or Just Different Than Parenting Two Kids?*

Humor me.

*No, I'm not pregnant with twins.

But THOSE Toys are Too Expensive, So I'm Just Going to Buy Them DVDs

If I hear that ONE more time, I think I might hurl plush toys and video games. I appreciate everyone's mild concerns about the toy recalls (cripes, doesn't the Aqua Dots thing make you even a little bit annoyed?), but let's be real. Just because toys are being recalled doesn't mean there aren't really great ones out there that don't involved plush and large electronics.

Duh!

But I'm not just going to share my list of favorite shops and where I bought all my kids' toys this holiday, but I am going to tell you about a great non-profit site that's running a "Get the Lead Out This Holiday Season." Consumers Union (the publisher of Consumer Reports) is asking people to sign up to be Safe Shoppers and hand out coupons at their local stores and get the message to the managers that we are SERIOUS. NO MORE LEAD TOYS on the shelves.

If you haven't gone shopping lately, then be forewarned, there are still recalled toys on the shelves. And as one mom found out, there's only one person testing them over at the CPSC.

ONE!

So, here's what you can do. Sign up to be a shopper and then send your business elsewhere -- what about small family run businesses that have tested their toys and know that they are safe? Yes, you might have to spend a little bit more, but believe me, it's WORTH IT. And keep in mind, this year I've asked the grandparents just to give us money. And since they tend to spend WAY too much every year, I've got a bit of leeway. There are certainly some cheaper options than what I've chosen, but we don't really buy any other toys during the year.

You can also find a lot of these things over at Amazon. But I price shop and if the smaller bizzes have good prices, then I'll give them my business.

And the best part, NONE of these require batteries, so you're going to save money that way.

Drew (Christmas and Birthday)

Drew's Favorite Rattle (they did his mattress as well, shop is owned by a mom)

Toddler Trike

Hammer Balls 

Radio Flyer Classic Walker Wagon 

I-Play Super Spiral Play Tower 

Artisan One-of-a-Kind Elephant

Quinlan

Ball Track

Puppets (Handmade by Artisans in Kenya)

Puppet Theater (have yet to purchase)

Gingerbread House (handmade by two moms)

Crown and Silk Dress-Up Skirt (shop is owned by a mom)

Stocking: Book Light and The Paper Bag Princess Book, Dinosaur Puzzles, Memory Game (she did Drew's room artwork as well and is a mom!), Red Riding Hood Finger Puppets (I bought the last set here -- shop is owned by a mom)

--

You can find many discount codes for these shops here. And please share your favorite picks for this holiday. If you'd like to support the Consumers Union, please write a post today. Specific details are here. You can help get the word out about the toy recalls!

And if you're looking for something specific or some ideas for the holidays, email us at Cool Mom Picks. We can give you some great suggestions!

I Saw This And I Nearly Threw Up

Seriously, people.

We've got to do something. Please participate tomorrow. We need to spread the word about this crap.

Moving.

Congrats to Eryn and Jill H. Email me with your address and I'll send off your photo books. And to those of you who commented, thank you. Check out Tracey's Photo Blog Picture This. It has really helped me take better pics of my kids.

Many of you that read my other blog know that I have chosen (I'm reminding myself that I do have a choice in this) to move to Little Rock with my husband while he does National Guard training. He starts 11/12 and will be there at least through February. We're hoping he can get transferred back to Dobbins AFB (in Atlanta where we live) for the last portion of the training. Otherwise, we'll be in Little Rock until April.

I've chosen to go for several reasons (again, reminding myself why):

a) He'll be home every night as opposed to being gone 3-4 days at a time.

b) He'll be home for the holidays.

c) I don't think I can manage with working and parenting alone 5 days out of the week every week (I know there are people that do this, but I don't think that mentally I can).

d) While I might be physically able to parent alone during the week, I'm not sure how that will fare with my children, mainly my daughter who would miss her father terribly.

And so, we've decided, thanks to our two gigantic dogs, that we'll need to live in furnished housing on base. But, I'm really not sure exactly how to manage this temporary move.

1) Should I leave after Thanksgiving and have him come home for that holiday, or should we all just go together this weekend *gulp* and stay there, knowing that the back and forth for the kids might be rough.

2) What should I bring? It's furnished -- but I'll need toys, my own linens, toys, computer... Anything else you might suggest I take?

3) Should I try to put my daughter in school while we're there, or just find a sitter and make a dedicated effort to get her out into some activities (like a music class, dance, etc.) so that she has the opportunity to play with other kids? This does mean that I will have to make some social efforts -- not generally my strong point since I LOVE to sit at home and work work work.

4) Would you go back to your house for the Christmas holidays? or just stay there?

5) Finally, why won't my 9.5 month old son, who's got his two top teeth FINALLY cutting, not nap? Just curious why all of a sudden he refuses to take his blessed once a day but still amazing 2.5 hour nap.

Help?!

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

*You can still enter to win a photo book all day today. Just leave me a comment with the biggest problem you have taking pics of your kids and I'll pick 2 winners at random. And then go check out my beauty blunder and share yours. It's a doozy! Happy Friday!*

Clearly I am not known for taking great pictures.

I've been working on it. And since my Canon died (may that huge cumbersome annoying camera rest in peace), I've been playing around with my snappy little Olympus ($129.99 Thank you Target). I have to say, the editing system it comes with is fantastic (easy cropping, no red eye -- it rocks).

And I figure, I've got to work on this since I can't always rely on my friend to get pictures. I must be able to get a few of my own!

Or at least ones that aren't blurry.

So, check out my interview with Susan Getgood for HP! They were kind enough to send me some really awesome photobooks, two of which I'd be happy to give to two of The Mom Trap readers today. Just leave me a comment and tell me the biggest problem you have getting good pics of your kids. I'll pick two winners at random.

And while you're at it, check out my halloween cuties. (Note my crafty efforts ala dwarf costume!). Feel free to share the link to yours!

And don't forget about this awesome Blog Blast tomorrow. If you haven't seen this book, it's FANTASTIC. It's like a complete guide to cosmetics for dummies like me. And you can win FREE MAKE-UP! WOOHOO!

So Really, What ARE You Doing About Lead in Toys?

Just when you thought it was safe to buy 14 battery operated no-off button heinously loud Dora toys, yet another recall list drops.

I'm kidding. I have never purchased ONE battery operated toy.

Um, well, at least for my kids.

[ahem]

But honestly, it's more my in-laws that I worry about. We've spent Christmas with them every year since my daughter was born and I'm not one to say they have to "run" their toy choices by me because I would just leave them all there (heh). But this year, I'm afraid.

Not only due to the recalls, but also because I have my own house now. And I don't want that crap in my house.

I've got two boxes FULL of crappy little toys that I have yet to give away or *gulp* Freecycle. And I don't want any more. I've got a big wonderful list of fantastic toys that I want to get for them.

And I've emailed it to them, trying to subtly beg them to purchase those and not the lifesized plush Dora and Diego doll.

But seriously, what are you guys doing this year when it comes to the recalls? And check out this awesome page at Cafemom!

Do You Want to Know a Secret?

When I'm extremely bored here, alone in my house and the kids are sleeping (shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh), I'm a Googler.

I Google everyone.

People I know. People I knew. Old annoying ex-boyfriends. Bitchy friends from college.

You name it. I google them.

I'm not so sure exactly what motivates me to dredge up the past, but I do it anyway, and quite frankly, I've never found anything of great interest. But it is bizarre to think about how connected we can all still be thanks to the internet.

With Facebook and Linkedin alone, I've found a TON of people I would never have talked to again (some good, some not so good).

So, do you Google?  Seriously. Admit it right here.

And separately, if you could tell me exactly when the "threes" get easier, that would be great. I mean, one was hard, two was hard, and now three. THREE!

She told me that she didn't like the way I was talking to her when I told her to clean up. She said I had to be nicer. She said if I make bad choices (i.e. use a tone of voice that is not nice) that I'm going to have to sit in the corner.

I nearly caught myself arguing about my tone of voice. With a THREE YEAR OLD.

Cripey. And she's throwing huge tantrums when she gets frustrated. And she misses her grandparents. YES, the freaking in-laws. Apparently we have to go visit them next week. And the week after. And every week.

Oy.

Shoes Glorious Shoes!

A reader emailed me asking about baby shoes.

Okay, so it was a Cool Mom Picks reader. You guys never write to me. *wah* (okay, guilt over. Now I'll get all these trolly emails).

But still, it's a good question. There are A.LOT. of baby shoes out there. Of course, if you're a knock off purchaser or one of those "dude, they are shoes, for a baby, who doesn't walk or really need shoes" people, then I'm not going to offer you any interesting information. But if you love baby shoes, and feel that they are INDEED required or that they are the BEST part of having a baby (you know, after that whole birthing and sleepless night part), then read on. Oh, and keep in mind that a lot of these were started by moms, and many of them are run by moms. So, you're giving money back to moms.

That's cool, I think.

The Shlippers: Now, these have become uber popular and there are about six-bazillion brands of these, including Shoo-shoos, Bobux, and Jack and Lily. My two personal favorites are Cute Baby Shoes and Robeez (a mom-started company that was just bought by Stride Rite). Both of which have some cute styles and run around the same price.

I love me a cute shlipper (yay for Robeez for putting out some more rockin' styles), but as many people will say, they can get a little slick and icky. Plus, when you go outside and they are cruising, it just seems like they need a little padding (or is that just me?). A great vegan alternative is Isabooties - started by two moms and the styles are EXTRA cute. The ones I have seem a little thinner than Robeez, but they have a great sole that's got some grip to it.

The Non-Functional But Incredibly Cute Baby Shoe: There are about the same number (that's six-bazillion if you're counting) of great shoe companies like Pedipeds, for example. My other favorites include Pedoodles (great for first time walkers) and Oh Fives (ridiculously adorable). But my ultimate favorite is Vincent Shoes -- a Swedish company that makes fairly affordable pre-walkers (extra affordable if you use this code: OCT-20-OFF).

Drew has the Mini's and we love them not only because they are adorable, but because they actually have some support and padding. However, they're still soft and comply with all the "early baby walker shoe rules."

I'm a huge fan of European styling, so these shoes are perfect for my taste, and the Minis have a bit of ankle support as well. The dot sole is great for grippage on our hard wood floors. And he doesn't try to pull them off. I take that as a good sign.

You can always try to win some for yourself. Just check out the site and leave a comment here with your favorite shoe (any one -- not just a prewalker) and why you like it.

And I'll be honest. I was getting really tired of the shlipper.

There I said it. 

Keep in mind, a lot of these places carry older kids shoes, (here's a complete listing) and so it's worth checking them out if you're sick of the same styles and same offerings. We tend to spend more money on shoes for my daughter since she broke her leg as a young toddler and we both think she needs good support. However, she gets blisters from ALL Stride Rite shoes, so we're always looking for great alternatives that don't look like Rockports.

Now, if you have any other baby "gear" questions, apparently I think I'm the person to ask. Go figure.

I Totally Forgot How Much I Love Tampons!!!!!!

Yeah. She's back.

I guess on the bright side, this means I can get pregnant again.

Ha. Haha. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Something Happened on the Way to the In-Laws

I lost a pants size!

I guess when you only wear clothes with S/M/L then you'd never know. Or if you wear Mossimo Supply shirts, a XXXL (considering my tiny back-to-her-original-cute-size BFF wears a XXL and she's about 40 lbs lighter than me and about 8 inches shorter).

Hellloooo Mossimo. NOT the way to make women happy, my friend.

Anyway, I hadn't worn actual jeans until last week and they were both baggy. BAGGY! So, I decided to give my old pair (not my pre-pre-pre pregnancy jeans, but ones that I had worn while NOT pregnant or recovering from pregnancy) that I left at my in-laws.

And they fit.

Just fine. Not even a muffin top.

And just to make sure, I found another pair in the same size at THE GAP and then fit too. (And don't worry, I didn't steal them).

So, there's a little light at the end of the tunnel. It's amazing what fitting into your pants can do for one's soul.

Now if only I could catch some freaking zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs.

You're Only As Old as The Number of Times You Have to Get Up to Pee in the Middle of the Night

Based on the number of years I used to abstain from using public bathrooms for fear that I would fall in and get sucked into oblivion, you'd think that at this point I'd be wearing Depends.

In fact, I used to joke with people that at least they made french-cut ones.

But alas, even after two babies, I still have a bladder of steel. I'll make every OB-GYN happy and say it was because of the Kegels.

Heh.

I can generally make it through the night without having to get up to pee. For the most part, I always have, unless I've been pregnant.

And then it's an every three-hour free-for-all in which I contribute to the depletion of the ozone by going through massive amounts of toilet paper.

So now that I'm waking up WAY too often thanks to Mr. Drew, I have to say I'm tempted by the bathroom. I guess now that I'm walking past it, the toilet beckons me.

"Come, lighten your load, my friend."

But I walk past, try to ignore the talking toilet, and go back to sleep. Except then I really have to go.

And that just sucks.

I'm hoping this is the downfall of my elite bladder. Because I don't have too many things to brag about these days.

On a separate note, I need help with Drew's costume. I was thinking BLUE TIGHTS, a hoodie with yellow felt buttons, and a sock cap (where can I find this people?). Does that sound lame or cute?

And I'd love to hear your thoughts on the whole Deceptively Delicious Debacle. You know. Adding veggies secretly into our kids food will all surely send us to HELL!

Okay. Enough on the Painting.

Sheesh. You people DO know what you're talking about. And it's scaring me. We've certainly learned our lesson.

- Priming is a good thing.
- Rollers suck.
- There's a reason why people pay other people to paint.

Now. Moving along to more important things. Like either I have the world's most vicious cold or I have allergies. The cold I had kicked my butt for five straight days. That's long for a cold for me. Then I was taking allergy medicine. Then I was feeling fine.

And now I'm stuffy again and coughing weird things up. It can't be another cold, can it? (Granted both my kids are stuffy, but cripey -- change of season, new place = one very stuffy house).

And while you're at it, care to recommend a fun place to go (flying is fine, of course) that's warm and doesn't require passports. You know, since I don't have passports for my wee ones. The huz has four days off in a row before we do this whole "weeee we're moving again for a little while I'm going to stick my head in a toilet" thing.

Of course, considering my son can't breathe through is nose (TEETH I TELL YOU TEETH!) and he's not sleeping (I saw 1-3am with a happy awake baby last night -- that is not good), I'm not sure I want to go anywhere.

All I have to say is that after this is all over, I had better see teeth and somersaults. Or brain surgery. Seriously. He better have learned how to operate after all this no sleep crap.

And a big shout out to ImpostorMom who pleasantly introduced herself at Baby Loves Disco today. Her family is adorable -- AND, she's this uber baby food maker that is making me feel like a total slacker for just giving Drew orange food and some rice puffs. I have no idea what to feed the kid and I'm blaming his rash attacks last month.

Oh, and I'm lazy.

Anyway, who's got a good schedule of when/what to introduce?

I Interrupt This Parenting Blog to Tell You How Much Painting Sucks

With a few extra days off, my husband decided to paint my son's room. We're might possibly be the worst painters in the world. I mean, I've never painted anything. And my husband has painted walls he didn't really care about.

So give us a cheap roller, a 3-year-old who can actually paint but does so in the same spot over and over, and a lot of "green grasshopper" paint, you get a very long day.

LONG.

And I wasn't even painting.

I admit that it's pretty exciting to own your own home and have walls to paint cool colors like "green grasshopper." And I can understand why people paint.

But the process of painting is a bit tedious. Or at least, the process of watching someone paint is tedious.

So, I'm curious. Is there a better roller brand we should be using? Is there a specific technique that we should be using but are not? Clearly, we need help!

Just Don't Tell Anyone I Was On Martha Stewart Radio in Jessica Simpson Shoes

I vowed on principle never to buy Jessica Simpson shoes.

I know she doesn't really design them, but for criminy's sakes. Her signature is inside them. And I don't know why it bothers me, but it does.

But I was desperate and I needed to look halfway decent (read: wear clothes that actually fit that didn't look like pajamas) and the shoes were cute.

There. I said it.

And I actually walked almost 20 city blocks in them brand new.

That's pretty darn good.

But that's not really the point. The point is that Liz and I were on Martha Stewart Radio's Morning Living to talk about safer toys (you know, remember all those toys that are poisoning our kids). We had 15 minutes of fame today, and it was fabulous. Plus we got to tell everyone about our new safer toy guide (in case you were looking for toys sans poison).

If you're having as hard a time as I am keeping up, make sure to subscribe to them in your RSS feed reader (www.recalls.gov). Seriously. There are new ones everyday.

And then, guess where I went?

The Clubmom offices! That's right -- I visited where all the magic of Cafemom and Clubmom happen. It's extremely glamorous. Okay, it's very homey and down to earth. And I'm very proud and happy to be a part of their organization.

So, there you go. That was my fantastic day in New York.

Now if only I could have met Jake Gyllenhall in person (and not from behind the window at the Today Show).

I know. I'm being greedy. I'll stop.

So anyway, I'm curious. Are you a clubmom and/or cafemom user? If so, tell me your groups?!

It Just Wasn't Meant to Be

So after all that fuss about preschools and waiting lists and tours and OMG I got a spot for her it's providence crap, I realized just last week that since we're probably moving to Little Rock for five months it doesn't make sense to send her to school here.

My brilliance never ceases, eh?

I'm just hoping she'll stop talking about it because I'm dreading the whole "you're not going to be able to go to school because we're going to have to leave your pretty cool room and move yet again" conversation.

I'm going to tell you a secret.

A tiiiiiiiiiiiny little part of me is relieved.

I admit to being ambivalent about sending her to school. On one hand, I know it's great for her and she wants to be around kids, and she'll have a fantastic time. She practically pounces on anyone who comes in our door, talking their ear off and offering them a plethora of drawings.

But the other half of me worries about what she'll actually learn, who she'll meet, and if she'll set the record for colds for the school year.

I think I'm a closet school hater. It really has nothing to do with my homeschool background, since I spent the whole time I was homeschooled begging to go to school. I loved school.

Loved.

But for my daughter, it's different. Things are different. Kids, parents, teachers, kids. They are all different. And I feel so strongly about the power of school. I really do feel as though it can greatly impact a person's well being, self esteem, and personal growth.

And so I worry.

Unfortunately, it's unescapable. My daughter will need to attend school because the "good loving appropriate" mother side will win out. I will make it win out -- at least after I've done all my research and made sure it's the right decision.

But I'm thankful I have just a little more time.

Thanks for visiting The Mom Trap. Feel free to click around -- and I'd love to know what you're doing about the Toy Recalls! Plus I'm giving away some HP Photo books today. Just click here.
 

Sibling Rivalry

And so I've begun to deal with fighting children. I thought I had a bit more time for this, but alas, my son is crawling and cruising and everything his big sister does is apparently the cat's meow.

I even try to tempt him away with his favorite snack.

Paper.

He's not even interested. If she's building with legos or blocks, he is the destroyer. If she's coloring, he comes to eat her crayons. And all she can do is scream, yell, and beg me to move him.

He's become quite averse to baby prison, and so I'm left with a true dilemma. Do I continue to move him or stick him in the exersaucer? Or does she just have to learn how to deal with it?

I'm not being harsh, but there's only so much I can do -- she can go to her room and play, or she can deal with him. But then I think I'm not being very fair. She deserves to be able to play on her own if she wants to.

Speaking of which, now that we're headed to Little Rock for five months (oh, did I forget to mention that lovely news? YEAH. Thank you Air National Guard) she can't start school. And she needs to see other kids. She sent our Pet Sitter home with three pieces of artwork and an earful about everything from dinner to her halloween costume. Granted I've been sick and working a ton and so we haven't gotten out of the house but still.

Poor kid needs someone else's ear to talk off.

So what do I do? Move him? Move her? Teach her how to deal with it? Lock them both up?

Because Peeing and Breastfeeding are Almost the Same Thing, Right?

At least, that's what a few folks are saying over at the YouTube. I've got nursing video over up over here and we're Festing Breasts today. Please join in raising our fists (and our boobs)!

Bah Doze Ith Runny and I Canned Breafe

Along with three very tasty brownies from First Class, my husband gave me his cold.

So generous, my husband.

And of course, he has it when he's home, so he can nap, snooze, and relax it away, while I'm stuck here, chasing after two kids and washing my hands in a fairly obsessive manner so not to pass it on to my children.

Am I fooling myself, or is it possible for me to contain it and not give it to them?

Anyway, I have a few random things to discuss, all of which require your utmost attention.

• Anyone else excited about the season premiere of Queer Eye? Or I am totally alone in that endeavor? Or is it not even on tonight and I'm just drunk on cold medicine and juice?
• Speaking of drunk on cold medicine, did I see twin Bachelors last night? I looked up at my silent television to see two identical men vying after bevvy of desperate lovely beauties. Or maybe it was that I was just drunk on cold medicine and juice (can you tell I'm riding that excuse for as long as I can?).
• Is it wrong that I told my daughter that the Airborne kid's powder stuff was candy? I mean, it sure smells like it. And now that I've given it to her three times today, she thinks I'm the coolest mom around.
• I'm thinking they're riding this caveman thing just a little too far with a freaking sitcom? Eek.

And finally, tomorrow is the Breast Fest. Post some recorded video on your blog if you're nursing and if not, post the montage. And if you haven't seen the montage, I'm not sure what you're waiting for?! Go over there... and while you're there, leave a comment for our friendly yet totally misguided trolls.

Bottles Come in Stages, and Other Things That Make Me Realize I Really Don't Know What I'm Doing

I've been trying to give Drew a bottle since he's decided to start biting me during his bedtime nursing session. I know he's teething, and with my daughter, the biting never happened until at the tail end of a session, and then rarely at all. But with Drew, he's been chewing on my nipples for the last three nights about two minutes into his bedtime nursing session.

And I'm not liking it. At all.

So, I bought some different kinds of formula and decided to try to give him a bottle. It's helpful for a variety of reasons -- not only because if he'll take it, that means I won't be stuck doing bedtime until he's 2 years old (like I had to do with Quinlan), but then I won't have a series of very cute, but still very annoying bite marks on my boob.

And so, there he was, totally taking the bottle. Sucking heartily on the formula and I was extremely excited until I looked at the bottle and realized he had only taken maybe two ounces, which, for all his sucking, should have been the whole bottle.

Brilliant mother that I am, I realized that perhaps bottles come in different flows, or as my friend pointed out, different "stages." Oh yeah. Right. Stages.

Duh.

Poor kid was probably extremely thirsty drinking from a droplet. Heck. Even a droplet probably flowed faster.

Anyway, I think I'm just going to stick with a sippy cup since he takes one and I don't feel the need to start him on a bottle. Might as well stick with a sippy cup, right?

Any thoughts on this one? And seriously, the biting MUST stop. Have any of your weaned because your kid wouldn't stop using your boob as a chew toy? It was at every feeding session last night and I'm not so sure what to do.

And make sure you check out the Breast Fest montage . We need you to go vote on it, and put it up on your blog on Wednesday for the Great Virtual Breast Fest!

Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut. Sometimes You Don't.

Fairly Odd Mother. Where did that come from? My super-smart husband came up with it.  I hope it was a compliment.

So you've got three kids. Was the transition from 1-2 or 2-3 harder? When I had my second child, I quit working, so I traded in one “baby” for another.  Having a second child was just more juggling, more diapers and more tears.  But, I wasn’t quite as freaked out the second time around. I had already lost my mind when I had my third child---my firstborn was not even 4 years old---so, again, not too much of an adjustment.  As long as I count heads (1-2-3) all day long, I can keep track of them. Instead, I found going from 0 to 1 to be the hardest of all.  We had a bumpy beginning as I learned how to adjust to ‘mama hood’.

How did your decision to homeschool come about? There were so many things that factored into my decision that you’d be asleep before you finished reading them.  Let’s just say that the lifestyle seemed interesting to me, so I borrowed a book from the library called “Teach Your Own” by John Holt.  After reading this, it was hard to think of any other option.  I have plenty of days where I need to go outside and scream for a moment, but I had those days before I had kids too. My husband thinks it is how I avoid going back to work (because, you know, being home with three kids all day isn’t ‘work’).

You knew Mom-101 before she was an uber famous blogger. Any good juice on her? (heh) The one thing that still makes me laugh and shake my head in disbelief is that when we met for the first time (in October of ’91 or ’92?), she was dressed like a member of Kris Kross.

It's My Life and I'll Cry If I Want To

Jessica, tell me about your blog name. I have a little trouble when it comes to naming things, be it characters in stories, children, or blogs. My first blog was called Blanketz n' Scarves because it was a knitting blog. Then it stopped being so much about knitting and became more a reflection of my life. And that's where the, oh so original, name came from. But it's not so bad actually. It's pretty succinct, there's little doubt about what readers are going to find, and it comes with a theme song; It's my life and I'll cry if I want to..

So you're a knitter. What else do you do when you're not blogging? Right now I'm on maternity leave so I'm busy taking care of the kids, nursing the baby, watching endless Charmed and Without a Trace reruns. When I'm not on leave I'm an administrative assistant who dreams of a more exciting career writing or changing the world or something.

Why did you start blogging? I jumped on the bandwagon years ago so that I could display my few knitting master pieces. Back then I posted once a month, if that. Then I changed blogs and started from scratch. I vowed to post every day and to work on my writing. And voila!

What can't you live without? The Internet! Oh and my family, ahem...

It Depends.

I've been fortunate to have never been in a position where I've had my parenting ethics hugely challenged. Sure, I took a duck home accidentally. And I've discovered items in my bag that I didn't pay for thanks to a careless check out person.

But I've never had to lie or steal for the sake of my kids.

And I hope to never have to.

In trying to find a preschool for my daughter, I did find myself trying to think of ways to circumvent the waiting list. It was never about offering money. But I did consider telling them about my background in music and offering to teach music classes for the kids.

And it was only partially because I'd want to do it. There was definitely the other half of me that thought it might help her chances to get into the school.

I can't really say how far I would go for my kids. If they were starving, damn straight I'd steal food for them. And if they were in danger, then in my opinion, all rules fly out the window.

But I can't say I'd do anything over top to get them something they want. Like a tickle-me Elmo, or a Cabbage Patch doll.

Or an ivy-league school. 

But I just don't think it's fair to say parenting decisions are black and white. "I'll never steal." or "I'll never commit a crime."

Never say never. Because it really just depends.

So, how far would you go for your kids? Write a post about it today and be entered to win a $200 Visa Check Card. Click here for details.

Slave to the Mommy Trade

Mommies are slaves? Do tell. I was making light of being a mother.  No one ever told me once your child came out you instantly become a slave and your little being is now your master.  Every whim, every beck and call must be answered and attended to or the wrath of said child will be bestowed upon you.  It's not quite that bad now that she is 2 and is starting to understand the term "just a minute, baby."  But I was certain that her infancy was going to do me in.

So slavery drove you to blog, or something else? It started out as a way to keep our family in touch with our lives as the Navy moves us about the country, but most of them still live in the land of Dial Up and never bother to check more then their emails once a week.  Instead, blogging has become an outlet for me.  I can ask questions about motherhood or life and receive positive responses and answers.  My husband is always out to sea, writing is my way of feeling like I'm talking to someone other then my daughter  all day.  Its also a way for him to catch up on our lives. He can pull into port, log on and see new pictures or funny stories I can't or forget send him in a 200 word email.

So if you had to be someone's slave (other than your kiddo), who would it be? George Clooney is probably the only guy (significantly) older then me that I crush on.  He's funny and cute.  The Italian villa he owns doesn't hurt either.  I could live there, eat true Italian food all day every day.  Drink myself silly on wine...  ahh.

When you're not blogging, what are you doing? Appeasing my master.  Between play groups, toddler tumbling and swim class, I also enjoy shopping for shoes.  Not always for me, the kid or the hubby reap the rewards from my obsession as well.  When not bowing down to a 3 foot toddler or indulging in my shoe obsession I also like to read, watch mindless reality television, I've taught myself to crochet, and I've even started to drag myself to the gym 3 times a week.

Motherhood Insanity

So, Tiffany, why did you start blogging? I debated for months if I should take the plunge and blog.  So after much wishy washy behavior I finally decided enough was enough and this past summer Motherhood Insanity was born. I blog because if I didn't I might be forced to climb under the bed and hide. Having twins is crazy, they are always working together to get one past me. Throw a new baby into the mix and I'm just one step away from needing my own floor at the hospital. I blog because I know there are other moms out there struggling like me to keep their head above water some days. We moms aren't alone and should stick together less the children take over.

Twins? Please don't tell you dress them alike. Hell no. My twins aren't identical and honestly I rarely think of my girls as twins. They just happen to be two children that I had on the same day. They are as different as night and day and I want their clothing to reflect that. I have started letting them pick out their clothing which has proven to be hysterical in it's own right. I see other twins out dressed exactly alike and frankly I could just never do that to my girls. If they ever choose on their own to dress alike then I guess I'll have to live with it, but until then I'm promoting individualism.

So other than blogging and email, what can't you live without? Let's see, just one...I'll go with a good book.  I don't get to read as much as I would like but I love having one to look forward to and keeping a list of those I plan to read.  Currently I'm reading The Kite Runner.

A good book is almost as good as a good post. Got one to share? This is the post I wrote for my girls 4th birthday.

What's your take on the whole Britney thing? She's out of control and I want to be just like her when I grow up.  Hope you got the sarcasm on that one...wink wink. Someone should really make her wear some clothes!!! She certainly isn't helping herself out with all of her public displays but I'm sure living under a microscope is difficult.  Still...she seems rather crazy at the moment and in desperate need of some good PR and maybe a parenting class or two.

Mmmmmmmmmmm Cheese

So is there really such a thing as a cheese party? Not yet, but I'm totally down with throwing one now that we have a new house! Come one, come all!

Great. What kind of cheese should I bring? That's like asking me which of my kids I love more! I would probably pick a nice gruyère if you forced me to choose, though.

When and why did you start Cheese Party? June 2005, a few days before I found out I was pregnant with my firstborn Sammy. My initial intent was to blog during my pregnancy so that my family could read all about it, but I got off topic by day three.

How's the two-kid thing going? So far two is fun. I was worried that I wouldn't get enough quality time with Sam, but we've made it work. It's hard sometimes to switch back and forth from a toddler frame of mind to an infant frame of mind. When Sam is pitching a fit over something silly, I ignore his crying and he stops. I can't really get away with that when Lucy starts wailing!

So is having two kids the best part of parenting, or something else? When I hear Sam calling for me when he wakes up in the morning. That and having a convenient excuse for the extra 30 pounds and drawer full of stained shirts.

Your blog in one sentence.The best blog you'll ever read. (See, now you just to come by to see if I'm full of it!)

Randomness (And Chasing After 3 Kids)

Why blog, Tiffany? I have started several blogs before this one. But then with everything happening in my life, I figured I need a way to “vent” and I have never been into writing a journal –kinda funny, because I am basically doing that on the computer.  I also wanted to keep up with my friends that have moved away (coming from a navy town you get a lot of moving) and family that don’t get to see the kids.

I know you're sick of this question, but HOW DO YOU DO IT?  Honestly- I have no clue. I get that question so much, and it is truly a choir. But I always wanted a big family. Not necessarily so close in age. But hey I have got three wonderful kids and they keep me so busy that I don’t even think about it to much. Also my mom and step dad life 15 minutes away! They are a lifesaver! I seriously think I would be self committing myself if they were not here to give me a “break” every now and then.

So, we know you can't live without your kids. What else can't you live without? My camera. I love “documenting” our special memories. With my kids dad and my brother are in the navy, and with friends that are military, I love the fact that when they visit we can take pictures and always “remember” those moments. It also helps the kids remember friends that they only see 1 a month or longer!

What are you doing when you're not blogging? Chasing after 3 kids. Seriously that’s what I am usually doing.  Between play dates, church, activities that they are in. It gets hectic. But when I am not doing the usual “mom” thing. I love to scrapbook, paint, cooking, baking, and pretty much anything creative.

Life at Nupboard Central

Lady M in one sentence: I write about food cravings, vintage ballroom dance, cute plush sea
creatures, the occasional bit about work in high tech, and life as a
wife, mom of a toddler, and little one-to-come!

Vintage Ballroom? Come again. A couple of months ago, I had fun showing how one of my elaborate
Victorian costumes is put together, from the corset onwards.

So dancing influences your blogging. Sort of. I'm a choreographer, and I started the blog as a way to be creative without requiring studio space, a dozen dancers, and a babysitter.  I would write posts instead of writing dances, at any time of day or night.  Since then, I've found my way into this great community of moms and others, and I'm hooked!  My husband (SwingDaddy) writes a daily blog
about our son, and we're quite geeky together.

What's your take on the Mommy Wars? I can't believe there are people with so much time on their hands that they can spend weeks railing against the choices of other women.  Don't they have any work to do or children to raise?

No kidding. So what should they be spending their time on? Access to quality healthcare for everyone.

Other than your pearl milk tea, what can't you live without? I can't live without wireless Internet access.  It lets me work from home so that my office hours are a bit more flexible, and of course, it
makes it easier to read blogs!

Check out more Mom Trap Reader features all week long. And make sure to visit my other blog today. EVEN MORE free stuff!

 

Enjoy Each Day the Most That You Can; You Won't Get it Back

How did you start blogging, Robin? I’ve been reading other people’s blogs and thought it would be fun to try one of my own. I also thought it was only fair that if I was reading about who they are, they should know more about me (should they think my life is interesting enough to read up on).

So you're addicted to blog reading? It’s scary how addicting this is! But seriously, other than the obvious (my son, husband, food, sleep) it’s at least one trip to the bathroom without being interrupted each day. Is that really asking too much?!?

I love the notion of enjoying the day the most that you can. But what's the worst advice someone has given you? Let him go ahead and do it (any rule that is not allowed in our house), it won’t hurt to let him have some fun (said by either family or another adult, in front of child so it completely undermines parental decisions/authority).

When you're not blogging, what are you up to? I guess other normal Mom-like activities – scrap booking, reading, watching reality TV, household stuff and trying to get some time in on the bike or a kickboxing class. In reality most of that never happens. What I do make sure to do each day is make sure to have quality time with my son. Everything else can wait, but I can’t go back in time and get more time with him.

Stay tuned for more Mom Trap reader features all week long. Want to be featured? Email me. And go visit my other blog. I've giving away free stuff today!

The Randomness of Life

So Jodifur. Where does that come from? I hated my name growing up, and actually still do. I'm of the generation that every fifth girl was named Jennifer, and my mom didn't want that. So I became Jodi Michelle. But I hated my name. I didn't understand why they didn't name me Jennifer. So they called me Jodifer. And I wanted to name this blog that, but it was taken.

What's the hardest part of parenting? Knowing what to do when you have tried everything and nothing has worked. Why won't this baby sleep, hungry, no, cold, no, hot, no, fever, no, teething, no. It start when they are little and never stops.

So you can't live without Diet Coke. What about your son? His burp cloth. For about a year now, Michael will only go to sleep if he is holding a burp cloth. It is a burp cloth from Target that has a little flower on it and I have never been able to find another one. Doug almost left it at a Starbucks in Breezewood, PA and I almost killed him, which I think is an even trade for a toddler who won't sleep.

When you're not blogging, what are you doing? Working as an attorney in child abuse, surfing the net, and watching really bad tv. Oh, and playing with my son of course!

Stay tuned for more Mom Trap Featured Readers all this week. And hop on over to my other blog. I'm giving away cool prizes every day this week!

The Dreaded Orange and Black

As an American kid growing up in France I never got to indulge my love of Halloween. No teeny tiny little candy bars examined carefully for signs of nefarious tampering, no evenings of trick-or-treating dressed in cheap costumes, no pathetic haunted houses, no hacked up Jack-o-Lanterns. October 31st was just the night before November 1; nothing special (until I started college and started dragging my French friends to over crowded American style restaurants. Oh yeah, those were the days…)

Then I moved to the States, had a little girl, and finally realized my time had come. Dress the cutie up in some adorable costume and the night was mine! Bwah ha ha ha! (Insert maniacal laughter here.) The first year she was a lobster. We didn’t take her trick-or-treating. She was only 5 months old so we figured the neighbors would see right through our ruse to score free candy. Last year she was a chicken. (Ironic really, now that I think of it.)

We teamed up with some friends and took our toddlers on the town. "Go knock on the door. Don’t forget to say thank you!" repeated ad nauseum as we trekked from door to door. Once the kids started to drag their feet and the bags of loot were getting heavy we headed home. And that’s when the party screeched to a wailing halt.

C, who until that day had gone to bed without a peep, refused to lie down and cried piteously until I rocked her to sleep. The next day featured much of the same, both at nap times and bed time. The third day I tried to make her tough it out. She fell asleep standing up with her head resting on the railing of her crib, tears streaming down her face. The fourth day I tricked her by introducing a funky new music playing/mamma’s voice recording night light. I patted myself on the back for being so clever and put the whole incident behind me.

Ha! I wish.

This year there will be no trick-or-treating. There may not even be handing out of candy at the door. For, ever since that fateful night, little C is terrified of people in costumes. Heck, she even flips out if we even mention the word costume. Do you know how many people ask a two year old what she’s going to be for Halloween?

I used to rub my hands in glee at the thought that Halloween was just around the corner. Now I cringe when I see all the orange and black covering the aisles of the stores we frequent. It’s just not fair. She better not start boycotting Christmas, s’all I’m saying, even if Santa is just a big dude in a costume.

This was a guest post written by Rose at It’s My Life... in honor of this month’s blog exchange.

When I’m not busy working, cooking, or running after my toddler, C, I’m usually hiding in the bathroom thinking up my next blog post or trying to read a chapter or two of the book I’m currently wading through. When I do come up with something witty to write about, you can read it here where Kristen is hanging out today!

Visit all the rest of The Blog Exchange posts on the theme of Orange and/or Black here. And visit Motherhood Uncensored today. I'm giving away some awesome prizes ALL WEEK!

The Mom Trap Reader Highlights: Who Wants to Be Featured?

All this week I'm doing Reader Appreciation over at Motherhood Uncensored with lots of giveaways, but I also want to recognize my Mom Trap readers as well. So, before you go over to MU to throw your name in the proverbial hat (great prizes, I promise), drop me an email if you'd like to be highlighted here.

I have a few fun questions plus I'd love to put a picture up. So drop me an email and I'll send you the questions. I'll be highlighting two bloggers per day on Tuesday - Friday.

And if you haven't seen The League of Maternal Justice site, please stop by. We could definitely use your support for our first two missions, with more to follow! If you've got any breastfeeding photos, please share them for our montage. And consider nursing live or via recorded video on our Breast Fest day (10/10 at 10am!). Also, we've started a Cafemom group to start the discussion on what we can do about other issues that are important to moms. Join up, will ya?

And come back tomorrow for a special guest blogger courtesy of the Blog Exchange!

Free Flying is Great, But Where's the Nanny?

The first comment I get when I tell folks that my husband is a pilot is "Oh nice. You get to fly for free." And yes, this is true. But if you've ever done pass travel, then you know this benefit is a double edged sword.

And if you've ever done pass travel with two small children alone, then you know it's almost not a benefit.

As a child, I traveled a lot thanks to my father's job. I was very fortunate to have parents that believed seeing the world and exploring different places was important.

But flying back then was totally different. Heck, you could smoke on a plane!

Now, however, you can barely bring a lip gloss on. And people seem to be hyper sensitive when it comes to babies and kids. And honestly, trying to get through security, is like running the gauntlet.

I'm not kidding. Two car seats, a stroller, plus EVERYTHING in a carry on since you have to fly standby. The last thing you need is to get stuck with kids in an airport with nothing.

Then top off the whole "there's not enough room on this plane for you" thing and well, buying a ticket looks not-so-bad. In fact, it looks pretty darn good. And then the hotel? With two kids? Not the greatest option, unless you enjoy going to bed at 8pm when they do.

So until I can figure out how to make going away an actual vacation, I'll stick around here. Where I can drink a full can of soda and let my kid scream without people reading me the riot act.

If you've got a vacation story, or tips on how to make it through a vacation with kids without losing your hair, then share it today. You could win a portable dvd player. Check it out!

Formula is the Devil's Juice

I've been trying to give Drew some formula. I'm not sure why exactly. I suppose I could pump, but my supply is pretty regulated right now.

*Note to self. Don't talk about your perfect regulated supply on the internet because it's sure to go back to a total wonky leaky fest*

And I want to leave the house without him. So, I've been trying it.

But people, FORMULA STINKS. I mean literally. It's stinky.

Why is this, exactly? I've purchased regular formula and organic soy formula, neither of which he will take. And I've tried giving it to him in his Nuby, a bottle (which we haven't used in ages), and his sippy cup with no luck.

Yep. We've got a spitter, people.

So, care to enlighten me on how exactly you get your kid to drink formula?

Al Gore, You Speak the Truth

I've never really been a car person. So long as it doesn't cost more to fix it than the cost of the actual car and it fits my children better than a can of sardines, I could care less what it looks like.

But I'm in the minority, at least in this country.

Cars equal status around these parts. The bigger and faster it goes, the better it is -- and the cooler you are. And really, who am I to tell you what kind of car you drive.

But as a zipped around in my mom's Prius last week, I felt really good. (Gotta love the extent of my activism -- Green Peace I am not).

And then I got behind a Hummer, and I felt really bad.

The excess. The pollution. The earth.

I admit to not being the greenest person in the universe. In fact, when I sat and thought about it (inhaling the fumes of the Hummer), I realized I pretty much suck. Diapers, way too much running water, disposable plates, plastic bags, TONS of wash... The list went on and on and on.

I honestly don't think about it much -- maybe it's to avoid the guilt. Or maybe it's because it never really mattered to me.

But when I sat there, I realized that we're in deep trouble. The earth is a mess. We've spent way too much time not giving a crap -- just living out of total convenience and utter disregard for the earth.

But it's catching up to us. And I'm worried. Not for myself, but for my kids.

How much would it cost for us to all drive hybrids? Or turn off the water? Or use paper instead of plastic?

Time and convenience, YES. But in the long run, the return is enormous.

I'm saying I'm going to live without electricity, but I am going to make an effort.

Turn off the water while I brush my teeth.

Choose paper instead of plastic.

Hang dry some of my clothes instead of drying them to a pulp all the way.

Hiring a nanny (heh -- saves energy, right?) -- just kidding.

This is a Mom Trap replay in honor of tonight's podcast "It Can Be Easy Being Green: How to Make Green Parenting Work for You." It's not as hard as it sounds, right?

I'll be sharing the changes I've been trying to make (oh, ziploc bags, how I love you) and I'll be speaking with the lovely ladies from BlogHers Act Canada, as well as Romi Lassally from True Green Confessions. If you've got tips, questions, comments, or thoughts to share, please call in: (646) 915-8634. It's also my first show with BTR's new chat feature, so if you don't want to call, but like to chat, then come try it out!

Live 9-10pm EST. Leave me a comment, drop me an email, or call in. We'll pick two lucky callers to win an awesome lunch bag (recently featured here) from our sponsor Lunchopolis.

If you're new to this podcasting thing, just listen while you read your blogs, or if you can't listen live, you can download via iTunes (Motherhood Uncensored).

In Which I Admit That I'm Already Thinking About Halloween

It must happen when you buy a house. At least that's what I'm blaming my cute little display of mums, a pumpkin and three gourds outside my front door on.

Seriously. Someone better call a doctor.

I have a holiday themed "display" on my porch, people. I have definitely jumped the shark.

And if that's not all, I'm already thinking about Halloween costumes.

Go ahead. Shiver right along with me.

I blame my daughter for this one since she dragged me into the Disney Store (okay, I offered it as a reward for making good choices at the food court but still...). And there they were in all their glory.

THE DAMN PRINCESS COSTUMES.

And of course, she picked Snow White. Which then, in turn led me to think "What could Drew be?"

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

A DWARF.

C'mon. You'd think about it too.

Now, I'm not going to pay $69.99 for a freaking baby dwarf costume on eBay (Shame on you, you Unamerican costume dealer). So then, my friend suggested an Apple.

Now that's funny, except I don't think people would get it. Well, smart funny people would. But everyone else would be like "Is he a strawberry?" and I'd have to explain the irony and well... that's just annoying.

So, I think I'm sticking with dwarf, except THIS MAMA DON'T SEW.

Any ideas on how to create a dwarf like outfit?

And please, pretty please, with large tasty cherries, go here and show your support. Spread the word, send in your pictures, please please please! This whole breastfeeding in a closet because that's the only "appropriate" place to do it is driving me nuts.