It's Hip to Be Square or in my case, a Parallelogram

With the emergence of Babble and half a dozen other "hipsta - urban parent" blog outlets, I'm starting to realize that I'm far from cool.

Basically, I'm warm. Luke warm.

At one point in my life, I might have considered myself to be fairly "in-the-know" -- whatever that means exactly. It's such a subjective term and quite frankly if "cool" means anything close to what the mainstream is touting these days, then I'm sort of glad I'm not.

But if it means being funky, different, and downright fan-fucking-tabulous, then oh-how-I-wish to be cool.

At some level, it's hard not to be envious of the fabulous hipsters that write daily on all things supposedly relevant to my life as a parent. Do I care that Boston is the best place to have kids? Not really. Am I excited that PeeWee Herman is making a comeback? Eh. Not so much. But I still read it anyway.

Because let's face it...

Don't we all want to be just a little bit hip in our fairly average suburbia lives?

But as we strive to be the slim jean, ripped shirt, dark-rimmed glasses set that make the bad mom the new good, part of me (and a few other people) [added: okay... since I wrote this... about 14000 other people wrote about this here topic plus some huge Time article] can't help but think it becomes just a little bit tired, fairly exclusive, or perhaps, one dimensional.

Damnit. It's hard to be cool all the time.

And as I read I wonder... Is there no softer side? No room for flashing princess shoes? No shopping at Old Navy? No space for the weepy, overdramatic mother of a growing brood? Is that so totally UNCOOL now?

Or maybe that's what Clubmom and Babycenter are for...

Part of me enjoys the variety of blogs I write, and the various personas they represent. Do I curse and talk about balls for the majority of my day? God. I hope not. And I'm certainly not the uber indy shopper when I'm perusing the clearance racks at Target. Hello. Even Cool Moms do sales.

And so, I think that where I am, in this mix of suburban meets hipster-wanna-be meets child-led parent who just so happens to wear dark-rimmed glasses (at night, that is), is pretty darn cool. Sometimes I don't drink and I don't curse. Sometimes I crush hard on my kids, dress her in floofy dresses, and buy princess pillow cases.

Maybe it's time to let hip be square or whatever other shape you want it to be and let uncool be the new cool.

Motherhood Uncensored. Tragically un-hip and loving every fucking minute of it.

Comments

[Anne]

Old Navy is great and one of my favourite stores.

-Anne
http://hubpages.com/hub/oldnavycoupons

[Mama C-ta]

I'm cool, but I'm sure I'm the only one that thinks so. Fortunately I just don't give a shit if I'm part of the cool crowd or not. I roll my eyes at most of that talk.

And funny, I feel very UNcool when I wear my skinny jeans. The only reason I bought those damn things was b/c I thought my ass looked half decent and lookd cute w/my diesel flats.

From this side of the laptop, you seem to just be yourself so anyone who does that is cool to me.

[Angela]

As a never been cool person, I realize that the advent of the child cemented my uncool status. I am just envious of all the people who can actually shop at Old Navy (nearest one is three hours away).

[Angela]

As a never been cool person, I realize that the advent of the child cemented my uncool status. I am just envious of all the people who can actually shop at Old Navy (nearest one is three hours away).

[Binky]

I have like three different quotes that I apply to basically every life situation imaginable. Today, you get Ferris Bueller (and you've probably seen me use it in other comments, so please excuse the redundancy; but since I have only three mottos, they tend to show up a lot.):

"-Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: 'I don't believe in Beatles - I just believe in me.' A good point there. Of course, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus - I'd still have to bum rides off of people."

[Mom101]

The foofy dresses, the crushing on your kids, the love of "guilty pleasure" kids music at times - that's exactly what makes you cool. You're real. You're yourself. I'm sorry, no one who really listens to those Kurt Kobain songs- turned-muzac which end up on "hipster lullabye" cds are anything but wannabes. You've got your own thing going on!

Besides, you're a CMP tastemaker. That's cool.

[Selfmademom]

It's so funny how the internet has skewed my perception of "cool." I used to think I was cool until I started a blog and read about hipster parenting and the like. Now I look around and think, how do I fit in with the "in" crowd? *Sigh* Too bad you all can't see me in my fancy denim and platform shoes right now sipping a cocktail with my son in my lap. Yeah, right.

[Mel (Mama! Mama!)]

Some days I really think it would be...um...cool to be cool...but most of the time I'll go with lukewark. I do have the cool glasses though...I wear them with my Target and Old Navy clothes. :)

Lukewarm is the new cool. It's a revolution I have started just this moment...does that make me cool?

[GIRL'S GONE CHILD]

I have no idea what cool means anymore. All I know is that coolness, uncoolness, luke-warmness, on fire hotness... is completley subjective. And it isn't High School, anymore, so I'm pretty sure we can all eat lunch at the same table and be friends and talk shit and rock out together without judgement. I think.

[JailDiet]

What exactly is cool now-a-days? That's what I want to know. I assume I'm cool, but who looks good in skinny jeans other than bones in a bag!?

Are slim jeans so ugly and dorky that they're cool? Because they sure don't make your thighs look slim!

My generation (one just beneath you) is starting to ruin the world with irony. Ugly is the new cute. Dirty is the new clean.

I mean, who would've thunk that the majority of the population would spend $200 on jeans that already look like they've been ran over by a car leaking oil and anti-freeze, peed on my a giant horse (for that yellow streaky look), stompled over by a herd of lions (for that worn in holey look), and then worn by a giant fat man (for the thigh creasey look).

I clearly don't! $200 goes towards food--and that's why those damn people look so good in those skinny jeans!

Is cloudy is the new sunnny?
God, I sound like a grandma and I'm only 25!

Cool's the new dorky, so let us be proud!

[Redneck Mommy]

I'm too tired to be cool, and too tired to care.

As long as I can occasionally make milk spurt out of my kid's nose, that's all I care about.

Cuz nothing is cooler to a pair of nine and ten year olds than a mom who can make them snort.

[Kara]

Right now I am cool in the eyes of my three and a half year old and 14 month old. That's good enough for me.

And my Old Navy clearance jeans (bought online - that's cool isn't it?) are way better than the expensive Antik jeans I just bought - hate them.

[FishyGirl]

I've never been cool. Unless you count being cool amongst those at Band Camp. And I'm okay with that - I like who I am, most of the time, and if others don't like that, whatever, it's their loss. Being hip for me would take far too much work, and I'd rather spend that time playing with my kids.

[rockabyemama]

Ok, I'm going to have to go back and read all those links...but hey, Kristen, if you're not cool, then I must be super crazy uncool! I've definitely always thought that you were the epitome of the sassy (is that word uncool, too?), smart, funky, funny, confident-enough-not-to-care-what-other-people-think, up on all the latest everything, way cool mom. I think the fact that you're not always thinking about being cool makes you more cool, right?

If, as a mom, someone is so focused on being cool, doesn't that take away from the spontaneous, make a fool out of yourself fun that provides some of the best experiences for our kids?

[Amanda]

Hibbidy fuck! So exhausting trying to avoid the pigeon holing. Personally I can't sustain any look or any parentng approach 100% of the time. I think a hearty stew of hip mom, dork mom, princess-fairy-unicorn mama, hot mama and working at the computer while nursing one baby and explaining to the 2.5 year old why she can't scoop potty from the dog's ass with a teaspoon is an incredibly nourishing, top shelf experience for kids. I'll read Babble for its articles that make me feel ok for hating Maisy and I'll shop Target for the end of the aisle rock bottom priced crafty things and I'll cobble together whatever the fuck outfits I can. Oh, and I'll also read hiptastic articles from moms like you who blend candor, humor and heart. I raise a princess sippy cup to you!

[Asha]

I have long stretches of ehhhhhh punctuated with flashes of coolness and, at other times, utter crap. Isn't that just life? The good, the bad, the ugly, all rolled up? To pigeonhole ourselves as "cool," or "hipster," or even "uncool" sells us short.

[Kyla]

This was good.

And I so want that shirt. :)

[kim]

You and CityMama make the top of my cool list. I pick low-rise jeans over "mom" jeans, still shop for myself at Old Navy and have a pair of those dark-rimmed glasses for when my contacts are burning my eyes out. And heck, that's hip enough for me! (Anyway, it's hard enough to keep up with the toddler's shoe collection without giving too much thought to my own...)

[roxanne]

Personally, I think being "cool" is being different. If different means that you didn't put on makeup and threw on mismatched sweats to take kids to the park on a whim. I mean, looking back at my childhood, that would have been cool. My mom took 2 hours to get dressed for grocery shopping. My hus. got me an ipod, and I can't even think of anything from the year 2000-2007 to download. How bad is that??

[FENICLE]

Cool is out. Bad is in!

[Sandra]

I know so little of being cool that if I was to name 3 cool mom's you'd undoubtedly be on that list.

2 weeks ago my son told me I was not cool but I was funny and that was funnier.

[Kristen]

Here's a great t-shirt:

Motherhood Uncensored

I USED TO BE COOL

C'mon. Who's going to make it?

[Fairly Odd Mother]

And here I've been thinking that you are one of the coolest moms out there. I wish I could be cooler but it just takes up too much time, effort and money. Instead, I'll just be opinionated and odd.

[Christina]

I've certainly never claimed to be hip or cool in any way. I was a geek as a kid, and some things never change.

Have I wished to be cool? Hell yeah. But I've practically given up on it, and decided to just be happy being myself, because I'm simply too busy and tired to attempt to be something else.

[rachel]

I'm incredibly uncool. I wouldn't know a current song if it hit me in the face.

Do I care? not so much. I'd like to be more cool, or at least not so frumpy and mom-ish, but I don't actually want to put any effort into it.

[Mrs. Davis]

It seems like since the "hipster parent" label started getting tossed around, people (especially those who really fit that demographic) began to run from it. So the new "cool" is talking about how "uncool" we supposedly are. I just posted on this last week (http://lovelydavis.blogspot.com/2007/02/just-dont-call-me-late-for-dinner.html) after reading MetroDad's post (and GGC and the Time article).

[CrankMama]

Yes, completely, and what Izzy said. I like Babble (obviously) but I "get" that it can seem over the top. I think the struggle is to be authentic and yourself, in plaid and happy, in black and sad, and everything in between.

:)Rachael

[Izzy]

As I recently commented on one of Julie's posts, I believe that being yourself and whatever that happens to entail is the ultimate form of rebellion.

I feel very comfortable in my shoes (mom-ish Clark's sandals & clogs, actually) and the idea of looking for the next obscure cool band or the next anti-fashion fashion trend is just a little too reminiscent of my early 20's to be of interest. I prefer to rest on my I-used-to-be-cool laurels.

[PunditMom/Joanne]

Maybe we can start an uncool/unhip mom's club or blog? I am SOOO out of the range of being cool I think I've become my own mother! OH NO!!!

[Mrs. Chicky]

Amen. I'm not cool or hot. Just sort of tepid. But I'm okay with that most days.

[mothergoosemouse]

It's hard to be hip when your bra's hanging from the light fixture (and you didn't fling it there yourself).

Likewise, it's hard to be hip when our flat screen TV is used primarily for viewing SpongeBob.

[Erin]

LOVE this entry. I'm so uncool it hurts, and that's the truth.