I admit to enjoying a hearty laugh from some of your tales of mommy misfortune. You know, lipstick wall art, tupperware excavating, and my favorite, the ever popular bathtub poopy. But if there's anything I should have learned from my luck as of late, it's best to keep the lips zipped and the laughing to the idiots on America's Funniest Home Videos. Because you never know when you're going to be fishing poop out of a tub chock full of plastic toys and foam alphabet letters.
And so, there it was. The husband called to me from the bathroom.
"Hey hon, you've got to see this. She's farting in the tub and bubbles are coming out of her ass."
Nice. But wait. My baby's blowing ass bubbles and I wasn't about to miss it.
But then. I heard it.
"Oh no. She's pooping. Damnit."
I'm not sure why I kept running towards the tub, but I figured I could at least fish her out so that I avoid the other fishing.
It was pretty bad. Turds floating amidst weird word combinations like "cmfarn" and "dijsog." I slapped her on the toilet and he donned a makeshift glove formed out of a plastic shopping bag, grabbing turds as quickly as he could.
After a few chuckles, we figured it was almost inevitable. Like sleepless nights, and sore breasts, pooping in the tub was just par for the course. We had made it. Another parenting rite of passage to check off the list.
And hey, you have to admit, it definitely beats the shit *ahem* out of bobbing for apples.
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Posted by: 展覽公司 | October 02, 2013 at 07:55 AM
Oh I'm sorry, here's the link:
http://www.dadlabs.com/general_parenting/bathtime101_poop_in_the_tub.html
Posted by: DadEO | April 02, 2007 at 12:42 PM
You guys will love this great bath video for parents, it's hilarious! Poop in the tub made simple!
Here's the url, I wish I could post a link:
http://www.dadlabs.com/general_parenting/
bathtime101_poop_in_the_tub.html
Posted by: DadEO | April 02, 2007 at 12:40 PM
Ah- yes. The code brown. Recently my daughter was sick so I was giving her baths during the day to bring down her fever and low and behold I got to experience a new joy in parenthood- diarrhea in the tub. She rather enjoyed swishing it around until I scooped her up!
Posted by: Vanessa | June 30, 2006 at 11:23 PM
Did you ever read CityMama's posts about Wallie pooping in the tub? CityMama taught Bunny (the older girl) to yell "Code Brown" when she spotted a turd. Hi-larious! (although not for mama who had to scrub down the tub with bleach afterward...)
Posted by: Nancy | June 27, 2006 at 08:31 PM
Welcome to the club! We've had a visit from Mr. Poopy, too.
Love the head shot. Very nice!
Posted by: Mary Tsao | June 27, 2006 at 07:46 PM
Been there, done that. Except that I screamed the whole time. The graphic nature of the scene was too much for me to take.
Posted by: KC | June 27, 2006 at 04:56 PM
I don't know how or why we were so blessed, but we never had to suffer this particular rite of passage with our daughter.
Posted by: Latte Man | June 27, 2006 at 12:39 PM
See? I learn new things from you all the time. Ass bubbles are an early warning system. Plastic bags make good bathtub pooper scoopers.
Am prepared now! Bring on the shits.
Posted by: Her Bad Mother | June 27, 2006 at 08:38 AM
How poo-ey.
Our oldest has an irrational fear that her little sister will poo in the water. It makes every bath that much more fun.
Posted by: something blue | June 27, 2006 at 01:34 AM
Too much fun, those bathroom "floaties"....
Love your new photo!
Posted by: Daily Piglet | June 26, 2006 at 11:45 PM
You changed your photo! It is beautiful.
And yep... Been through the poop hittin the water too....
Posted by: Lisa B | June 26, 2006 at 10:04 PM
I must have blocked out the memory of the boys pooping in the tub-my husband says yes, they did. My 9 year old says "gee Mom, I HOPE you blocked out that memory"!.Guess he doesn't want me telling his girlfriends some day ;)
And LOVE the new profile photo. Try to look JUST LIKE THAT at BlogHer so I'll recognize you, mmmkay?
Posted by: Elizabeth | June 26, 2006 at 09:06 PM
our worst was in my mom's hot tub on vacation in arizona when fluffy was only a bit over a year. he was in in a diaper, sitting in the swirling warm tub with me and my mom, and after a while we wondered what in the world were those things zooming around and up and down us? raisons? nuts? peas? oh my. no. the diaper had leaked everywhere and it was shit stew. la la!
Posted by: kyra | June 26, 2006 at 08:57 PM
Hahaha. At least you weren't at a public pool. :-) Remember Caddyshack? I do.
Posted by: mrsfortune | June 26, 2006 at 06:56 PM
HA! We passed that milestone at least TWICE!
Posted by: MIM | June 26, 2006 at 06:04 PM
Here's a thought: what if some societies really do play the game "bob for poop?" Maybe they can't afford apples or the land isn't good for growing apple trees. The more I think about it, the more insensitive I feel you post is. Really, next time give some though to people who might now have the resources to play fun games like bobbing for apples. Or try not to flaunt it.
Posted by: Stefanie | June 26, 2006 at 05:54 PM
Yes, we passed that milestone just recently, and ugh, what a mess. Ass bubbles are just the early warning sign that they're about to blow.
Afterwards, we fished out the poop, then ran a tub full of water and bleach, with the toys still there.
Posted by: Christina | June 26, 2006 at 04:55 PM
HAHA!! That happend just after my daughter turned one. She had just started taking baths with her brother and she was tooting and they both thought it was funny and then all of a sudden I hear my son yell "MOMMMMMMM theres something weird in the tub!!"
yea...weird like a turd
Posted by: Karla | June 26, 2006 at 04:13 PM
Oh god, Pumpkinpie used to do that ALL THE TIME! it seemed like easily once a week for a few months there. She seems to have better control now and it hasn't happened for quite a while. *must go touch wood now, have tempted the fates*
Posted by: kittenpie | June 26, 2006 at 03:46 PM
If thats what it takes to join the parenthood club then I'd rather stay uninitiated. Ewww. It makes for great blog fodder, though!
There's a song stuck in my head. What is that tune? Oh yeah!
Oh, oh Pretty Woman!
(love the new photo)
Posted by: Mrs. Chicky | June 26, 2006 at 03:23 PM
Apparently I haven't Made It yet. Do I HAVE to go through this rite of passage? yuk. There is still time for me I guess. My daughter's only 8 months.
Lucky for me my husband also does baths! =o)
Posted by: Maniacal | June 26, 2006 at 03:13 PM
You're fortunate to have made it this long.
Posted by: Chag | June 26, 2006 at 03:06 PM
Wow I never realized how lucky I was, thankfully, that hasn't happend to me yet... My oldest is 2 and 1/2 and my youngest is 8 months so it's still possible but hopefully i'll get lucky:)
Posted by: wolfbaby | June 26, 2006 at 02:58 PM
Ewww. We haven't been lucky enough to cross this particular milestone yet. For now, I'm happy to live vicariously through you!
Posted by: Mommy off the Record | June 26, 2006 at 02:41 PM
I am actually impressed that you made it to the girls 23rd month of life without that happening. You guys handeled it like pros.
Posted by: Melissa | June 26, 2006 at 02:38 PM
Next up: the first time your child says Fuck, Shit or Damn (or possibly all three) in front of your boss/mother/priest.
Posted by: DD | June 26, 2006 at 02:26 PM
That's hilarious, 'cuz that just happened to us last night. A couple times in the last week, The Pumpkin's said "poop" and given the poop sign in the tub, and the first time we freaked out and grabbed her out and put a diaper on her, and nothing. Second time, nothing either. Thought she was kidding. So last night, she does it again, and she crouches in the water and has that poop-face on, but when we try to grab her she says "No!" and scoots back. So, we're thinking, another joke or false alarm? Uh, not when we see bubbles in the water, followed by... So we grabbed her, put a diaper on her (which we had in the bathroom already, when she first gave the poop sign--so much for planning!), and she finished in the diaper. Spent the rest of the evening disinfecting the toys and the tub. Ugh. :)
Posted by: ddaddy in a strange land | June 26, 2006 at 02:13 PM
I've been spared the tub theatrics, but we've had a poo in the shower incident. It was soooo much easier to clean than a regular diaper change :)
Posted by: laura | June 26, 2006 at 02:03 PM
Sorry. Dis-tract-ed-by-blindingly-gorgeous-profile-photo.
Now that was one damn funny story. I actually never had to experience the bathtub poo. Poo in loads of other places but not in the bathtub.
Posted by: Sunshine Scribe | June 26, 2006 at 01:55 PM
By the way....nice photo...you are really pretty!
Posted by: Crunchy Carpets | June 26, 2006 at 01:33 PM
You had gloves!!!?? Lucky!
Parenting....the true test of your metal.
The thing we catch 'lovingly' with our hands - barf, poop, food that was not tastey....aaah the joy.
Yeah, poor Adam has leapt pretty fast out of the tub when Caity decided to let go!
hee hee.
Posted by: Crunchy Carpets | June 26, 2006 at 01:32 PM
Oh, poop in the tub. I think george loves to poo in there, it's happened more times that I'd like to admit. So gross.
Nice new glam shot up there Kristen. You look saucy, just like Q.
Posted by: krista | June 26, 2006 at 12:39 PM
I love the new pic. You so pretty.
And I love how men are so amused by tub bubbles. Tacy has never pooped in the tub, but inevitably she'll get in and then immediately decide she needs to poop and hop right back out, leaving puddles on the bathroom floor between the tub and the toilet.
CJ did shit the tub once, but she wasn't feeling well, so I have to give her a pass. And Kyle handled it all, thankfully.
I had to giggle about the foam letters too - we have those, and Tacy is puts them together nonsensically, asks what word she has spelled, and then pouts when we tell her she hasn't spelled anything.
Posted by: mothergoosemouse | June 26, 2006 at 12:31 PM
I haven't had that rite of passage just yet, though my son does find the bubbles funny. Now, he's to the point where he'll point to the toilet and say "poop" when he has to go. I've taken to putting him on the toilet beforehand just to make sure. Toilet training is so much fun, huh?
Posted by: Andrea | June 26, 2006 at 11:27 AM
Well, now I know that ass bubbles are the warning signal. My daughter better not so much as toot in the tub or she's going to have a toddlerhood of very short bath experiences.
Posted by: Binky | June 26, 2006 at 11:20 AM
omg. That was awesome until "bobbing for apples", which made me almost vomit. HAHHA! Grody.
In other news, you're SO friggin cute with your new picture. Loves it! :)
Posted by: Chase | June 26, 2006 at 10:32 AM
Ack! More poop... I'm dying over here!!
& very pretty new photo.
Posted by: Kristin | June 26, 2006 at 10:18 AM
We haven't experienced pooping in the tub yet but I don't doubt we will.
It's refreshing to know there's another husband out there who gets a giggle out of his child's bowel movements.
I'll never forget hearing my husband shout, "Oh my God! She's pooping! You gotta come see this!" from my daughter's bedroom.
Posted by: Nichole | June 26, 2006 at 10:08 AM
hehe it happens to the best of us!!
Posted by: chelle | June 26, 2006 at 09:56 AM
Too funny, Kristen. We just "broke the cherry" last week when our daughter dropped off a bunch of massive turds in the bathtub. Unfortunately, I was giving her a bubble bath so I didn't immediately figure out what my hands were touching underneath the suds. When I grabbed a handful of poop, I practically freaked. Fun stuff. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Posted by: MetroDad | June 26, 2006 at 09:46 AM
Um, yeah, I'm so thankful that we haven't encountered this one yet. I'm not sure what I would do, but I'm so glad I read your story because I never would have thought of grabbing a plastic shopping bag. Brilliant!
Love the new photo!
Posted by: Stephanie A. | June 26, 2006 at 09:33 AM
You went from Alphabet Soup to Alphabet Poop.
Nice.
Posted by: Jenny | June 26, 2006 at 09:17 AM
Oh hilarious!!Especially the part about bubbles coming out of her ass. I can just imagine her face as she does it with daddy looking on.
PS GORGEOUS new photo dahlink. You get prettier every day it seems.
Posted by: Mom101 | June 26, 2006 at 08:52 AM
I have been fortunate enough to have escaped that particular rite of passage. Pooping in the car without any extra diapers, now that's one I've had to deal with again and again. You'd think I would remember to stuff some extra Huggies in there by now!
Posted by: Stacy | June 26, 2006 at 08:46 AM
see only a parent finds that funny...only a parent...haha...
Posted by: Becky | June 26, 2006 at 08:39 AM